Do any of you ever feel like it's never going to happen for you like your just destined to be fat the rest of your life? I feel that way big time and I don't really consider myself fat i know im really overweight but i don't think im fat, I want to lose weight so bad but my i keep self sabatoging (sp) myself! I have no motivation at all I can't stick to anything but in my head i want to i just make up all these pathetic excuses I did great the start of this year lost 20lbs then i don't know what happened i went on a trip for a week took a break and bam here i am complaining about my lack of willpower i just can't find it i don't know what to do i am not on any kind of a program because i know that if i do that i will feel too restricted and go on a binge eventually but at the same time i need some structure or it's to easy for me to do or eat whatever I want to be a good example for my daughter i don't want to be the fat mom i don't want her to have to deal with being overweight as she get's older, my husband and her are my only reasons for dropping weight i want my husband to be proud of me and want to brag about me, i want to feel good about how i look i just can't get the motivation to get off my ***, I want to disipline myself i just don't know how or what to do... today is not a good day for me sorry for rambling im sick of the word diet and im sick of being lazy and overweight, but i don't know what to do or how to get there and i don't think it's ever going to happen for me it's a feel sorry for me day today...

You need to give yourself a little more credit.
You said this ..... but my i keep self sabatoging (sp) myself .... that proves to me that you are smarter than you think. Some folks want to believe that weightloss is some magic thing that luckily falls on other folks. We know ... you know ... that it's hard work! And for Kimberly ... it's all up to Kimberly. If it really didn't matter to you, you wouldn't be upset. If it really didn't matter to you, you wouldn't keep coming back to 3fc.
It isn't perfectly sticking to it that works the first time for any of us! I'll find that thread .....

I know exactly how you feel hon. Some days im just like "is it all really worth it?" I dont WANT to be fat, but im the kind of person that has to diet all their life to stay thinner.. Obviously didnt work too well for me since i gained almost 100lbs in the past few years (kinda sad to think about...)
I dont want my son to grow up seeing how IM eating and think its ok, which is why im glad my husband is dieting too. I want to set the best example i can for Jay. My husband and I both have always struggled with out weight, so unless Jay magically gets my dads metabolism then he probably will too and i dont want that for him!
Keep motivated, your doing great! I keep having to remind myself, the weight isnt going to come off overnight. You gotta keep working at it, and it will DEFINATLY be worth it in the long run! Its not even so much as i dont want to be fat anymore.. I want to FEEL good again.. Right now i get winded easy and just feel like crap all the time. I dont want that anymore! ANd i know ill never be skinny again, but i can atleast be thinner than i am now, and healthy! Keep your chin up!

I know how you feel rysmommy, and I think we all feel like that sometimes. I think that willpower only gets you so far... we need to make changes that can turn into patterns and don't feel like this punishing challenge 24/7. Maybe you could make it a goal to make some small changes this week? For example, to eat more vegetables? Small steps will really add up and they will give you motivation to continue.

Here's the thread. It's about trying over and over and over .....

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=72763

Hey there rysmommy - I feel like you sometimes! Sometimes I feel like I have so far to go and I am never going to get there. And I also feel sometimes that I am overweight but not fat because I am in good shape and I am six foot tall so I think I weigh more than I actually look. Anyway - when I get down about losing weight (because I lose soooooooooo slowly) I just remind myself that I am eating healthy. My body feels better and this is a true lifestyle not just a diet.
You are doing great losing 21 pounds. Keep going and it just gets easier I promise.

Okay.... first, slow down, take a deep breath... now... go right ahead and have a "feel sorry for myself" day. That's fine, we all need one now and then. It's kind of like dessert. You need one every once and a while but you absolutely cannot have it every day.

Second, please don't give up. Look at your own tag line. Today is a new day. Yesterday is done, gone, ancient history. So you screwed up. It's done, let it die, and work on today. Tomorrow is coming whether you do anything about your weight today or not. You can't do anything to fix yesterday and you can't do anything about tomorrow, so just deal with today.

Third, yes, you are losing weight for yourself. Sure, the hubby and the kids are a consideration, and important ones - I want to drive my husband insane with lust, but it ain't the only reason I'm doing this. But consider this... you might weigh 220ish now and be healthy, but if you continue with this attitude, in ten years you'll be pushing 300 pounds with any number of serious health issues in your way. Then you will consider yourself "fat" and be less able to deal with it. You don't want to fight this problem while also dealing with diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart disease. (Case in point: at 25 I weighed about 230ish and was healthy. Now I'm 35, I weighed 290 in December, and I now have diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure... I nearly fainted trying to walk up two... only two flights of stairs one day.) How are you going to keep up with your kid like that? Are you going to let yourself drop dead when your kid is a teen?

