Hello APRIL!

don't ask me what a belly dancer has to do with anything, I just never used that icon before. heh heh.

Aimee, I leave for Washington DC April 12. I'd be interested to hear about the Thai food calories. Thai food seems a lot healthier to me, I kind of assume that the calories are lower, I don't know that for a fact at all, heh. I was completely exhausted yesterday. After gym, Rob and I went to the park for a while then I came home and slept. I hate to say it, but I have had food poisoning a bunch of times (NY restaurants, yuck, at least the bad ones), and I know it's not pretty. Think 7up and broth for a few days. maybe crackers.

I actually had trouble a couple of days past my friend going getting back on my eating program (Thurs and Friday). Today really is the first day I've really been a lot better (yesterday was not good). I find it way easier to exercise than to keep the calories down. (Jen, I don't even want to tell you how long it took me to get into an exercise routine. I sure didn't think that was easy.)

Yeah for you, Jill. So you're actually getting feedback pretty fast. I bet your boss is in her office doing a happy dance that she made such a good choice. Boredom is not good. It makes people go postal and fun things like that.

Have a good night, and don't forget to set your clocks forward. (I hate losing an hour, GRRR).

Oh, oops - I created a thread for April literally 11 minutes before you. I am going to go tell a mod to delete it

Hello ladies!

Taking a break from packing, Sam's doing some reading for a class at work and I need to be quiet. I can't wait until we're in the new house! Way more space than we have now (our duplex is a ranch style and about 950 sq ft). Lexi is doing everything she can to have one of us play fetch with her, she's not understanding that we are moving... she just sniff's the boxes and looks at me like I'm ******ed! Darn dog's, why can't they be more human somtimes!?

Why does it get so hard to lose weight? The first 60 pounds came off so easy, and it's taken forever to get to where I'm at now. I'm still so far from where I want to be and it just dosen't change. I try to work out harder, or change my routine, or eat different but nothing seems to be doing it. Not even a pound or two. I'm just so frusterated with it.

Jill: I'm doing 401K also, I contribute 6% so I get the most additional compensation from my employer. At 3% they wouldn't kick anything in.

Marge: I would love to go on vacation! I'm just a little jealous of you and Aimee too, for getting away from life for a while! The cherry blossoms don't open in Door County (the most popular area in WI for cherries) until the beginning of May.

Well, I suppose I should get back to work...

TTYL

Sara

Man, it's gorgeous today! After the gym I went to the park and watched the little leaguers play for a while.

Sara, if Lexi were a cat, she'd be climbing in all the boxes. Chloe loves to knock my suitcase off the bed, that always makes it fun to pack, heh heh.

I know losing weight for me is really slow, I have backslides (like the 3 days with my friend, and I'm sure Washington won't be a dieting experience). And I will have a couple of weeks where I do well, then get a little off track. It seems like it only takes being a little off track to slow the loss. Maybe after 60 lbs your body needs to adjust to that loss.

Hey, if all else fails, you can try a personal trainer.

Jill, I think that Caligula movie was produced by Bob Guccione (the Penthouse baron) as an attempt to get into movie making. Hey, being confident in your own body, no matter what size or shape it is, can be very very sexy. It always seems to me that women are much harder on themselves and the way their bodies look than most guys are.

Gotta go for dinner! have a great one, everybody.

Hey all!! It's a slightly gloomy day here in Seattle, no rain yet though!

Jill - I know EXACTLY how you feel, I have qualm's about watching porn, I'd rather watch the Gilmore Girls, but often if you are the only girl.. you end up seeing some naked chicks. I definitely feel ashamed of how I look, you have to remind yourself.. real girls don't look like that. Also, those girls wouldn't have a great man like Jeff to help you do dishes, do laundry.. those day to day things that makes being in a relationship worth it. You wouldn't want the life that goes along with looking like that... An interesting point is.. I find I get more depressed with how I look when I'm not working at it. Clearly quite a few of us need to get refocused, myself included.. it's been a free for all here the past couple days.. You'll get there!

