I've been thinking about losing weight and the behavior modification/lifestyle changes we all go through to get to goal (and stay there!).

My belief is, using food as a reward is not a healthy practice. I actually feel that it is a bad idea for ANYONE, not just those looking to lose weight. Using food as a rewards sets up an unreasonable dynamic and contributes to an unhealthy relationship with food.

I am always saddened and alarmed when I see people offering food as rewards to thier children...I mean, can't they see that doing that isn't a good idea? I am sure they don't WANT thier children to have disordered eating habits but isn't using food for emotional reasons what helped contribute to becoming overweight to begin with?

Unfortunately, that's often what using food as a reward sets them up for. When I was training for my certification as a preschool teacher, I took over 20 child development and psychology classes in college. Many of them focused on this very thing and all the experts and studies pointed to the same idea: using food as a reward sets up the potential for power struggles, an unhealthy relationship with food and disordered eating.

Another unhelpful food belief is the whole "good" vs "bad" thing...as in "I'm good! I didn't eat any chocolate today." or "I was bad, I ate chocolate today." or "I've been good! I deserve this chocolate!". This way of thinking is unhealthy to begin with. Labeling self or foods "good" or "bad" is really unhelpful.

Thoughts? Feelings? Got any other unhelpful habits to discuss?

I'm a little torn in this, in all honesty. On the one hand, if someone has a problem with food then 'rewarding' yourself with something bad for your body isn't a good idea.

But then again, isn't that what rewards are supposed to be? You celebrate a raise at work by going to the bar with some friends. You splurge and go out to watch a movie, you maybe spend a little money that you should save instead.

See, a rich, decadent dessert is certainly not 'healthy' for you, but eating it can be immensly pleasureable. A gourmet meal at a nice restauraunt is probably not 'on plan' for people, but it is delicious beyond a package of twinkies and some doritos...

I guess that I think a reward with food isn't a bad idea... as long as it doesn't lead on a downward slope, and I think that it can be especially deneficial if the 'reward' is something expensive, hard to get, and carefully and beautifully prepared. That just reinforces the 'special' part of it. You -know- that it won't happen again for a while, but you've done something to deserve the very special treatment.

I don't think that it's a good idea to reward children (or anyone) consistantly with junky foods, though. It should be a -special- treat... not a 'you did your chores... just like you're supposed to' kind of thing. Going out for an ice cream with my parents at the end of a long day's work in the summer (clearing brush, mowing, garden, housework) was always a really special treat for me and I don't think that led to my weight gain -at all-.

In summary: make the treats rare (a reward for something really awesome), and make them high-quality bad-for-you food. Because I think that good tasting shouldn't be ignored. *nods*

I am all for high-quality, enjoyable food, worked into your daily allotment of calories...to me, that is a sensible "treat" not a "reward". I personally enjoy quality over quantity any day I guess what I'm saying in my first post is that changing the way we think about food is in order. If eating a rich treat is a "reward" is eating a healthy meal a "punishment"? I say enjoy your food-in its place- and *also* find other healthy ways to celebrate in general.

I agree with you, the way about think of it needs to change -- thinking just like this quote. Nothing except the colors black and white exist only in 'black and white.' The two choices aren't 'reward' and 'punishment'... the food isn't 'good' or 'bad'... a meal isn't 'healthy' or 'really awful for you'. There are many shades of grey (and reds! blues! greens!) in between...
For teh most part, I want to eat healthily and plan my food so that I can eat a variety of healthy (and sometimes not-so-healthy) foods and have it all fit.
But I think that a 1400-calorie slice of cheesecake could be a legitamate reward one day -- a treat that I couldn't fit into my plan unless I ate nothing else that day.
People should look to a variety of 'treats' and 'rewards' -- both healthy and sometimes not healthy. Fun and exciting and delicious and a little bit naughty and simple and extravagent.... as long as they are careful and far between.

Down with dichotomy!

I first saw this thread and thought, Food-Reward=cookies.....

But then I thought about it and there is another way to reward yourself (or treat yourself well) and I've been doing it......

(I've been recovering from an accident and was home for 6 weeks....when I finally got out of the house I went shopping...found myself at a huge asian farm market)...I bought food.

