Over in the 100lb club last week I posted a distress thread because I was tired and exhausted. It suddenly dawned on me yesterday, when replying to a poster here that didn't have enough time for exercise, that it's my schedule that's making me exhausted.

Here is a typical day in the life of Kylie
5.45 am get up, shower, dress
6.00 breakfast and 3FC
7.00 start the journey to work
9.00 arrive and start work
13.00 lunch (1 hour)
17.00 leave work
18.30 arrive at gym
19.55 leave gym and get bus
20.30 make dinner
22.00 go to bed

My dh is getting increasingly frustrated that he never sees me. I feel really tired a lot of the time, the weekends are still really busy because I have to do all the things I don't do during the week. Something has to give.

When I started this journey I was in an entry level position in my company. I worked Noon - 8pm shifts, which were a lot better for me in terms of lifestyle. Although I was getting home later, I felt I had more time, as I had a block in the morning to do my exercise.

Now I have a promotion, but it's fixed hours 9-5 with one 10 - 6 a week. The work is more interesting, it's less stressful, and I really love my job, but I hate the hours, and it's not helping me to lose weight.

I am strongly considering demoting myself.

Any suggestions?

There is one other thing I can do. We have a scheme at work called BOL - balancing one life - where you can apply for flexibile hours. My proposal would be to do 5 x 8 - 6 shifts in a two week period, and then 5 x 2pm - 6pm or 1 - 5 shifts per week. The only thing is I have already been told by my manager that my work place is at capacity for these sort of flexible arrangements, and that my request would be turned down by the head of department.

My health and well being is more important than my job, but I don't want to completely shoot myself in the career foot.

But if I keep going on like this, I'm not going to be able to sustain it.

Can you do gym at lunch 5 days a week?? Then only have a couple of after work gym visits? I have a similar problem since I'm out 3 nights a week till 9pm and usually Saturday morning.

Kylie, I know exactly how you feel, because I have a similar problem. I work 10-12 hr days as standard, and fitting everything else in is a real headache. However, I'll try and give you some concrete suggestions, rather than just sympathy.

Is there any possibility that you could make some of the following amendments to your schedule?:

Your shedule:
5.45 am get up, shower, dress
6.00 breakfast and 3FC
7.00 start the journey to work
9.00 arrive and start work
13.00 lunch (1 hour)
17.00 leave work
18.30 arrive at gym
19.55 leave gym and get bus
20.30 make dinner
22.00 go to bed

Proposed shedule: (Mon; Wed; Fri)
5.45 am get up, non-gym exercise (walking, jogging, rebounding, exercise dvd etc)
6.45 shower, dress
7.00 start the journey to work
9.00 arrive and start work. Eat fruit and cereal at your desk (or on the bus if you can't wait that long!).
13.00 lunch (1 hour) - 30 mins 3FC whilst you eat lunch; 30 mins walking to freshen up for the afternoon
17.00 leave work
19.00 arrive home and cook dinner
22.00 go to bed

On Tuesdays and Thursdays you could go to the gym, and still do your long swims at the weekends, but because you'd have three free evenings your weekends should be less busy, and you'd have more time to see Colin.

I don't know whether any of my suggestions are workable, but maybe they could make a tiny bit of difference.

Good luck! And don't forget, your health and wellbeing and relationships are the most important things - all the rest is just window dressing in comparison.

Take care

Janey

A 2 hour commute? Argh...Other than finding a job a lot closer to home, I don't really have any suggestions, just a big

Mel

You have always had my admiration but honey WOW! renewed respect.

Kylie, did you know that in the UK from 1st April to 8th September sunrise is no later than 5.46am, and sunset is no earlier than 18.38pm.

That means that you could have 161 days (including weekends) when you could potentially exercise in the open air either before or after work without recourse to a gym. You could do walks, hikes, bike rides, jogs, power walks, kayak rides, skipping sessions etc in the lovely British sunshine (!) - and all in the company of your hubby if he's at all activity-inclined.

I know you love your gym sessions, but in summer you may be able to find a less constricting schedule which would enable you to exercise AND spend quality time with your hubster.

Just a thought. Hope you don't think I'm interfering!

Janey

I am looking forward to summer, because we will do more in the open air (when I can drag him away from the pub!!!)

And I'll be able to run before work some mornings, as you have suggested. I need to think creatively around it a bit more, which is why I posted here, coz I knew there would be some fab ideas, like yours, Dippy.

