I'm afraid that my dieting mentality is becoming unhealthy...

About three weeks ago, I reread all my journal entries in the past year, and was extremely disappointed in myself when I'd come across an entry that claimed that I was going to lose weight. "This time I mean it!" I'd say. I stayed the same weight all year. With only 25 pounds to what my Dr. said would be a healthy goal, I hated that I couldn't just have the commitment and the drive to achieve this goal that I wanted for many reasons (health and vanity being the top runners).

Reading the journal is what drove me to want to lose weight. I started exercising and counting calories. I broke my addiction to food and have started dealing with my emotions instead of turning to food for a "high." I've lost 7 pounds in 2.5 weeks, and am REALLY excited about reaching my goal weight.

But my mentality towards food has changed a lot in these short weeks. I no longer enjoy eating. I know it's important to not deprive yourself when dieting, so I've let myself have a scoop of ice cream or cookie here and there, but the whole time I eat them, I'm thinking about the fat and the calories. In the past few days, it's not just the snacks... I'll look at normal foods and only see the calories and it has become easy to deprive myself.

I'll be the first one to tell you that starving yourself isn't the way to go, but I can sense myself getting closer to an unhealthy mindset about food, and want to stop it before it gets any further. Has anyone had this happen before, and what can I do to help myself enjoy food without seeing them for their calories?

I think I speak for many of us when I say that I see ALL food for its calories. I've just chosen not to let it bother me so much. I could easily say that seeing food for its calories makes me an obsessive person, but instead I choose to see it as something positive. Because NOT seeing those calories, in the past, is what made me fat.

Don't get me wrong, I don't see food ONLY as a calorie, I still love to eat, cook healthy meals and experiment with different tastes, and enjoy my food. But they're still calories. What helped me is eating healthier because I see those calories as good calories.

But yep, everything is a calorie to me. I just choose not to let it bother me that much. My husband cracks up whenever I eat something really yummy that I've made because he'll ask me what it is and I'll tell him. And then I add, "And it's only 120 calories."

Calories calories, everything is calorie. And he'll say, "you're obsessed with calories," and I'll say, "yep, because I need to be."

I am training myself to think that food=calories and nothing more.

I don't want to "enjoy" eating because eating shouldn't be a hobby...it should be something that I have to do to live.

This is helping me eat healthier...I don't have to like what I am eating, I just have to eat it and move on.

This is only my third day of recording my calories, so I can't speak from any experience just yet, but even from these three days, I can see how it would be easy to transform food into mere calories and to see it for less than it is. However, being that I do love food (buying, cooking, presenting, eating), I've very recently begun to see calories for what they are--measures of heat and energy. Without a healthy amount of them, I'm never going to be able to get to my goals and being that I know I need them, I enjoy them. I'm aiming for 1200-1600 a day (cycling) and I do my best to enjoy each one because I know that in the end, they're not just numbers, they're the energy I need to burn them off.

I think the problem with this is that it lends itself to eating disorders for some people. If it works for you, then congratulations, but I have had this mentality at times as well, and I find that if I don't enjoy eating my food, then I am likely to not eat it at all. I can have 1600 calories a day of food I like, or I can have a bunch of foods I don't much care for (or am impartial towards) and decide not to eat any of it because it won't be good anyway. I ended up with times where I only eat about 500 calories or so for weeks a time, and that's not good for anyone.

The only thing I can suggest is that you keep looking at your progress. You ar smart enough to realize that starvation is NOT the way to go, and you've already been so successful over the past few weeks. Remind yourself that during your successful weeks, you took in X-number of calories, and losing weight any faster than that could be unhealthy (as much as I would like to lose 100 pounds this week ), so you need to keep eating as many calories. I hope that made sense

I think it also just takes time to strike a balance. When you first change your eating habits, it takes up a lot more mental energy than it will later on in the process. You've gone from not thinking about calories at all (at least that's where I was at the beginning) to counting every morsel and that's a big change. Give yourself some time to work out the mental kinks. I think the fact that you're concerned about it shows your thinking is still pretty healthy

Also, maybe spend a little time thinking about all the good stuff in the foods you're eating. Look at the vitamins, fiber, heart healthy fats & so forth in your diet and think about all the good they're doing for your body.

I agree with Tani, I think it does get more second nature over time.

I admit I am obsessed with food. I think about it a lot throughout the day, and every time I am eating I am thinking about when and what will be the next time I eat. However, that's not so different from the way I used to think. Instead, before I was thinking "ooh, I want ice cream tonight, and I want to stuff myself with oreos."

I've heard people say "food is fuel." And I think that's genius. My car has its gas gauge and when I first started driving I had to pay attention to that gas gage a LOT. I had to think "how and when am I going to get gas." After a while, it becomes second nature. You get into a routine and you know how long it will be until you need to get gas for your car. You think "the last time I bought gas was Sunday, so next sunday I will need to get gas again."

Eating can get to a healthy point like this. You don't overfill your tank, nor do you buy Billy Bob's cheap-but-crappy gas on a regular basis. Maybe you used to when money was tight but you realized that was wrecking your car. Yeah, I still eat bad things, and I still crave them. But food is fuel. I know every 3 hours or so I will need something nourishing to eat. Sure I could eat ice cream for lunch but my calories are like "budget" and I'd probably rather spend those on a larger amount of chicken and not only feel better after but be full for longer. It gets to be second nature in a lot of ways, but there's nothing wrong with thinking about food all the time as long you PLAN, PLAN, PLAN and think HEALTHY. Food is fuel, and you want the best and most efficient fuel for your body.