But it was HEALTHY food, fresh blackberries, raspberries, kiwi, pineapple, cherry tomatoes, great fresh fish and some *different* veggies, fresh herbs. It's a reward I can feel good about and plan to continue, I certainly don't feel guilty. It's better for me and not as boring as the run of the mill stuff in the regular grocery store. The big bonus is that it is very reasonably priced. (hey, i love a bargain)

Many people have said that eating the fresher way is more expensive, and might also consider this a *reward*

I think there's a huge difference between indulging in something tasty and enjoying it vs. using it as a reward. When I go out to celebrate something at a bar or a restaurant, it's not (or shouldn't be) the food per se that is the celebratory part -- it's the being with friends in a deliberately social environment, letting someone else cook for me and serve me, etc. The food-as-reward idea sets up the mentality that doing certain things means you DESERVE to eat a treat. It's creating an external food trigger similar to the ones like going to the movies = popcorn. The hardest things I had to do were to break these two associations. Just because I had a hard day did NOT mean I "deserved" to go out an eat a huge restaurant meal. Just because I'm at the movies, I don't HAVE to have popcorn. Just because my child behaved at the mall doesn't mean he deserves to have a cookie.

The problem with food rewards is not that you eat XYZ occasionally, but that it sets up an expectation that certain situations always result in treat food. This leads straight into emotional eating, because it's a very short hop from having ice cream because you did something right to having ice cream because you did something wrong, or feel hurt, or angry, or tired, or whatever.

Having ice cream for its own glorious sake is one thing -- having it because you feel you have some sort of RIGHT to it is quite another.

I think that's a great idea as a frequent reward, marbleflys. I do that, too. I will save up and buy something exotic, fresh, delicious, and healthy!

This opened up a lot more thoughts in my head than I thought it would...

First, I don't reward my weight-loss or exercise or food-habits with eating, that I think is silly. In fact, I don't really reward these habits period, they should be lifestyle habits (I don't reward myself for showering or brushing my teeth, it's just something I do). There are plenty of other benefits involved with it (clothes! ) so rewards aren't necessary.

Also, I've noticed that food has often been one of the biggest things that I look forward to, especially eating out. When I was a kid we would eat out maybe 1-2 nights a week, the whole family (and we were all big eaters). Usually fast food, as a dine-in restaurant was more expensive. Anyways, that habit got too expensive for us so my parents cut that out, and began reducing our eating out the older I get. Whatever joy it meant for me as a kid (probably being with my family, AND having a choice over what I was eating) got morphed into the pure joy of eating out which remains til this day. I realized that I always looked forward to road trips, or even trips to the mall, because there was just that slight *chance* that my parents might splurge and pay for an out to eat meal. I loved the food they cooked at home too, but eating out became something I longed for. I also looked forward to birthdays because it usually meant a meal out as well.

Today, I'm conscious of all this, but it's still difficult for me to try to find the real reason I should be looking forward to something instead of just the food. Or, trying to appreciate it in taste and smaller quantities rather than the opportunity to eat everything in sight. Growing up, fast food or dessert(which we had more of) was never really a reward. I think my parents actually restricting it from us (they were often dieting) made me want it even more. I think with kids it's more important to emphasize time spent with family, or work hard to make them like and appreciate tasty foods that are healthy, rather than think about foods being a reward or unhealthy. I think growing up I just focused a LOT on food. Maybe because it was a necessity so it was one of the few ways my family spent money? I suppose if I'd had more CDs, or more clothes or something or actually been able to go shopping and buy things as a reward than I might have had a less food-centric life. Not that we were poor, we were just on a budget. Though there have been studies proving that those who make less tend to be more overweight...healthy foods can often cost more (not always, but often for the good, fresh healthy foods) and having a lifestyle that allows you a significant amount of exercise requires a little extra, either time or money as well.

As a plump child and now fat adult, I strongly believe that many of my problems came about by using food as a reward and comforter. If you did well at school, you got chocolate, if you helped mum and dad with the chores, you got chocolate. High fat meals were used as rewards too.

As an adult, I kept the same patterns. Now I do reward myself if I have done well at something, or have achieved something, then I buy myself a new eyeshadow, some new clothes, a nice perfume. Food no longer enters into my reward scheme.

If I want food, I have it, if I want chocolate I have it. I have a small amount of the best quality but it must not be linked to anything emotional. If I feel emotional be it happy, sad, angry, then I either journal, do some craft or more often, exercise. I am a big one for eating when I am not hungry. I count it into my calories for the day, and then move on.

