I got an email today that I didn't know what to make of. A few years ago I started a weight loss board because some friends of mine (online friends) urged me to. I haven't always been as gung ho about dieting as I was when I started the board, and those friends have since stopped posting. I would have closed the board down a long time ago, but I kept having people join (who also never post) and some who did post. So I kept it going rather than abandon it.

I have a journal there where I write about my daily struggles, progress, lack of progress or whatever.

Anyway today someone wrote to me told me she has been reading my journal (I have no idea who she is, since she never posts, but I assume she is a member on the board), tells me that my posts could have been written by her, that we have the same issues. Then tells me she thinks we are pathetic and then she says "I don't want to be like you anymore."

I mean wow, talk about a slap in the face! How rude can you get?

This whole weight loss journey is a struggle. It isn't a war I have been consistently winning, but I think I've been doing really well since getting back on plan at the beginning of the year. I could certainly understand someone saying that to me a year or two ago when I started falling so far from what I wanted to be doing, but NOW? People are just too weird sometimes.

Sherry,

It's one thing to identify with another person but it is totally different to label them because you feel a certain way!

That is absolutely a cruel and stupid thing to write to someone. If anything this person should appreciate the fact you are trying to make a difference. Afterall, weight loss is a life long journey!!

That is absolutely terrible!!!

people can be soooo mean sometimees.

please dont let her insensitivity get to you. You are doing so great!!

Sherry, PLEASE do not let this anonymous know-nothing get to you. You are doing great and are doing a service for others who share in our struggles. If they are too blind to see that, who needs em?

that was totally un-called for. No matter what her meaning, just delete it, ban her addie if you have to and KNOW that you are doing a darn good job and that it is WONDERFUL being you so she doesn't know what she's missing!!


Lacey

Thats pretty rude. I'd ignore her if I were you. We all know what a GREAT job you are doing. Just keep it up and don't let one person who doesn't even know you get you down.

I'm slightly more vindictive, I'd post her letter on your forum-minus email address and names and invite comments from your other readers. All in the name of stimulating a discussion of course, about how we feel about ourselves in general.

I would think about replying with a note about how you are not pathetic but you understand how she would feel that way about herself. And how glad you are that you are not like her at all. Then I'd sit on the email and probably not mail it at all because I don't like conflict.

as good as that make someone feel momentarily i don't know if its the best way to approach the situation. It may just initiate more mean emails and more hurt feels.

just my two cents.

Ya know, I think people say these things to make themselves feel better, no matter the expense.. and those, to me, are truly the saddest people out there. She knew she didn't have to 'say that' to you. She could have come to that conclusion (if that really is a valid one) and kept her thoughts to herself. Seems she just wanted to say it to boost herself higher, in her own mind.

I look forward to your posts, Sherry. The struggles you post, humanize you even more.. I know there is a kindred spirit behind your words and i'm happy to know you.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the kind comments. It really kind of threw me yesterday. I wasn't even sure why she would write that.

One comment I did think of writing back to her was "I wouldn't worry about that, I am NOTHING like you, because I would never say something so cruel to someone."

I didn't. And I deleted the letter this morning. It was just weird the way it was written. She even included "if you don't want to hear what I have to say don't read any further" type comment.

Anyway, from feeling pretty good about myself (lately) it could have easily cast me into a depression and a desire to give up. It didn't. In fact I was a little amused by it. As I thought about it later, I thought that she must really hate herself. Must really be harsh on herself if she is so harsh on someone else, someone she may feel like SHE knows, but someone who really doesn't know her at all. I guess that might be the worst of it all. That I've been posting and expressing the struggle all along, and I have no idea that such cruel people could be reading it.

The thing of it is, the name she gave sounded familiar, she may have been one of the early joiners who used to post but hasn't for a very long time. Someone I've almost completely forgotten about. It is weird about these boards that people will join them and never post on them. Why they would even want to receive emails in their in box and never contribute anything I can't understand. A weight loss board doesn't do you any good if you aren't an active participant. My board is an MSN board, and you can elect to come to the board to read, or you can have the letters come to your inbox.

I went looking for her name among the member list, and it wasn't there. So maybe she quit, or maybe she is using another name. Anyway thanks you guys. I value your input.

There are some people at there who make themselves feel better by pushing others down. Sort of the crabs in a bucket type thing, just as one gets to the top the others grab ahold and pull it back down.

It could be something like that or someone who just doesn't have a clue how to relate to people in general.

You are doing wonderful and don't let a strange person's writings get you down-I know that's easier said then done. Keep focusing on the positive.

Sarah

People like her are why God put the delete key on the computer keyboard.

Ignore it and don't let it get to you. She'll get hers -- they always do.

Just to add a few cents in to this conversation is that the founders of this wonderful board also get hate mail. and I have heard that some of it is very cruel. I do know that they do ignore it but though it is hurtful and wish that you could be just as nasty many people do not think before they write. if you read suzanes and jennifers journal both have had struggles and both have had times where they have gained weight. nd rest assured until this person learnes to accept herself and love herself she is NOT going to lose the weight she has to lose and she is just striking out at the one person she can. sorry you have to get that just chalk it up to one of those things like getting porn in your in box. DELETE and think of those that you are helping with the forum.

they get hate mail???!!! I'd be LOST without this board, I can't imagine people sending hate mail because of it, oh my!!!