If it was easy people would not have to have websites to talk about their troubles, there would be no diet empire, and there would be no fat people. The truth is it's hard...it will always be hard. But most of the eating issues are emotional or habitual. For emotional, you have to figure out what you are trying not to feel. Then, you need to allow yourself to be uncomfortable with that feeling and then you can deal with it, instead of eating through it. The habitual part, is you just having to create and exchange new habits for old ones. But, this sucks. And I hear that maintaning sucks even more...but the alternative is the suckiest of all. I know you can do it, because I am, and I was asking the same exact question you are today. Now the answer is: it's hard because it's worth it! Good luck!

Simple, yes. Easy, no.
I wish I had a good answer for ya Sarah, but I don't. Just know that lots of us go through the same thinking mode. Have you done the kitchen clean out yet? Maybe that will help to boot you along. Pitch everything that isn't perfect for you and go good grocery shopping.
And come here often. We'll perk you up.

Thanks guys, its good to know there's so much support and inspiration out there because sometimes it seems like its just a lot cause. After failing so many times I can't help wondering why i'm still carrying on. I want to lose weight more than anything but yet here I am and I still havn't lost anything and every day that goes by I just feel more and more disappointed in myself.

Rule number one - there are no hopeless cases.
Rule number two - it's easier if you love yourself. Try to do this because you want to be the best you you can be, not because you hate yourself and by being thin you can like yourself again. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
Rule number three - exercise, do something you enjoy (if you are anything like I was, it'll take a while to find it) and make it your time. Buy the nicest exercise clothes you can find, a nice pair of trainers, and enjoy it as much as you can.
Rule number for - concentrate on foods you CAN eat, and enjoy. For me it's low fat yoghurts, porridge, blueberries, apples, bananas, mangoes, chicken - foods I love and would eat anyway. Try not to dwell on the foods you can't eat.
Rule number five - talk to us, private message us, use us as much as you need, and soon you'll be giving advice not asking for it.

You will be fabulous, just keep smiling even though weight loss sucks some the time!!!!

Wow, I really cn't believe how much support there is out there, all this time I've always felt so alone. The only person I feel close enough to talk about my weight problems is my boyfriend but he dosn't really beleive in me any more than I so its very hard. With other people its much easier to be "he bubbly fat girl" than to actually open up about how I'm feeling. I sort of feel like if I told people I was on a diet then it will be less embarrassing when I fail.

I think this week when I go shopping I will make more of an effort to get some healthy foods that I really enjoy, thats a really good tip.

As for exercise I have found one thing that I enjoy, I started Salsa dancing in January to keep myself fit but it dosn't really seem to be doing the trick. I do enjoy going but the classes just aren't as energetic as I thought they'd be.

Thanks again everyone

I wish it was easy, but it's not. The theory is simple, but that doesn't take account of mental issues. You know what to eat, but no-one apart from you can tell you why you don't eat it and how to persuade yourself to do it.

The longer you go on with this, the easier it gets. Once you've practised enough it isn't so hard, you know what to do, you get used to doing it, and you just do it without questionning. But unfortunately it's a long journey. Thankfully, it's also a very rewarding one if you stick with it.

I definitely agree that food is like a drug. In my weight loss efforts, I often think of Dave Mustaine of Megadeth (heavy metal group). He has been in and out of rehab for substance abuse 15 times! Sometimes we try and fail, and that's human. There is a quote I like that describes that.

"If you have made a mistake, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down." ~Mary Pickford

I have tried and "failed" to lose weight many times, but I view each attempt as preparation for when I do succeed. I'm learning my weaknesses and learning to pinpoint patterns that lead to my relapse back into food. As frustrating as it may be, it's so important just to keep trying. There is another quote down in my signature that helps me a lot.

I never would have got this far without 3 fat chicks. I was so unconfident in the gym, and I hated exercise, and I never knew anyone as fat as me who had lost weight naturally.