Marge - sometimes our bodies need a vacation from dieting, so consider what you are doing food for the soul I think dieting is like everything else, like running, you actually make better leeway if you take a day off here and there. If that makes sense. Enjoy the days off... guilt free!

Sara - I haven't even lost 60 pounds yet.. maybe 13! Those were hard to lose, I hope it gets easier, I seem to fight with every damn pound. It's odd, I've been working out 1.5 hours a day most days, and I normally stay around 1600 calories, less than 20% fat.. yet the moment I have one bite of bread, I don't drop a pound. It's frustrating as ****.. I am coming along very nicely with fitness stuff.. but I wanna weigh less! heh.. I guess we all struggle in different ways..

Well, I should go for my run, I am procrastinating. I know I'll feel better afterwards... so I'm off to find some shoes and socks!

-Aimee

Aimee--I'd rather watch Gilmore Girls, too! I LOVE that show! I guess it's really a guys v. girls thing on the porn issue. I would assume that most women aren't as into it, and I think it's because we aren't as visually-oriented as men. I'd much rather read a romantic story than watch some [likely disease-infested and/or surgically enhanced] perverts go at it on-screen, but I think most men would prefer the opposite--they'd rather not have to do the extra work of using their imagination

I dunno...Jeff has NEVER done or said anything to make me feel bad about myself--I know it's something I bring upon myself. Plus, I feel so bad afterwards because I know he doesn't fully understand--no amount of explanation will ever really be enough for him to really know what I go through on a daily basis in my own head I'm working on it, but it's really hard. I think part of the difficulty is that I don't have any female friends to girl talk with around here. I joined a group of women who meet for dinners and movies and stuff a couple times a month, but the group is so large (a few hundred members) that there are different people there every time, and talking to someone for an hour over dinner and then never seeing them again isn't really conducive to building lasting relationships I'm thinking of taking a design class next semester, and it would be at night, so hopefully there will be other people my age in a similar situation that I can meet.

Sara--you may have said already, but when do you get to move? I HATE packing, but I do get excited about moving into a new place (not the carrying and moving and packing and transporting part, but the new space to organize and decorate and make my own part).

Marge--that Penthouse guy, that explains it. Not much of an attempt at real movie-making as I would say there were naked people in at least 80% of the scenes I have always been confident in my abilities, my personality, and my overall worthiness, I guess, but NEVER in my body. I think something that is instilled in us at such a young age (being made fun of in grade school for being fat) is much harder to shake because it's all we've ever known.

Hope Kimberley finds her way here to the new thread soon!

How've you been doing, Arzu? Been a while since we heard from you

Oh, I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I broke up with Jeff (we had a big screaming match over who knows what, and I dumped him) and then started seeing this guy I dated for like a month in high school. I haven't seen this guy since my junior year of high school, so who knows how he ended up in my dream I think the dream in general, though, has to do with that I tried to talk to Jeff about why I felt so uncomfortable during the movie, and he is very quick to change the subject. He's not much of a serious talker. Ahh, boys...can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em

Yeah, the grade school teasing was tough for me. I don't even think mine was as intense as some kids get teased nowadays. In high school I thought body image was a huge deal too. I had a good friend who became bulemic in college.

Rob tends to think I'm too sensitive about my weight (with the outside world). I think I've gotten overly sensitive after having people be rude and judgmental to me again and again.

This is the first time in my life I can picture myself as being a normal weight one day. I admit that it does seem far away, especially at the pace I'm going. It seems like there are some women at 3fc who just plow through the weight loss, and stick to their eating plans like glue. Rob says I just need to commit to it in my mind and do what I have to do. Wish I could make that brain connection, sometimes I lean too much towards the instant gratification.

On the bright side, the last two days were much better for me eating wise. I was out in the park yesterday and I kept thinking "hot dog" and "ice cream". I stuck to my little bag of trail mix and made it home safely, heh heh.

It's a gloomy day here today. I'm exhausted too, the cat started waking us up at 3am, then I couldn't get back to sleep. I hate that. She's hyper today too, maybe because of the storm.

Hi ladies! My first post in April! And it is long.....

