Hello all

I don't know about you but I think one of the reasons that I have so many issues with food is because I have always had this feeling that I had to be perfect. I was a great student in school, got along well with my parents, good athlete, etc...just always a little overweight...then quite a bit overweight, etc...

But I think what I/we have to realize is that it's ok if we are not perfect.

It's ok if we don't eat according to our "perfect" plan...

It's ok if I we can't control everything (how the kids act, how clean the house is, how inconsiderate DH is, etc...)

It's ok if we go over our calorie limit by 60 calories...

It's ok if we eat chocolate...

Right now this is easier for me to say because I am feeling in control about my feelings for food more than I have in a while but I know it won't always be this way because the binging thoughts will come back soon enough...but at least I can come back to this post and realize - IT'S OK TO NOT BE PERFECT!

I think you just summed up how many of us feel about perfection. It is funny because I know I'm being absurd about trying to be perfect sometimes, but I can't seem to stop that from coming out of my personality. Sometimes it would be pure bliss to just be able to sit and relax and not worry about all the things that haven't gotten done.

i can totally relate to that. i have been working so hard recently with this very issue. i'm never going to be as perfect as i want to be. i cause myself so much un-needed stress just trying to get to that perfect place. glad to hear there is someone else out there with this same issue.

I can also relate to this. Once I started to accept my *flaws* and (still working on this one) loving my self, I found it easier to welcome the not so perfect days. In school the pressure to be "perfect" was crazy, and I had always thought that I was back then. I think now that I am accepting that NO ONE is perfect that I am getting a better grip on my self and binge eating.

OMG story of my life. I was always the "model child", I even was the first person in my family to go off to college. When i came home for christmas break everyone was so happy because I dropped 30 pounds, no one could guess that at school I was starving myself. When I got back here this semester me and my boyfriend broke up, and since then I have been on and off binging and starving myself. It has been complete ****. I try to realize that I am not perfect and I never will be.. however I can't help but look in the mirror and think I am so much more beautiful when I dont eat.. Its a real problem. Ugh.

I can so relate to all of you....I always was a model child, bride, mother, etc. I still feel like I have not achieved due to my weight- I am a perfectionist to the core, my house, my lawn, my children, my clothes, hair, car, everything! I even took an on-line survey-"Which deperate housewife are you?" Guess what? I am Bree! Surprise!

Just this week alone I am going to WW, Curves, tanning, going to have my teeth whitened and getting a new set of colored contacts for Spring.

JEEZ....


Highest weight 209
Today's weight 159
Goal 150

I too have come to realize that I am no longer striving to be perfect. I want to be at a healthy weight and not stand out in a crowd from being so large. I don't aim to look rail thin. I am getting happier and happier with myself just the way I am right now. I have even considered increasing my goal weight to 150 instead of 145 but for some reason this makes me feel like a failure. Has anyone else had this problem. I started at 234 and just really didn't know how good I'd feel when I hit the 150's because I hadn't been there in such a long time. Any responses would be welcome.

This "perfect" thing...

I was moaning yesterday that I ate 2 creme eggs and a chocolate bar and DF (bless him!) said, "That's ok, that's NORMAL!" I'm thinking uh-uh NO WAY is 3 chocolate bars in a day normal! NOPE not in my world, heck no! But maybe, in his, because we'd been walking miles yesterday that he COULD eat 3 chocolate bars in the day and still be "normal". I envy him, he has a "normal" relationship with food. If he's not hungry, he doesn't eat!

So today I've decided to relax a bit, and not strive to eat "clean" or even strictly! I've had 2 chocolate hob nobs (cookies), I've got a creme egg sitting in the fruit bowl... BUT I don't think I want it! Perhaps if I can sort this out on unstructured days I'll be making some progress. At the moment it's 5 steps forward, about 10 back!

I do sometimes feel that if I have a cookie, or a chocolate bar, or a dessert after dinner, then I've blown it because the day hasn't been "perfect". I think I need to screw up more often but in smaller quantities! I'm going to see how those cookies on my desk affect my weekend!

Emily, what a great post... thank you!
It's only this year that I've come to the same realization. In the past, if I wasn't "perfect", I attached the word "failure" to myself. And I'd quit whatever it was I'd "failed".
Now I know that when I take some little (or even a big) deviation from my plans, I'm okay! I'm only human, and I'm doing the best I can. And I'm not a quitter!

I can relate.My homelife wasn't as"perfect"as I thought when I look back on it.I did so-so in School even though I could of applied myself more and I always had weight issues.I always felt I"had"to be skinny which some class as"perfect"to feel/be accepted even by Family(who can be our worst critic)which were one of mine.Family was more concerned about me losing weight then how well I did in School.At age 9 an Aunt I only saw once per year(even if then)told me she was going to put me on a diet.An elderly Woman I adopted as a Grandmother the first words out of her mouth,"I'm going to put you on a diet".How did she intend to do that when she was in a Nursing Home??A Cousin telling me if you lose weight I'll take you to the movies,swimming,shopping with me blah blah blah then as an Adult the Aunt who wanted to put me on Diet told me no Man would ever want me unless I weighed 120 and wore short skirts.I would like to know how her Daughter who is both big and tall has managed to marry 3 times and have 2 Children.Someone must of wanted her!Because of all this I've often felt out of control and constantly worried about being"perfect"whatever that is!