Food is more than just fuel, it is a pleasure, it was made to pleasurable so that we would all do it, and eat enough to be healthy and happy, and just like any gift, the pleasure of food can be abused, and instead turn into something unhelpful to our bodies and our health and wellbeing.

I LOVE everyone's input! This is great! We all have such varied experiences and views

I think for so many of us, food is so much more than food. Virtually all cultures celebrate with food, many to the point of equating food with expressions of hospitality and love.

Do I want to get rid of all of that, probably not. One thing I've been focusing on, is reversing self-destructive habits by using healthy foods to reward myself. I don't think that would be bad for children, necessarily either. I think it's when food (and unhealthy food at that) is always the reward or the celebration. Or worse, when a food is both reward, celebration, and consolation. I eat chocolate (or whatever) because I'm happy, sad, angry, bored.... The cure-all then becomes almost reflexive.

I've been "celebrating" and rewarding myself with fruits, veggies, whole grains... that I may not have tried before, or that I might consider an expensive indulgence (It's funny that we sometimes see $1.00 as expensive for a piece of fruit, but reasonable for a candy bar).

My newest indulgence is homegrown sprouts. Haven't taken the time to make these in a long time. Don't know why I remembered it as so much more work than it is. Part of my problem, at least, is I associate groups of foods with certain styles of eating. I made sprouts when I was eating little meat and shopping at the health food store. Sprouts were part of a "lifestyle" for me (as if it were illegal to eat beef and sprouts, especially in the same meal).

I think for me, at least, it is starting to undo the damage of a lifetime of being treated mostly with junk. Seeing onion sprouts, asparagus, fresh berries, ugli fruit, seedless watermelon or Pink Lady apples as a treat,
changes the way I look at food. I also use non-food treats, as ways to celebrate and feel good. So when I'm hungry or in the mood for a little indulgence it might be a hot shower, a good book, or a crisp apple.

Works for me, anyway
Colleen

Colleen

i think we shouldn't be rewarding are selfs with food to much because that is what got us into trouble in the first place. but on the other hand we could reward are selfs with a favorite food after we lost 30 pounds. glen

I don't reward myself with food, but I don't "reward" myself with anything else either. For me, losing weight has a built in reward system - I'm healthier, I'm happier, I'm having more fun than I ever did when I was fat. That's all I need to keep me going.

In terms of rewarding children with food I would disagree that it sets them up for a lifetime of food issues. Now, BRIBING children with food is a whole different matter. I never tell my kids that I'll buy them candy if they are good while we are in the store. But, if they ARE good in the store and have shown particularly good behavior throughout the week, I don't think there is anything wrong with us having an ice cream cone together as a reward. In my opinion, a reward is very similar to a treat. It isn't something you get everyday and that is what makes it special. I mean, if my son got a trophy every time he went to karate class the ones he EARNS at tournaments wouldn't mean much to him.

I don't think it is the food reward itself that causes long term trouble for kids. Instead, I believe it has more to do with them being taught that they will always be rewarded, even for things they are SUPPOSED to do and the lack of limitation on the part of the parent's. Plus, I think children are much more influenced by SEEING the relationship (good or bad) their parents have with food.

I think food as a reward is better than eating crappy foods all the time. I did some volunteer work with some kids and we went on a bus ride for about 2 hours. Each time we passed a fast food place, all the kids were frantic. I want McDonalds, I want KFC. The truth of the matter is a reward is a reward. I don't think American's are fat because they are giving their kids ice cream when they clean their room or get an A in math. I think the problem is that we are eating crap all the time, and there aren't any rewards. I don't reward myself with food because it's counter productive for me, but I don't think an ice cream cone for a job well done is hurting anything. I know one reward I am getting from losing weight and changing my life, is that my child will not learn that you can have anything you want all the time. My child is going to learn that a treat is just that, and they will learn to appreciate it.

i reward myself with food. if i have an awesome week of exercise and food tracking, i will eat dessert that weekend, or have a couple of extra beers. margaritas and chips is one of my favorite rewards.

I work my butt off, have lost a lot of weight and continue to lose. giving myself rewards helps to keep me sane by reminding myself that i'm not going to gain 15 pounds if i indulge every now and then.

i know you are talking about a little different scenario ( kids and food etc.) and i do agree with you on a lot of what you say, however, that margarita i get at the end of the week is a fantastic motivator to get up and run in the morning. its whatever works for you.