I have been reading the eating disorders posts for several months. I am now ready to admit to myself and to you all that I have had an eating disorder most of my life. I grew up on a diet, binged and used laxatives thru college, and now just binge and compulsively overeat. I am 5'4" and weigh 140 pounds. My highest weight was 153#. But I feel best around 125-130#. I just can't seem to maintain that. Please don't think that since I am not severely overweight that I don't have a problem. It's a true problem to me. Food totally obsesses me on most days. I usually start each day out good and I am very active with exercise first thing every morning - but by the afternoon I am eating all I can find. Today after lunch I had errands to run. So I ended up doing the errands and then buying $6.50 worth of junk food. In less than 15 minutes I ate 24 powdered sugar doughnuts (in the car). Then I had a huge dinner and just topped it off with 12 mini candy bars. I am miserably full and as I type this I vow that I will never binge again....But I have vowed that so many times. It seems as if somedays I have a grip and food is no big deal and on other days food is all that matters. I have tried journaling to see if there is a pattern to my binges - so far I can't see one. I have realized that if I eat more protein then I seem to not have as many cravings. I think I am a carb-addict but I can't seem to eat all protein.......Anyway, I could go on all night. Thank you for letting me vent and admit to the world that I have a problem that I need help dealing with.

Harpo, thanks for your honesty and candidness. You've just made the first, most important step, admitting that you have a problem. That's a huge step and one you should be proud of.

There are a lot of books out there that could be helpful to you. I'm reading "Breaking Free From Compulsive Eating" by Geneen Roth. It's wonderful. I'm almost done w/ the first reading but it's one of those books that need to be read more than once.

Good luck
Yvette