Hi, I'm in need of your help.

I'm on Wellbutrin, which is helping me with my binge eating disorder, and thus helping me stay on my healthy eating plan. It helps me get through the day - albeit spaced out, but nevertheless not suicidal.

But here's the problem - once night time hits, I'm paranoid as heck. I've not been able to sleep in my basement suite alone anymore...I sleep with my mom. I can't be alone at night because I get vivid horrific images...and I feel I'm being watched all the time. I can't look down halls.

I know it's all illogical - just figments of my paranoid mind. But I can't control the emotions of fear.

I don't know what to do. Wellbutrin is the only med that I've tried that works for me...all the others my body can't handle.

What would you do?

Much appreciated.

ok this is weird i know i posted a reply to you an hour ago. what is going on with the posting???

ok it still hasn't appeared so i will try to remember what i wrote

ok here goes

1. are the night fears new i.e. have they started since you started wellbutrin or is this an ongoing issue for you?
2. have you talked to anyone about this? without knowing all the facts it sounds like you have described some form of anxiety (which is a little different to paranoia) and it's possible that cognitive therapy or meds may be helpful. if you haven't done so already i suggest you talk to your doc/psych about this as it could be something that you can get help with

also - does it help you to leave the light on or music while you sleep?
have you tried sleeping with a pet or something else that makes you feel more secure???

i think it is a positive step that you know it's illogical. the more that you can debate it and see that the fear is not based in reality the easier it will be to work through this and come out the other side feeling secure and safe

also want to say i think it's wonderful you have a supportive mum that you can spend the night with when you need to

take care

by the way... your BMI is 24.5
a healthy range is 19-25 so you don't need to stress out about weight loss you are already in a healthy range for your height! lucky you LOL

I've only experienced night fears/paranoia once, when I was going off Effexor, but I know they are awful! Knowing it is illogical isn't enough to stop the feelings. I would talk to your doc. There may be an anxiety med you can take at night to help.

What times of day do you take your Wellbutrin? I was on it awhile back and was having difficulty sleeping. Dr and I figured out I was taking my 3rd dose of the day in the evening and I needed to get that 3rd dose in by 6 pm or I'd be up all night.

Thanks for the responses.

sweet_pea,
I was always a bit frightened by the night...but when I took Effexor, I was fearless. I watched movies like The Shining, Amityville Horror...by myself at midnight in the dark. Now to think back, that period of time was abnormal because I craved watching horror all the time on my own in the dark. Since I started Wellbutrin, I'm terrified to even think of this stuff.
I never spoke to my current doctor about this, because my previous doctor went to extremes like suggesting hospitalization. I'm also worried he'll take me off the Wellbutrin. But I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow - it never occured to me it could be an anxiety disorder.
Thanks for calculating my bmi! I didn't even know I was out of the 'overweight' zone already!

Marciet,
Funny thing with me was the Effexor made me unable to feel fear. I did dangerous things mindlessly, like go out at 2 am to sketchy parts of town with people I didn't know. I also had to stop because it made me too high to work. I also craved carbs all day...so I gained a substantial amount of weight on it. Weird how it had different effects on us, eh?

Morgaine,
I take one tablet in the morning and I still have trouble sleeping.

peanut do you mind me asking your diagnosis. the things you have described suggest bipolar is also a possibility!! so it would definitely be worth talking to your doc to get a proper assessment, or maybe a psychiatrist. it would be good to lay it all out and get it looked at

hospitalisation is a big step. if you are living with your parents they would be in the best position to know whether you are a danger to yourself or others. i have been threatened with hospitalisation too. it was the only thing that made me take the pills

meds can have a strange effect. i know when i was on celexa i had nightmares every night for years. the doc kept telling me it wasn't a side effect but when i stopped taking them i was fine

have you tried sleeping with the light on?

From what my doctor tells me, many antidepressants can cause dreams to seem more real. For me I wasn't bothered much because I never have truly horrible nightmares. If you often have these horrible dreams but don't remember them once you wake up, now you might be remembering them which is causing the anxiety you feel about sleeping. Talk to you doctor and maybe something will work itself out Good luck!!!

<3 interesting that your doc told you that. mine reckoned it was unusual but i don't believe her lol
i think abnormal dreams are reasonably common on ADs

Yeah, I found it to be really fascinating. One of his patients once dreamt that he had gone to the store and bought bread, eggs, milk, etc. and when he woke up he was shocked to find that none of the things he'd bought were there. He didn't realize it was just a dream until that point. I've really noticed a difference in my dreams, especially when I was taking Lexapro. My dreams were incredibly vivid and sometimes scary.

i've always dreamed a lot and usually quite detailed and vivid but after meds the tenor of the dreams changed and they became very confused and involved death and danger and arguments and other unpleasantness - very nasty. oh i'd love to be drug free. maybe one day...?

Well, actually...

My previous doctor had me take a test for bipolarity. I scored positive...but I filled in the boxes otherwise. THe reason I did that was I read endless articles about Zyprexa and other bipolar drugs that caused weight gain. And my eating disorders and weight was the cause of my initial depression...so I was scared.

Also, I was incredibly creative, got half my novel written in a month - so there was a part of me who wanted to stay 'manic'.

Of course...now I've lost inspiration - or even the ability to think.

I can't wait to see my doc tomorrow.

One time I dreamed I was in a Rock band. I woke up in the middle of the night freaking out that I'd miss rehearsals. Got changed and the like. Weird.

oh peanut you will get yourself in a world of trouble if you don't tell your doctor the truth. i sympathise i really do. i've been diagnosed bipolar and i hated the fact that drugs affected my creativity. i'm a writer too and i loved the creativity but if you are on ADs they can push you into unhealthy highs including the symptoms you've described.

there is definitely weight gain on a lot of meds for bipolar. i'd be lying if i said otherwise but you need to address the problems if you are going to sleep at night and have a fulfilling life. take it from me no matter how creative you are it's not a good substitute for feeling safe in your own bed and feeling able to leave the house and make friends and trust people

it's also possible a lot of this can be treated through non medical alternative. diet, exercise, meditation, cognitive therapy etc etc so ask your doctor about a referral to a good psychologist and get some books to read.

untreated bipolar can lead to severe problems. you talked about recklessness - it could cause you to hurt yourself or lose things and people that are important to you. it's your choice whether you take the meds but at least get all the facts so you know what your real diagnosis is and what steps you can take to deal with it

i use about.com for their bipolar support. there are some good articles and also messageboards. i am sure there are other message boards. i have heard of one called mixednuts which has live chat so that could be an option

you referred to eating disorders. are these diagnosed eating disorders? if so i can give you another message board that might be helpful. you might also find the OA section of this website or 'chicks in control' useful. i am a compulsive eater and unrelenting binge eater. not pretty at all! sounds like we have a bit on common lol i am bipolar, have anxiety and eating problems.

if you continue to deceive your doc then you are more likely to have an episode where things get totally out of control. ADs on their own just don't work for bipolar people, except sometimes effexor can be used. some of the mood stabilisers can be neutral on weight, the antispychotics tend to put on weight but you can discuss it with the doc

you are more likely at risk of being hospitalised if you stay on ADs as you could spin completely out of control

good luck with the doc. i hope you have a nice doc that will listen to all your concerns