I need help.

I tried my first Yoga DVD today and I burst into tears halfway through. I was looking at the stretchmarks on my stomach this morning when getting ready for the shower, I've got some varicose veins on my legs, I get tired so easily, and I'm so scared of the damage I'm doing to my body. I'm 21, 5'5, around 240-250 pounds, and I've been through the cycles of weight loss and weight gain for years now. Somehow towards the end I just let it all go, and I've been around the same weight for a year. Now, I'm sitting in front of a computer wanting to burst into tears, wondering how I've brought myself to this point??

I want to be healthy and fit. But I don't know how to get there anymore. I feel so alone in this, and having to go home for the holidays (I live at school) will mean having to face family and friends, something that's making me feel so much worse right now. I don't understand why people put such an emphasis on appearance. I have tried so much to shift my focus of weight from appearance to health, and I'm proud of myself for it. But when I return home, I feel like suddenly I'm surrounded by people who might be looking at me first and foremost seeing my weight. That makes me feel so uncomfortable and sad, but it also makes me feel ashamed of myself, of the way I look, of so far, being unable to lose the weight. I hate it.

So that's my hello, sorry it's not a little more upbeat. This seems like such a great community

Thanks for reading

We have all been there! I Have only been posting for a month or so now. but this is THE best place to have warm support for ANYTHING. so welcome and post often every one wants to get to know you!!

Hi there Hope:

This is a GREAT place for support. And I agree with you--going back home FAT is difficult. I have been fat literally my whole life. I now live away from everyone, and I want to make a significant dent in my weight before seeing anyone again.

My advice (not that you asked for it): Get through this holiday and be determined that this is the LAST holiday season you will worry about your weight. By next year, they will see a whole new Hope!

Welcome ~ Glad you have come and joined us. I like your name ~ it sounds positive and upbeat!!! This is a great place ~ the people are wonderful ~we look forward to getting to know you.

Holdinghope!

It's great to have you here.
You've made a great first step toward a halthier life for yourself by coming here. It's the most wonderfully supportive place on the web (and real life too, I think!)

You can do this...I'm sure your family loves you. You have to remember that through the holiday season...and like Jen said...make this your last fat holiday season!

Keep posting..we're here for you..

xoxo
Linda

Welcome and glad you could join us. I know exactly how you are feeling with not knowing how to go on. It gets so hard after trying so many times. I do know you just have to keep on trying and you will get the resolve to do what you need to do. This is a great place to start and there is lots of support here to help you get through the tough times.

to the 100lb. Club, holdinghope! You've absolutely found he right place for inspiration, motivation, and support.

Instead of beating yourself up for allowing your weight to get to where it is, why not praise yourself for making the decision to get healthy? Punishing yourself for past actions won't change where you are right now. If it did, I'd have been fit, slim, and mentally together years ago!

Cruise around the site for ideas, and then make yourself a plan. Maybe start with just one positive change, and when you're comfortable with that, add another, then another. Before you know it, you'll be feeling (and seeing) the benefits.

Stick around and post often.

hi and welcome I agree that we've all been there before. Sometimes that is just what we need it to take a good, hard look at ourselves. Sometimes it takes shedding tears over what all we have done to our bodies. Now that you got that out of your system you can look forward to all that you can gain by losing your weight and getting healthy.

Welcome to the group and feel free to post often.

Welcome!! Everyone knows the way you're feeling! I've been there before and so has everyone else here! It really is an awful feeling, but by coming to the forums and trying to do some exercise you've taken a step towards the better!

When I started (almost a month ago) I was about the same weight as you are and pretty much the same height (I'm an inch taller) so I know what you're going through that way... and we're only a couple years apart in age. These forums have helped me stay on track and push me further! Usually I just quit after the first 2 weeks.. but now I'm going on 4 weeks soon and I swear it's because of this forum and me looking at it differently!

If you stick with the forum you'll get the support and motivation that you need. That I promise!! You can try to find a buddy to email everyday or every other day as well. If you want to you could always message me and I'll be here to help you along as much as I can Good luck!

Welcome! It looks like you and I are in a similar place....me being 5'5 and 244. I know that feeling of going home and wondering what people are thinking. Message me anytime you feel like it...

holdinghope -- I've been there too! I was nearly 300 pounds 5 monhts ago and completely resigned to never being able to lose weight. What a hopeless feeling!

50 pounds lighter, I feel much better already!

There are MANY of us doing this -- you can too!

First of all, Holdinghope! I am know exactly how you feel. If you have lurked on this site for awhile you will notice that almost (if not all) of us have had the moment of desperation, that Uh Oh! moment, hit rock bottom kind of feeling . Please do not allow those negative feelings to overwhelm you. You have done the first step by posting here. There are a lot of great threads on this forum, from the journal thread to keep track of your food, to the excercise thread. Take it one step at a time, even if it means that for the first few weeks all you are doing is writiing down what you eat. There is great support here, so keep posting so we can get to know you.

I don't know if everyone will see this, I hope so, I just wanted to tell you all a huge warm thank you!!! It was so wonderful to read all of your supports and encouragement so much!!

Hi holdinghope - welcome to the group!

~Dee

Hi Hope...

We have all been in your shoes and have visited that awful place a time or two since starting on our journey to a healthier place. You have already made your first step by coming here. Maybe you couldn't do the Yoga tape today but that doesn't mean that next week you'll be able to do a little more. Every little bit helps and before long, you won't believe what you can do.

Holidays are a hard time - you try and maintain, get all the movement/activity you can and enjoy the spirit of the season. I look forward to your posts - glad you found your way here.