On the weight loss front, as I expected, I did not lose this week. It is typical to have little or no loss in the second and third weeks on a liquid diet. I probably would have lost SOMETHING had I been 100% on plan. But that is another story, my dears...

I want to address the porn issue. We all know that porn is produced mainly for enjoyment by men. And unless a man has a particular "preference" of seeing curvier bodies, he will most likely view mainstream stuff with thin gals with surgically enhanced breasts (unless of course, they have a "preference" for women who are all natural, but I digress...). IT DOES NOT MEAN that he does not desire his partner. I think we women put too much pressure on ourselves to be just like what they see on the screen or the page.

Unless a man has a particular religious or moral issue with porn, it is a pretty safe bet that he views it in one form or another. The internet has really made this accessible. Men are visually stimulated, as opposed to women, who are more stimulated by touch. Men look at naked chicks because...well...that's what they do.

If it bothers you that your partner views porn, talk to him about it. Tell him why it bothers you. I'm sure you will find that he will reassure you that you are beautiful and sexy and have nothing to worry about. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to body image issues.

That all being said: IF a partner replaces "real life" intimacy with his partner with porn....well, that is a whole different animal. That is an addiction.

Okay enough about that.....see you gals around!

Sorry for the double post!

I know Jeff looks at porn (though lord knows when since we're always home together now that I leave for work a bit later), but it doesn't bother me. I think it was the sitting there WITH him while watching those girls, ya know? I don't know--for some reason, watching it just really got to me. I have told him that I don't care if he watches whatever on his computer, as long as he does it when I'm not around. Like you said, if it ever comes down to him sitting at his computer with porn INSTEAD of being with me, THEN it is a problem

Jen--I forgot to mention in my previous woe-is-me post that I finally found some EAS AdvantEdge shakes! I got a 4-pack each of the strawberry and the chocolate fudge and had one of each today. They taste really good in the first couple sips till the aftertaste kicks in, but they're still WAY better than the Atkin's shakes! And almost half the calories of the Slim Fast shakes! I will have to go buy more--they were $4.99 per 4-pack, so that's not too bad.

Oh, and also not mentioned in my woe-is-me post is that I went to Lane Bryant this weekend. I bought a really cute pair of aqua-colored capris in a 22 and didn't try them on because Jeff was waiting for me in Borders. I brought them home and expected them to fit but be a little tight, but they weren't tight at all! I also got a new shirt for work and a black sweater (I picked it up because sweaters and capris wer all buy one get one half off, but when I got to the register, she told me it didn't count as a sweater. Umm, hello, it's got long sleeves, a v-neck, and is a cardigan style with a clasp in the front--how is that NOT a sweater?!). I also needed a strapless bra for my sister's wedding, so I bought 2 since they were also buy one get one half off (for real this time). They are padded, so they actually make it look likeI have boobs--it's SO exciting! They have straps (they're both convertible bras), but I am wearing one without the straps today even though I don't have to. I just like that it gives the illusion that I have a chest

Jill: Glad you found the AdvantEdge! Did you buy the Carb Control ones? They taste much better than the others!

And cool about your capris!! I wear capris year round here in Florida....I rarely if ever wear closed toe shoes either! It just isn't cold enough!

Hey! Josh left this morning, and now I'm back to being lonely.. Not only that, but I got on the scale this morning, and since I ate late last night I am showing a 1 pound gain. I am going to accept this and work double hard to get it all of this week. According to my scale yesterday I had lost .4 of a pound. This is of course because Josh was here all week, man it's hard to diet with a boy who wants to eat Taco Bell 24/7! I will miss him though.

I am refocussing here! No eating past 7pm, NO eating out at ALL, no soft drinks, and I'm recommiting myself to eat 5-6 mini meals. Also, only allowing myself wheat products every 3rd day! Anyone with me?

