i have two big obstacles with weight loss. First is my reluctance to obcess over food. I feel that in order to be sucessfull with weight loss I would really need to keep track of what I am always eating, and I am reluctant to do that. My mom lost 120 pounds a few years ago and she keeps it off by obecssing over food: what she has eaten, what she can eat, what she will eat, etc.

Body image. I do not really have an accurate body image. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is thinner than I really am. While I know that I am morbidly obese, I think that am just overweight. I am not sure if that makes any sense. But I feel that in order for me to be motivated to lose weight I need to have a more accurate body image. Not a bad one, I have both positive and negative things about my body, but an accurate one.

Is there anyway I can accomplish an accurate body image and lose weight without obecssing about food? Just let it be a natural process where I eat what I eat?

i feel the same way in regards to body image. i am anxiously waiting for a response to this thread, because i am seeking to change the same thing about myself. i understand, kyethra...

I have fat days, thin days and normal days. My body image changes with the weather so I don't think you need to see yourself any differently. Perhaps a different focus though? Why not think that at 170 you will be healthier? Yes you'll be smaller but maybe your body image will just keep pace with you - fat days, thin days and normal days.

The other thing you mention about obsessing about food. There are diets that don't count calories - you could try them. In the end though all that matters is that you burn more than you eat. I count calories personally because it means I can eat what I want within limits. What I want changes because of those limits (i.e. I'm not wasting 900 calories on a chocolate raisins!). Is it obsessive? I don't think so. I don't hate myself if I go over calories. I'm just trying to keep track.

To me its more like thinking 'When did I last see a dentist?' or 'I'm due for my TOM today.' It's about looking after your body. So I'd say its about care not obsession.

I so hear you on this one. I have some sort of reverse disorder were I thought i looked perfectly fine as a size 22 and felt a bit out of shape, but morbidly obese!!!

I don't obsess over food. If I want something i have it. The first few months of my eating plan there was a bit of obsessing going down. I exercise a lot, and that gives me a little bit more breathing room in terms of what I eat.

I'm just starting yoga to try and get me more in touch with my body and where its at. One of the dangers for me is that because I don't see myself as fat, there is a danger that I won't know if I am putting the weight back on again, as I am not in touch with my body, if that makes sense.

there are foods you should not have because of the fat and sodium content (chips) there are other foods you should limit to eating occatioanly (peanut butter, hot dogs). eat lots veggies, chicken, fish and drink lots of water. good luck. glen

Obsessing ... hmm ... well, we do have to eat. No matter how badly we eat, some thought has to go into it, right. So if we put a little more emphasis on what, when, how ... is that bad? After all, this is our health we're talking about here.
Simply because it's a change for you now, it seems like a big deal. It's probably second nature for your Mom. I think it's in Ann Fletcher's book ... how people who have successfully lost and kept weigh off, continue to monitor their intake somehow. At least when they feel a weight gain starting.

Naturally, we will lose weight if we eat less and move more. There are a million degrees of this. You can find one.

I think I had that reversal body image problem; I had no idea how big I really was when I started. I knew I was big, but not THAT big. But then when I told my sister and my BIL that I started at a tight size 26, they were like "NO way," so my assumptions that I carried it well were correct, but I couldn't have carried it THAT well (I'm 5'7'')

I have a new problem in which I actually feel heavier than I felt 100 pounds ago. I think it's because I become some much more aware of my body. I honestly would avoid mirrors when I weighed over 300, and I still do most of the time, but when I do, I feel that I look like I still weigh 300 pounds. It's weird, because I don't remember how I looked at 300 pounds, because I still haven't found any full-body pictures of myself at my heaviest. I've always had this tendency to rip up all pictures of myself. I know from my driver's license pic that my face is dramatically thinner, but I don't know about my body. It just doesn't feel like I've lost 112 pounds. It feels more like 50. And I'm 45 pounds away from my goal, and I remember when I was 250 didn't feel much different to me than 300, so I don't know if 150 will feel much different from 200. Even when I lay my size 26's next to my 16's, there doesn't seem to be much of a difference. I know I'm smaller, because before I couldn't even fit in the seatbelt in my mom's car and now I can, but I just think I should feel a lot smaller after losing over 100 pounds. I probably have body dysmorphic disorder.