Fourth, I'm going to be cruel for a second. I have failed every diet I have ever been on since I was 10 for one simple reason: I quit. I got whiny, poor me, it's too hard, I can't do it, why do I have to suffer, boo hoo.... I have to suffer because it's my own darn fault. I got this way because I allowed it to happen. I will undo it because I am in control of my behavior. I have learned that doing the same crap the same way as I've always done it (eating what I want and sitting on my big butt all day) have gained me nothing good - nothing but almost ten extra pounds a year. Changing my habits will change the results I get... changing your habits will change the results you get. Don't give up. Please don't give up!

Good luck!

-Lala

Hear hear. Great post Lala. So true! You can do this rysmommy, the key is just not giving up!!

susan- thanks for the link to that thread great info...

I realize I can do whatever i want to do if i just choose to do it i just don't know "what" it is I should be doing know what i mean? thanks for all of your encouragement, It really does bother me and I have headaches everyday because i can't stop thinking about what i should be eating or doing im constantly thinking about food and weight ect.. and my weight is something that has bothered me forever even when i was in shape! Maybe it's just a girl think who knows I know i can lose weight if i can just stick to something and who knows what that something is Sometimes i just get impatient and I shouldn't because im not even trying, it's all in my head i know im not stupid I am just lazy and give up to easily and I don't know why. futuresurferchick- I like your idea of setting a goal for the week maybe i will try that what do i have to lose but weight right?! I guess im just looking for that magic answer or pill and I know it's up to me im just complaining and feel lost there's way too many choices for diet and weightloss i wish there was just one way out~! thanks for the support if it wasn't for this board I wouldn't still be trying to do something about myself thank you all.

Here’s the thing with me.

I started my weight loss journey in October 2005 honestly I should be more then half way to goal but I’m not. I’ve only managed to lose 19lbs so far because I self sabotage as well. I will lose one week then go on a binge and gain some weight back.

I think the important thing is that I realized about the 3rd month that it was going to take me close to 2 years to get all the weight off. And that as long as I didn’t give up I’m okay. I’m learning good solid eating habits.

The important thing is that you treat this not as a diet but a lifestyle change. And changing you life can take a long time.

You have done great so far give yourself some credit!

Lala~ great response, I needed to hear that. I don't want to get any bigger and have more health problems i need to do this for myself, not just my family although they are a great motivation! Today is a new day and so far i've done good food wise i just need to get off my butt im spending way too much time here i have hardly any self control, And that's my problem i get too whiny and feel sorry for myself i need to snap out of it and get it together im better than this! I just wish there was an easy way out i wish someone could tell me exactly what to eat when how much what to do workout wise ect.. to get me where i need to be, but i know that's not going to happen it just all gives me a headache i just get sick of thinking about it all the time i want to live a day without worrying about what im eating or what im wearing because i look too fat in it i want to just live! And for some reason i can't figure out why i can't just do that why can't i just be happy with myself?! I don't know if im even going to be happy when i get to my goal weight? i just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I just want to do it get it over with already but what is it?! I give myself a dang headache...

You might do well to look at a diet that gives you lists of what to eat instead of say counting calories or points. Something more flexible like weight watchers core, or the whole foods diet. Something with some pretty simple guidelines. And you might try looking at dishes you make at home regularly and look for ways to reduce the fat and calorie content and increase the nutritional value. Like spagetti made with high fiber noodles and ground turkey instead of regular pasta and ground beef. Maybe get used to lower fat cheeses and milk as well. Little things add up quick as far as calories and fat goes. Just some ideas. I think we all struggle with this from time to time.

Another thing i did was just NOT buy the junkfood that i know i would eat if it was in my house. If i dont eat it, i dont want my son eating it. Its about making a lifestyle change. Making HEALTHIER choices, if im only allowing myself 1200ish calories a day then i better make it good right?
Ciarra said used Ground turkey, such a good idea! I dont buy ground beef anymore. I used to buy the lean one and its still pretty bad for you. Ground turkey is so much better for you. And i use lowfat cheeses and stuff too, so i can still HAVE that stuff, but im moderation and i dont feel guilty. I found this 2% milk craft mild chedder cheese thats really good. Its got 80 calories in 1/4 cup. I top sandwiches with about 1-2 tablespoons of it and stuff like that. And i only drink skim milk too. So far its worked for me, and im not really depriving myself from anything (Aside from alot of red meat which isnt good for you anyway.. ive never been much of a red meat fan anyway which is good..). Ooh and i LOVE pita bread now! 1/2 pocket is 90 calories, instead of 180 or so for 2 slices of bread, so i make sandwiches out of that instead. I love the taste! WEll anyway..
I find just not having the worst options in my house helps alot. I cant go sneaking junk food, and that way i dont have to worry as much about counting calories, because i KNOW its not that bad for me, you know what i mean? I hope this helps you a little bit. I know how stressful this can be.. ive struggled with my weight all my life and im just now figuring out all the mistakes ive made over the years!

Great advice...make sure it is ground turkey BREAST though because the regular 93/7 ground turkey has skin and is about the same nutrients as lean beef.

Don't worry...you'll get things together. We are here for you.