Hi Chickies!

Someone mentioned being invisible to store personnel when visiting regular clothing stores, and I thought it was a thread worthy topic. Let's chirp about it . . .

I actually have experinced both. I like the jewelry at the Body Shop, so when I am in a mall, I normally stop there. When I walk in, I don't get the "Hello, May I help you" greeting that the "regular" customers get. I get the silent treament. As soon as a skinny chick comes in I hear, "Hi, May I help you." Then I have been places where I got the gawk treatment. The mouth-hanging open stare down, which seems to say "What the heck are you doing here? You can't get your big toe in these clothes." These peole don't know why you are in their store. You may be shopping for a gift for a friend, buying something for your child, daydreaming, buying accessories like I do, or whatever. I went to a Rue 21 outlet to get some Christmas gifts. I got the stare down from the store personnel AND some of the customers. This man looked at me as if to say "Dress Barn Woman is two doors down!" The store associates just looked and looked while I picked up sweaters and blouses. One day I am going to get something and ask for a dressing room! That will get a laugh or two, or get me put out! LOL I am just waiting for the day when someone says something to me, though. It will not be a pretty sight. . .

Personally, I haven't experienced this....at least not lately. It has been so long since I even went near a store that sells "normal" sized clothing that there was no possibility of this happening. There was one bartender when I was in college who never seemed to notice I was there, even when I was waving a $20 bill in his face.

On the other hand I have been to many places where I feel like I am being stared at for being so heavy, especially by school kids who have NO sense of tact. I have been "moo'd" at in the mall and walked past a group of teenagers only to hear them snorting behind my back. Now THAT I could certainly do without.

Wow, I haven't experienced anything like that - and I teach high school. If I jokingly say something about my own weight, the kids yell at me and either tell me to be nice to myself and I am not fat (lie) or to be quiet because I look just like their momma!

I don't get Gawked at that often. I notice though that my professors never call on me when I have my hand up. I'm not able to talk in class either. When I am in groups people just talk right over me. This happens with my family too and they are all big ladies. I don't think it is that I'm fat. It just has to be something else. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was at a stop light once, the guys in the other car were making pig faces. With all the hormones and everything I just cried and cried. I couldn't even go to class that day because I couldn't stop crying. While I'm shopping I just have an attitude of don't mess with me, I think people read that very well. As far as in school I think most everyone was scared of me when I got to high school. So they never said anything to me. Middle school and elementary were very different though.

I used to get mooed at or worse by passing cars or by kids in the street. I don't get that anymore, in fact, as soon as I started exercising I stopped getting it. I think I held myself differently, and walked a bit faster. I never got anything nasty said to my face. If someone had, they'd only do it once. My Aussie sarcasm can be quite cutting!

No one helps you in English stoers, whether you are fat, thin or otherwise, you're invisible, so it's a level playing field!!! Funny though that lately at our equivalent of Lane Bryant, Evans, I have had funny looks from the staff, I now realise why. I only just fit into the smallest sizes and should really be shopping else where

I have never had any of this happen to me (at least not that I've ever heard). When I went back to school, I was one of the oldest and larger people in class and never had any problems not being called upon, etc. In fact, a lot of times I was the one that all the younger kids came to when they needed help with an assignment - maybe I seemed like their mother or something like that!

This is very sad and I know people (especially teenagers, but then most of them are unfit to live with anyway) can be very cruel. But consider the source - they don't have fully developed brains yet!!

DNR

I always *feel* like everyone is wondering why I am in the store when I go into "skinny" stores. But I think most of it is in my imagination. I also never go into those stores unless i'm with friends and I always feel very akward and uncomfortable.

I'm a middle-aged woman with grey hair--we're always invisible!

I avoid skinny stores as well. I have some friends who are skinny and really don't care about my size, but they are not very sensitive to the fact that it feels weird going into skinny stores. One of my friends dragged me around to all the skinny stores in our local mall - she didn't even realize that I couldn't buy clothes in those stores. I hate being in stores like that because the employees always give crude looks that seem to say "you don't belong here" I find that I am talked down to and treated like I am uneducated because of my size, and it doesn't matter if I am in a clothing store, in a restaurant, or going house hunting.
It sucks. Why can't people grow up?

I won't even walk into Victoria Secret anymore for perfume because they look at me like I'm about to rob the place. Like why the heck is she in here?? Some stores I don't even feel like I have the right to walk into anymore. I hate when my mom makes me stop into certain clothing stores to shop for my sister who's 10 years younger than me.

Frankly, I'm thrilled when they don't talk to me in the stores! I find it annoying and very distracting when they do. I rather they just stayed out of my way, and leave me be. If I need their help, then they should be close by the front desk and not force me to look for them all around the store. That's the way I feel about it. A lot of the times, it may be our overactive imagination that we're getting gawked at. I'll admit though, that it's not always the case. Just hold your head up high, act like you're royalty, and ignore them in style.

I went into a store in a mall the other day to determine if I can even BUY anything there yet (answer: emphatic no. I'm only just getting into 20s, and 16s are the highest many of these "normal" places go. yeah, I'm not bitter).

Anyway, I did find myself ignored (it was late and the only saleswoman was on the phone), and I did take offense. But then I wonder if a skinnier person went in if she would have received assistance from this woman either (she just didn't look friendly!). I think a lot of the time we attribute others' behavior to our weight and maybe sometimes it's not related (okay, the boys making "piggy" faces or mooing sounds are another story altogether!)

I don't know about people staring, because I don't look to see who is looking at me or not. But, I do know about being ignored. Not in a store either. I was in sectionals (orchestra rehearsal) and there were only 3 of us in the room. The other two talked about what we were going to do with the bowing (violas) and then they turned around and told me the same thing they had just said! I was sitting right next to them, did they think I was stupid or something? I was very offended, but I didn't show it at the time. When I lost some weight, suddenly everyone noticed, and I became part of the conversation. This was not my doing either, I tend to be a bit shy. They would initiate it. It is all crazy.
It is too bad that I gained a ton of weight with my children, so I am invisible again. By the way, I don't dare even set one fat foot into a 'skinny' store.

Samantha

I have certainly been on the receiving end of rude comments and a lot of laughter at my expense. I have also been ignored by many people, in many places. I have noticed a huge difference since I have lost a lot of my weight. I am POSITIVE that people are treating me differently, at work and while I am out shopping. Friends have said that maybe I am just showing more confidence, but I don't think that is the case in many instances. Like, when I go into a shop, I don't have time to be 'confident' before someone is coming up to me, greeting me exuberantly (sp?) and asking if I need assistance.

I still look now and then to see who is staring at me, when I am out shopping. I don't think I look that 'different' from everyone else now, but old habits are hard to break. I had MANY years of putting up with this, till it almost stopped me going out altogether.

Perhaps it is my imagination... I'm not 100% sure... perhaps it could be that I am acting differently... still not sure. I truly think it is basically just ignorance and arrogance on behalf of MANY people in this world who feel that they have a right to put others down. Sad, but true.

I wish you all 'arrogance-free' days.

Take care,

Zelma