And about obsessing over food: guilty. But I've always have. Before I would think about what I would be eating soon and I would lull myself to sleep most nights by thinking what kind of food I would get to eat the next day. It's just turned into a different obsession: thinking about how many calories I have left in my day and how many calories everything has in it. I say my obsession with food has gotten better. I'd rather obsess about calorie counting than bingeing any day.

I don't think I obsess over foods all that much anymore. I think I just make better choices. I don't make myself do with out just because I can't have it. It may be subsituted and/or I portion everything out. I make it a big point to have some kind of filler before a meal. Salad, soups, fruit cup, exc.

I had that image problem though. I use to look into the mirror and didn't think I looked all that bad, or all that fat but it was a different story when I seen myself in pictures. I did not like the image I seen in pictures and it didn't look anything like what I seen in the mirror. So I make it a point to have a reality check with myself. For every 10 LB I lose I will take three different pictures in three different out fits.



Bikini (horrible looking right now)

Jeans and a shirt/blouse (wow, it didn't look anything like what I see in the mirror. I had no idea my thighs, my tummy, and shoulders looked that wide)
one in a pair of shorts and t-shirt.



The only thing I am going to enjoy out of these pictures that I take, is watching myself shrink.
If I see myself naked in the mirror, I get the total idea what I look like.


Just part of my motivation.

I think that when you're used to totally unstructured eating, then paying attention to your food intake is going to seem like obsession. It's kind of foreign to *think* about what you're going to eat and how much. When you get into the habit of tracking your food though, it becomes routine and not really a big deal. For me it's like brushing my teeth or taking a shower, just something I do every day.

Does your body image from looking in the mirror extend to photos? I know mine didn't. When I looked in the mirror I thought I looked thinner than I really was, but if I happened to see photos I was totally shocked. I still find photos to be my most accurate reality check.

If just eating what I feel like eating worked, I wouldn't weigh this much. In fact, that's how I got so heavy--eating what I wanted, and having a job where I sat all day long.

It may seem like obsession to you at first, but I've found that I have to pay attention to what I eat--or else I just gain weight. In the past 15 years I gained something like thirty pounds--it was an up-down-up-down thing, but that's the bottom line. I'd watch for awhile, and then get tired of watching. Can't afford to do that anymore. Sad but true.

But it doesn't have to be obsessive. It can be really easy--you just have to find a way that doesn't seem too oppressive to you.

good luck!

Jay

Pictures, well it depends on the pictures. What I do when I look at pictures (and this is why I love digital cameras) is go through and delete the ones that *don't look like me* to me. So I only end up saving good pictures. Where the angle is right and my double chin isn't that noticeable. Etc. But I do notice the difference in pictures better.

I have some pictures from a couple of years ago when I was about 60 pounds lighter. I think I look cuter in those pictures than I do in current ones. A whole lot better actually. So maybe I need to start taking pictures. Maybe even naked.

Sometimes when I stand in front of the mirror nakid I am surprised by my stomach. Like where did the spare tire come from? How did I get all this extra fat? I don't remember seeing it before. But its so easy for me to just ignore it... I guess I need to focus on ways to not ignore it. To face it. To face me.

And I suppose I can start by keeping a food diary of what I eat. That doesn't seem to bad. And maybe ease into counting calories, so instead of just starting out at 1800 a day I can start out at 2200 or something to make it easier. That seems doable. And that way I don't have to plan things out if I don't want to. My mom will call me up and ask me what I am going to have for lunch, dinner, etc in a conversation. I will always say I don't know because that is hours away yet. She likes to talk about exactly what she has eaten, etc. I don't want to be like that.

Yeah, you don't have to be like your Mom. She is trying too hard to "help" you, and that can get real tiring.

But, remember how much she loves you. You could even start sharing with her what you are doing--"Mom, I don't know what I'm going to have, but I have a calorie counter and I'm going to try to stay within XXX calories for lunch." She probably wishes she had a "buddy" for her weight loss efforts. But just say you don't like having things so planned out as she does--in a loving way--and then go on with the conversation.

She loves you. Bottom line. But what you do is all up to you! And that's good!

Jay