The commuting is just dead time. It never used to bother me the year I did it before I started working on my weight, as it was my relaxation time, and I read a book or listened to music, but now I have stuff I would rather be doing!!!!!

Ky How about moving closer to your work or perhaps looking around for another job? Or maybe you could arrange a 'date' with your DH once or twice a week and he meet you from work and you travel home together stopping for dinner during the journey, that way you would get to talk to each other. Also, is there a possibility that DH would join you in the gym and/or perhaps take over some of the housework/cooking side of things so your dinner is ready when you get in and you get a good rest at the weekend?

You can't carry on with those hours. You aren't getting enough rest/relaxation and 8.30 is much to close to bedtime for you to digest your dinner properly. Perhaps you could cut down on the 3FC stuff before work and get another 30 mins sleepy time and then perhaps get in a 30 minutes walk at lunchtime (or is there a pool close enough for you to get in a 30 minutes swim?)

Or - if all else fails - how about working part time for a while?

Thanks Sarah. Moving closer to work isn't really an option. I love where we live, its gorgeous, there are lots of walks to do at weekends, we have made friends finally, and I feel really settled. Looking for job a bit closer is something I will start doing. I don't really want to leave where I am now, but I can't keep going on like this.

We do sometimes travel back together, but lately thought it was better if I went straight to gym and then get home before 9. DH is very good at housework, but cooking is not his forte, so I do that bit. But he's good at getting something for himself if I just want something easy when I get in from the gym.

I haven't done any craftwork, or fun stuff for ages, everything seems to be work and exercise which is getting me down.

No pools in Salford nearby, but there's always the canal (not an option BTW - it's cold and polluted!!!!)

I can't really drop to part time, we haven't got room financially for that to happen - although we have looked at it. The flexibile working hour option would be ideal, and I do think that if I don't get it and threaten to resign, they may be prepared to offer it to me.

I'm feeling a lot better about it now. I don't want to do anything drastic employment wise until After my holiday to Oz in June, then I will do a massive rethink.

Hi Kylie,

You so sound like me this time last year (but better!)- I was absolutely exhausted and finding that work was taking over everything in my life. I used to lave the house at 7 and be back at 7, be on the road seeing customers all day and be drained. I was in bed by 21:30 every night and although I really wanted to exercise I didn't have the time or energy to do it.

I decided something had to give and it was work (obviously, when you think about things) I handed my notice in (not that I'd recommend such drastic action), and a customer offered me a job 5 minutes from home. I do all kinds of things that I didn't do before that are actually just the basic stuff- cook, clean before the house is a pit, go to the gymn before and after work and find time to chat to people. My relationship's gone from strength to strength.

I took a 2 grand drop in salary but have made that up now by getting a payrise based on my skills in my new job, but when I look in the local papers there are loads of things that I could do and I'm sure it would be the same for you if that's what you chose.

Good luck in whatever you decide- at least you're looking at things consciously rather than getting sucked into a downward spiral.

I'm with Mel - it's the commute, which likely is non-negotiable . I assume you're taking the bus/train? Is there any way to cut it down, i.e. driving or carpooling? I did a 60-90 minute commute (each way) for over 20 years, and once I stopped I realized how much it was sucking the joy out of my life! I don't have any suggestions that haven't been mentioned, but you have all of my sympathies.

Kylie!

Is the commuting completely non-negotiable? Two hours each way is quite horrible. (And I do agree with Sarah Ann about not enough time to digest your food.)

I remember once you said something about walking in the early morning. Was that an alternative (summer?) way of getting part of the way there? Would it make sense to do that again?

You've seen and experienced Salford Quays now so you can die happy! There's bound to be something interesting, well-paid, challenging (and all that jazz) nearer home.

Glad you're taking control of the situation. That's the way to go!

I will walk (or run) some of the way in summer, it's still too damp dark and dangerous at the moment.

I can't drive due to my mild cerebral palsy, hence the commute. I've tried the whole carpooling thing, but no one seems to want to do it, which is a shame. I'm going to try again to get some interest up, there has to be a few people from our area that go there. Of course all my friends are commuters coz I never see anyone else!!!!

Thanks everyone for your help, I'll sit down and write a schedule over the weekend, and start looking for alternatives in the work front too.

Could you cycle some of the way? How far is it?

I'm considering cycling to work some days, when I get my road bike!

Um it's 16 miles!!! And the only safe way to road cycle is through the mean streets of Salford, which might mean your not run over by a lorry, but you could possibly be mugged or worse!!!

Cycling into Bury would be ideal, but I can't think of anywhere to safely leave a bike without it being nicked!