Hello,

I am a 42 year old married SAHM of 5 plus we care for my 79 year old MIL in our home too. I feel so trapped! That is the main reason (I think) my eating has gotten soooooooooo out of control lately. Always was a "chunky" kid & we lived in a clean-your-plate household where all the food was bland bland bland. I craved more exciting food, in fact I became a chef! Wasn't really in any trouble, food wise, until at 148 lbs someone dragged me to a WW meeting (looking back, i could just KILL!) & so began the diet thing. I gained back. Hit 150 lbs. Joined WW again. Next year - same thing. Can you say yo-yo?! Then I started having babies & fighting my way back to my former weight. After my 3rd 10 lb. son, i was left with a "skin apron" on my belly UG-LEE! Trying to diet this away was proving impossible & then I got pregnant with twins! Second twin required a c-section which really added to my figure problems. Not blaming my beautiful babies, but I REALLY started to loathe this body after all that baby making! Not to mention the stress I was under with 5 kids under 7 at one time - 3 in diapers, 2 being breast fed! I did join TOPS after my twins but I really had it with the deprivation of dieting by then & quit. I've been hovering around the 200 lbs mark for at least 5 years now. I really hate it. Since my MIL arrived here, 2 years ago (she has nearly died several times), I have been house bound a lot of the time & feeling resentful. We are getting deeper in debt. Our sex life is non-existant due to several factors. I just feel like the entire world revolves around me being here at home - husband's work (3 shifts), 5 kids (2 schools) & MIL's doc appointments, meds, special diets. AaaaaaaaaaaaH! So now I find myself really thinking about food. Planning my next snack. I wait for everyone to be out & I have a bag of favourite chips hidden away to be brought out. It's really creepy, don't you think? I wake up in the morning already thinking of what's to eat. I will eat things just so someone else won't even though I'm not hungry for it yet. This is getting really bad. I know it is because I feel trapped & isolated here. Hoping to get a job soon, if MIL might perhaps go to another relative for care??? If I could just get away from my fridge for a few hours & feel like I'm worthwhile, I might break the cycle. Anyway, I'm going to join the recovery group - I LOVE chat, so I hope to meet you there. Anybody out there with a situation like mine? Let's get over this thing together.

Hi scotincanada and to 3FC and to you, you've come to the best on the net, in my honest opinion, for help and support in weight management.

Where in Canada are you? I'm in Eastern Ontario. I know that around here there are organizations that have home care to help out in difficult situations such as yours. Someonen to come over sometimes to let you get out for some R&R time to go for a walk or get your nails done, just some "me" time for "you" alone and no one else...

A big to you scotincanada. Sounds like you have a very stressful life. I wish I had some advice for how to handle stress eating but I'm pretty new at this weight loss thing. Hang around here for a while and I'm sure you'll find lots of inspiration and good advice.

Welcome to 3FC!
A very stressful life indeed. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I can relate completely to your using food to deal with stress. It's something that many of us here struggle with.
One thing is certain... you need to make some time for yourself, as you're obviously the main caregiver in the family. It sounds like you're ready to do that, and we're here to support you...

Hi there!

When you feel a craving comming or that your steering towards the kitchen, find something else to do. A craving isn't gonna last all day and by doing something else, it will eventually pass. Instead of reaching out for that bag of chips when no one's home, talk a nice long walk, or talk to a friend, or take a hot bath-- anything but food! How about getting an audio book on a tape or cd and only listen to it when you exercise? That way, if you're into the book, you'd be dying to jump on that bike or take that walk to know what happens next.

Sorry I can't give you more advice other than that, considering that I'm not married nor do I ever plan on having kids. But you shouldn't burden yourself with all the responsibilties of taking care of them. Maybe your husband or MIL can help you, no matter how little they are able to aid you, it's still a helping hand. Relax a bit whenever you have the chance. Talk to a friend, anything to calm your nerves. Oh well, I tried. Good luck!

It certainly sounds like you have your hands full. I know how difficult it can be with an ill family member. My mom lived with me the last 6 months before she died of liver failure. My children were small at the time and I was between marriages. I gained a lot of weight at this time from stress eating. I worked full-time and felt like I was constantly taking off work to take my mom to a hospital or Dr.'s appt. This was a very difficult time in my life. I also had a lot of guilt after she passed from feeling like I couldn't do enough for her. I only have 2 children so can't imagine how hard it is with 5. I think you need to really let your husband know that this is too much for you and see if other arrangements can be made for your MIL. Sometimes others aren't aware that they are putting too much on us. Good luck and I agree with what the other women here have said, try to get some help so you can get out a little.