My mother did a great job giving me good self esteem because I can clearly remember once catching a glimpse of myself in the glass of a bus shelter and thinking, "Man I look good today", and that was at 315# and wearing a 26/28. What was I thinking??

So anyway, it couldnt be but a month or two later and I saw myself in my full length mirror on a closet door that was always closed, yet this day it was wide open and for the first time I finally saw what I looked like.

I dont know what made that day so different from the rest but when I looked at myself I didnt see a pretty girl, I saw legs that were covered in cellulite, a belly that was hanging, arms that looked like if I moved them up and down I would take flight, and a face that looked like a bowling ball on a set of shoulders. Quite different from the bus shelter huh?!

That is what set me in motion... I was disgusted with what I saw and started right then to do something about it. Although it has been a hard and slow journey I stick with it. I know that I can one day become the thinner person that is inside.

Pictures were always hard to look at. My moment was sitting down in a public bathroom stall and cutting the outside of my huge outer thigh on a sharp-edged metal trash receptacle. My thighs were so big that I almost had to squeeze in to sit down - I had to face the fact I was too fat for a public bathroom stall! That was the moment, right there.

I must admit that I know EXACTLY what you are talking about MelissaLyn! Many days at 272 I thought that I looked gooood, and now when I look back at photographs I am horrified to see what I actually thought looked "good." I think, though, that you can analyze this from two perspectives: 1. It is a sort of self-preservation to encourage your self-esteem and not get too, too hard on yourself, otherwise one would be in a permanent depression. And 2. Maybe when you (and others with good self-esteem) look in a mirror or at pictures, most of the time you probably aren't JUST seeing your body but your whole persona as well, thus making a good personality exude out of a flawed body to create a good image both physically and mentally (if that makes any sense!).

When I realized that I avoided any reflective surfaces like the plague and that THE BACKS OF MY KNEES were developing stretch marks! I didn't even know you could get them there! It's been a hard road, but I'm enjoying keeping those new stretch marks at bay and I look forward to the day when I don't mind seeing my own reflection!

I have those days every day. I hate being in the fat zone and knowing that once I've lost the weight I will be shocked at how big I "was".
I think about that and then I feel shocked at my fat self. I notice the way people look at me. I think...I was beautiful once.
I despise looking in the mirror, especially wearing my size 24 check shorts that make my hips look like a shelf.

When I saw my reflection in the glass door of the enterainment center one day while sitting on the couch. I looked at my reflection and almost wanted to throw up.

When I saw pictures of myself holding my baby son. He was so tiny that it just emphasized the size that I was. I have always avoided having my picture taken, but it is kind of hard to avoid when you have a baby. Unfortunately, I was so overwhelmed with the new baby, going back to work and finding a new balance that I felt I couldn't devote any time to focusing on losing weight. As a result I ended up depressed with a deep self loathing for about a year before I finally discovered the strength to commit to finding the real me under the fat.

I was getting out of one of those plastic lawn chairs, and the weight from myself pushing on the arms made the chair practically shatter. I have a HUGE scar on my arm from where I cut myself from it.

It was a cheap $3.99 Walgreens chair, but I knew my weight did it, and that is when I realized I was huge.

My sis-in-law, who is well over 250 (probably closer to 300), can't get out of a chair or off the couch without literally 'rocking' herself up and sometimes she even needs help. It makes me sad to see her like that, but you can't talk to someone about weight loss that doesn't wanna hear it. I know, I've been there.

Hmm...I'd have to say my moment was last August while my husband and I were on vacation in Palm Springs. We were staying at a small resort and one evening the owners took all of the guests out for dinner. There were five couples in all, including the owners.

Well, every female there was in much better shape and weighed much much less than I did. The other women dressed in cute outfits that showed off their petite figures and I felt quite frumpy and huge compared to them.

I can identify as well about photos. There are very few times over the years that I have allowed myself to be photographed because I knew how evident my weight would be.

~Silvervixen

I've never had one. I am a reasonably attractive person, and I was attractive at 250, frankly.

This isn't about looking good, for me. It never has been. It is about health and quality of life. I have scoliosis, so all the muscles in my back are f'ed up. Makes it hard to exercise sometimes, but when I don't exercise I gain weight which makes my back hurt more which makes it hard to exercise which...You get the picture. It's a vicious circle. I had to stop it. I had to find a way to break the cycle.

Add to that the fact that the women in my family tend to be very long-lived, almost with no regard to how healthy we really are, and I have a need to be healthy. I don't have a need to be skinny. I'm never gonna be skinny, or even 'slender.' At my healthiest I am a solid size 14. I want to get back to that. I am an active person by nature, so not being able to walk much at all was to me what the 'ohmigodimfat' photo is to most people.

The scale was telling me I was fatter then ever after having my second daughter. I couldn't wear much of anything I owned anymore. I hid from cameras.

It wasn't until my friend had me help out at her wedding, and took a group shot with the bride that I got a glimpse of what I'd become.

I haven't lost much since then, but I'm starting to fit into some of my clothes again. I still have a ways to go before I will start feeling attractive again, but I do give myself kudos for looking better then I did.

Mine was in the Wal-Mart dressing rooms. I found a really cute pair of pants that were a size 19. I figured they would fit. I was so so wrong. Then, taking them off. I saw all that stuff I cover up all the time. I just wish I had got motivated to do it before. I'm 14 and 232 1/2 lbs. I wear from 20-22 in womens plus sizes. So one day I will be able to wear the sexy jeans.

It was just this fall when I was down to one pair of jeans that fit. Then one morning I had to lay on the bed to button and zip them. I had really no money left to buy anything new to wear because I had spent pretty much anything extra on Xmas.