OK, confession time.

Why is it that I think if I don't get on the scale for a while that my weight is staying the same???? I'll skip a week, or two..and it will be up a pound, or two, or three..

I DO NOT WANT TO START THIS OVER FROM SCRATCH. IT'S STILL SALVAGEABLE NOW.....I CAN'T LET MYSELF GET BACK TO 230 BEFORE I REALIZE WHAT THE **** I'M DOING TO MYSELF!!!!!!!! (The yelling is really for me...not you wonderful people)

It hit me this morning that if I'm not consciously losing....I'm gaining..there doesn't seem to be a middle ground of maintenance for me. This really scares me for the time when I actually reach goal.

Yes, I'm dealing with one of the biggest challenges of my life (getting things sorted out with/for my Mom) Planning a benefit concert for her..at a venue that holds 440 people...when I've never planned an event of any size before The vastness of it is REALLY hitting me now. BUT, I can't let that stop me from taking care of myself...can I? I mean, I know I'm fully capable of it but I don't want to!

At this point I'd be extremely happy to be losing a measly half, or quarter pound a week...rather than gaining 2 or 3 a week. I know I just have to stop the evil sweet,salty,sweet,salty binge cycle that I have at night. But it's like an all out battle inside my brain...a fully two sided battle...and the pig out side seems to be winning lately.

My weight was 206.6 this morning....In October, I reached my lowest weight in a long time of 188. I have gained 18.6 pounds...what a stupid thing I have done. Pathetic and ridiculous.


Linda

I've been there before Linda...and now I'm here at 60+ pounds over my "low weight" of 7 years ago. I realize that it HAS to be a conscious thing for me for as long as I'm alive. No "taking time off from being healthy" anymore. At least you're realizing it before you gain any more weight back and like you say it's totally salvageable - 18 pounds isn't a huge number. Life is always going to continue on around us with challenges and stress, we have to learn how to take care of ourselves as we go through it. It's crazy how quickly old habits come back isn't it... Kudos to you for realizing it so quickly. You're back on track.

Good for you for stopping yourself in your tracks and rethinking your actions. You know what you have the potential to accomplish. With everything you and your family have been through recently, it is understandable that you may have lost your footing. But you're exactly right. You can't forget to take care of you. I'm proud, we're all proud of you for what you have accomplished and what you know you can accomplish. We all lose our focus sometimes. I hope that the concert goes well and that things are starting to look up for your mother. All the best.

Hey there. Don't be so hard on yourself! Would you tell your best friend that her regain is pathetic and ridiculous? Be kind to yourself. You know what to do. Restart the baby steps now.

Been there done that. I know how scary it is and how amazingly fast it can come back on. Your here now telling us what you did so that is the first big step. Me and Kimberley have been doing the same thing lately. I'm up 10 and she went up 7 back to about where you are right now. So lets all get on the ball and do what we know is right. We have been doing really well this week. I know that's going to turn into a good second and third week.

Hey Linda,

I'm just getting off this boat. Almost the exact same situation come end of October / beginning of November, I slowly slipped off the bandwagon and then one day at the beginning of this month I woke up and realized WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING!! It's a big de-motivating moment when you realize you have screwed up. It was for me anyhow - but I took the anger and turned it around and am happily back on track - losing 12 pounds in under 3 weeks. The key is monitoring - no question. Once we stop doing this we allow our selves to lose control of it.

Be proud you have caught your self!

You are in good company Linda. I am struggling too. You have made the first step in talking about the problem and you are strategizing on how to take ahold of things. I think it is the February blues - hang in there and keep being kind to yourself. We will all do this together.

Exactly!

First of all Linda, I can echo everything else everyone has been saying. I fell off my plan, oh let's be honest here, last August and struggled throughout the fall. I am back on track now because I realized like you did that I could not keep doing this to myself. As Howie as said, you have done the biggest step by posting here and acknowledging that you are struggling. Forgive yourself, you have been under a ton of stress lately. The best part is you have caught yourself before it got out of hand. Let's face it, if losing weight was an easy thing to do, this board would not exist.

I'm in the same boat...Was down to, what, 198. I am now at 205. But like Howie said, we're back at it. I didn't lose anything this week, still stuck at 205. I also didn't drink much water at all and I know that will be a big part of losing again. Anyway, all this to say you're not alone.

Oh, Linda, I really feel for you. Just know that you're neither pathetic nor ridiculous. I've slipped up many times myself, and it is truly amazing (and disheartening) how quickly the pounds come back on, especially compared to how long it takes to get them off. The key thing here is that you're catching yourself NOW before it gets REALLY out of hand.

You know what you need to do. What if you take this time to try out maintenance a little until things settle down in your life? I would strongly recommend continuing to track (nearly all of my gains have coincided with failing to track my food; it's too easy to convince ourselves that "it's OK") and take the time to get some exercise, even for your own mental health.

Anyway, I'm so glad you posted on this NOW to get support. You (and we) know you can re-lose what you've gained. Hang in there and post as often as you need to!

I'm so happy you posted. Of course you're frustrated and scared of what might happen, I would be too, but......I don't know if at this point I would have the courage to tell others and I would gain my way right back to where I started. Good for you for getting off your chest and committing to getting back on track. All is definately not lost. You have the tools to do this, and do it the right way. Just pick them back up again and start right back at it. We're all her if you need us

~Dee

I've been MIA the last few days and am just getting a chance to catch up. I had so much to say upon initially reading your post, but as I read on and saw all the responses, I realize they've said pretty much everything I was going to (great minds think alike, indeed!)

We all go through this darlin' but the important thing is to catch it before it goes totally out of control and you find yourself back at square one. Yes, you're up some pounds and feeling angry and frustrated, but you're far, far, far from where you started and know exactly what you have to do to stop that speeding bullet (and you don't need to be superwoman to do it!)

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, Linda.

I think teapotdynamo's suggestion of trying maintenance for a while is a great idea. It might help remove some pressure from you, and when things settle down you can tweak things a bit to get those pounds moving again. Don't set yourself up for failure by taking on too much at once. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

The night-time munchies are the . Remember what an impact cutting them out had when you started? I do. What's helping me to overcome the urge to snack is brushing my teeth right after dinner, and then using mouthwash every time I feel myself weakening. (Gordon Bennett! I'm sick of the taste of the stuff!) That, and filling the house with all manner of useless crocheted items! Keeps my hands busy, and I get to keep adding to my yarn stash!

We're all right behind you, pet.

You deserve to take care of yourself as much as you care for others. In fact, I'm a little annoyed that you don't want to look after my friend. She's a smashing lady.

You guys are incredible, and I love you so much

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I don't even have the words right now...but for tonight

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

xoxoxo
Linda