Jill - I don't care if Josh watches porn, I want to see what kinds he's looking at.. just to make sure it's nothing freaky.. heh. I've told him that he needs to continue to make moves on me.. even if I shoot him down. heh. Weird arrangements we have.. but it works for us. I have the same shakes as you, I have the low carb ones, I got french vanilla, aka, tastes like *** vanilla. I was thinking of blending some strawberries in.. see if it makes it taste a tiny bit better. I was also in Lane Bryant this weekend, I did not have the luck you did.. although that cardigan sounds very cute, I didn't see it. I was searching their bra section for a sports bra.. I think I saw your bra! Gotta love a nice fitting bra, they can change your body shape really..

Jen - capri's year around? Sounds like heaven to me!! I am absolutely addicted to capri's and sandles, I wear them as much as I can.

Speaking of which, I am buying a new pair of capris this week.. I can't remember if I've told my little story yet.. I'll do it again! heh. Josh and I searched every GAP we could find for these black capri's in an XL, we FINALLY found them, and I went to try them on. They were too big!! Unfortunately they didn't have a large, so we are ordering it from their website this week. My current capri's are getting a little big. Altho, I did my measurements again today, and most of my weight came off my bust, 1 inch lost, and my "gut"/hips/lower roll, where I lost half an inch. I didnt expect to lose any inches after my 1 pound gain on the scale, but I'm continuing to tone up.

Marge - hot dog sounds yummy, heh. Good for you for sticking to what you had with you, it's SO hard.. I ususally can't! I don't know what those people have who just stick on plan and lose consistantly, I really wish I did though. I guess it's a lot of hard work, and focus. I think breaking it down meal by meal, workout by workout helps a LOT, it's easy to get overwhelmed by the big picture. There is no quick fix, and you have to put aside instant gratification, or at least find other ways to fulfill that. I find that I'm SO determined with this running thing that I'm going out when I don't want to, and have an excuse not to, and it's easy to measure success. Everytime I go out it gets a little easier, I go a little farther. I'm sure NY has 10k walks you can sign up for.. I have a great training program (for walking) which you could follow. Having that focus on getting your body stronger might help.

I'm a little down today, I woke up just before noon, which I HATE doing. And after spending about 45 minutes reading and such in the bedroom I came out to make breakfast, only my brother was still sleeping. He packed up and went to the bedroom to sleep more, and is still sleeping at 1:30pm. It makes for a gloomy feeling in the house. Not only that, but my bro has a new gf, which is fine and dandy, but he's just started spending more time with her, which now leaves me to spend more time alone. And I was only seeing him sometimes 4 hours a day, and sometimes not at all. I am just complaining.. it just feels worse now that Josh is gone. I know I'm very lucky to have this time off, but I spend my days on the internet, or watching movies (repeat movies). I control my time to an extent, but I don't know what to do with myself. This city isn't safe for a girl who doesn't know which way is up, also, you really do need a car to get to most places. K, someone slap me.. I'm complaining too much..

I am off to try and think positive thoughts!

-Aimee

Hi girls!

I'm loving that it's so light out at night after work now! Yipee! summer's almost here!

Jill - We close on the house April 21st. Were doing the cleaning, painting, and box/small stuff moving the last week in April and doing the big stuff move on the 30th. My dad has a large enclosed car trailer that he's going to use to help us. We should get that done in one trip. Then back to the duplex to clean it up one last time and leave the keys! I'm getting excited about it, keep having weird dreams about the house... on my mind too much maybe?!

Gotta get back to work now... too busy!

Wow, where IS everyone? It's nearly noon over here and I'm the second person to post? Seems a little crazy!!

Sara - I am totally loving the light as well! Today it feels like summer is already here, it's SO sunny and nice out! I have a slight face tan from all my running, ahh summer.. heh.. I enjoy moving, it's a little sick. I would prefer to hire people clean the old place though, there are so many little details I forget, or would choose NOT to do! heh.

So I went for a 90 min walk yesterday in my training for my 10k, I can sorta feel it today. Mostly it's a little tiredness, it was an impressive walk though! I feel I'm almost ready for that 10k, although I realllly want to run at least half of it! So today I am going for my run. I am vowing to be better with my diet this week, so far so good, yesterday was a little bad, I ate dinner at 8:30pm.

Well, I am off.. I'll ttyl!

-Aimee