It was only when I came here that I realised that there are loads of us out there, and loads of people who did it.

When I get up at 6 to go swimming, or go to the gym, it helps me to remember that there are loads of us here doing the same thing.

I really don't miss being the bubbly fat girl!!!

Ooh I like that. That's me, in and out of pretend food rehab.

It's not that easy because it's not that simple. It's not enough to simply eat less. You need to change your lifestyle.

Look at it like this: it's your pre-diet lifestyle (food + exercise or lack thereof) which made you fat. Expecting to make temporary changes in amount of food you eat isn't going to result in long term success. You need to look at this as a permanent change in what you eat.

In addition, you need to choose your food wisely. More complex carbohydrates, more fresh whole produce, more lean protein. Less simple carbs, less highly processed foods, less fast foods. Pick a food plan that emphasizes high quality whole foods and get rid of stuff you can't pronounce, let alone reproduce in your kitchen. (Kick out anything ending in "ose," hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils, preservatives, etc.) Become a label reader and shop only the perimeter of your local grocers. Stay OUT of the center aisles.
PLAN AHEAD!
Walking out the door in the morning without knowing what you're going to eat today and tomorrow is a recipe for eating something you shouldn't! I highly recommend a lovely book on emotional eating called Life is Hard, Food is Easy, by Linda Spangle
Support is key to long term success, so continue to hang out here keep us posted on how you're doing.

HTH!

I'm so glad that I found 3 fat chicks. It feels so good to be able to speak to like minded people who feel (or felt) like me.

The other great thing about this forum is that there are many people at various points in their journey, and everyone wants to help you out!

It is simple, but it's not easy!

If it was easy, there would be no fat people!

I got down to 140 before, in 1997 - I was a size 12 for a whole glorious summer. Then gradually, and over the last two years, not so gradually, it went back on again.

Two years ago someone gave me the worst advice I have ever had. He said "Just eat what you want, when you're hungry and you won't put on weight - your body will regulate itself!"

I put on two stone in about 6 months and never lost it!

I tried to lose last year, lost about 8 lbs, went to a party, ate bad stuff and thought "what the heck!" Put it all back and another half stone to boot.

But this time I found this place and it really has made the difference. When we have blips, when we fall off the wagon, there's always someone to encourage us, to make us ge back on again, and we do the same for others in turn.

People IRL might tune out and not really be othered when we go on and on about our weight loss and the problems we encounter. Here, everyone's in the same boat and we can all share the problems.

And the worst thing I was told recently - "you don't want to lose TOO much!" Why the **** not? I thought. What's their idea of 'too much'? Just because I've always been 'the fat one' and you can't envisage me without the lard overcoat, doesn't mean I always have to be that way.

Everybody here wants you to succeed and you can! Never forget that. You CAN do it!

Robsia - are you an Anne McCaffrey fan? I love those Pern books.

Hello - another Sarah! I've yoyo'd my weight all my adult life and I don't think there is any one answer to why dieting is so bloomin' hard. I do think you have to want to do it very, very much to make a go of it and when and how to do it has to be your decision and nobody elses.

I agree with SusanB - the best thing I did was go through every cupboard in my kitchen and chuck out all the foods which aren't suitable for my way of eating. Try concentrating on the foods you can eat rather than thinking about the foods you can't. Build a couple of treats in to your weekly eating plan. Have some 'free' foods which you can eat as much as you like of. I've also found that (for me) it has helped to keep a master list of the foods I can eat and then to plan my meals for the week in advance. I also use the Sainsbury home delivery website which has helped me stop impulse buying (free delivery on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday).

Good luck!

You are right. Food is an addictive substance for many of us. This is why it is so hard.

If you are addicted to any other substance you can go cold turkey. With food you can't. Imagine trying to give us cigarettes if you were told that you still HAD to smoke 3 a day.

When I am finding it hard going, I remember this and try not to beat myself up so much.