Ok, warning. I don't like to whine or complain or admit weakness, but this is really really freaking me out....

I really don't know what is wrong with me and I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience or could just shed some insight. I started WW at the beginnning of Aug and lost about 10 lbs since then. I honestly lose weight easily if I stick to the diet, and all of that weight came off in the first month. However, for about the last 2 weeks, I have been bingeing. I get a nervous feeling--almost giddy--and defiantly eat McDonalds, icecream, regular pop, and junk food. I eat when I am not hungry. I plan and have good food at home, but I break down somewhere along the line. It is not even at certain times of the day. Today, I woke up knowing that I had to start watching and counting. I got in the car and went to the store and got a vanilla coffee drink (5 parts sugar, 1 part coffee) and a Krispe Creme donut. I mean, this was minutes after I told myself that I was going to start eating well again. I even had a bottle of water and a South Beach breakfast bar in the car. I ate it too when I got to work and I wasn't even hungry.

Believe it or not, I have not gained any weight in the two weeks I have been doing this. I have not been to the gym either, which is a whole other issue. It is like my mind and body have shut down. I lost 9 lbs about 9 months ago and then I broke down again. I put 10 back on, and the cycle continued. It's not a plateau b/c I am just not trying.

Sigh...anyone have any advice? I do go to the meetings, and I feel energized from them..until the next day.

Hey, I know where you are, I have been there before. I felt so out of control and helpless, I couldn't for the life of me understand why I kept eating like that and I would wake up in the middle of the night and only be able to think about what I would eat the next day. I gained weight while doing it and I am sure that it will show up for you sooner or later (sorry)

The way I was able to stop. I was reading a posting on a forum I go to that is totally unrelated to weight and a young man had posted about his anger with his 52 year old mother who had just died.

He was so furious that she had never listened to him and his father about taking care of herself and now he has to live without her and even though he is 21 he wasn't ready to be without his mother yet.

I have a 19 year old son and have recently adopted a 6 year old and after reading his post I felt just sick inside. Here I am at 46, 225 pounds overweight, how long will it be before I die and leave my kids without a mother I thought.

I realized that something had to change and change right then and I started trying to make some small changes, like hitting subway instead of MCd's and using a 4 ounce bowl for snacks instead of a soup bowl. I really wanted to get back to WW but was unable to afford it at that time. Then I came into some money and went right out to the next Tuesday meeting and prepaid 16 weeks to ensure I could get a good start again.

I know how hard it is to want to stop that eating and being unable to do it even though you are crying inside and want nothing more than to stop it and eat normally. I don't know what to say that might help you stop eating that way but I am happy to be here and lend an ear and help anytime I can.

I know you can come out of this because I did and I didn't think I ever would but I am back on track and you can be too. Just think that you don't want to dig your own grave with your knife and fork and asking for help here is a great start.

You can succeed, be strong

Sheri

Thank you so much for sharing and for your support. I need to keep focused on the long term. I am only 33 and am about 35 pounds overweight, so my road is much shorter, but the emotional toll is still so ugly. I have figured out that if I gain just five pounds a year, I will be over 200 lbs by 40, and it gets harder after that.

Is there such a thing as a food addiction? It sounds nuts to me; I mean, how an alcoholic kicks the habit is to quit drinking. How the heck does one quit eating??

perhaps you need more than 1 group on a weekly basis? i know i do...

gsd72-
I feel for you and know where you are coming from-I know I have been there on several occasions. When you said something about a food addiction, it struck a cord with me. Sometimes, that is the issue. Have you thought about Overeater's Anonymous? They run on the same principles as AA, the other 12 step groups, but substitute food issues for alcohol issues. I used to attend meetings several years ago, and found them very helpful.
I think sometimes we all have obsessive compulsive issues, and it could be dieting on one end and overeating on the other.
When I have a day where eating is going to be a problem, I try and break it up into 20 minute segments. For instance, if there is some tempting food around, I tell myself "not now, maybe in 20 minutes." That gives me time to get involved in something else, and many times I forget about the food because I am so busy. Unfortunately,sometimes I use food to procrastinate doing whatever it is that I really need to be doing. I don't think this is something that can ever completely go away-I think we just get better at handling it.
I wish you good luck in your journey. Knowing that there is a problem is the most important first step.
Take Care

gsd72 -

I think all the ladies here have excellent points and words of advice/encouragement... I wish the best of luck and hope that any of the above work well for you...!

I would definitely take advantage of going to more meetings. I believe you can attend as many as possible once you go you're "official weighin". Talk to the leader afterwards and listen to her suggestions. Sometimes, its taking the cues out of your day......drive a longer route and avoid the fast food places,......go for a walk during lunchtime to avoid delivered pizza, .......pack food in the trunk when driving home from the grocery store to avoid eating things in the car. Small baby steps.....will get you there!!

yes you can attend as many as needed but you are only allow to weigh 1x. i attend a thur night meeting@wi@a sat a.m. meeting.

I think we all eat compulsively for different reasons, and so you may want to think about "Why" you eat. What's going through your mind as you buy the Krispy Kreme donut? The answer to that question might lead you to a solution about what to do about it.

For me, the problem was boredom. Everytime I was bored, whether it be with boring housework or 5 minutes between other tasks, I would open the fridge. Once I identified my trigger for compulsive eating, I could deal with it by finding other ways to occupy my "boring times". For example, I am not bored online at 3FC, so taking 5 minutes to read a few posts keeps me out of the pantry!

Keep coming here for support as you deal with this, lots of people here will be pulling for you!

Thanks so much! Boredom is a big one, on occassion, but I find myself getting frustrated with work or home that I say "to **** with it" and I eat. I've heard of Overeaters Anonymous, but I don't know much about it. Those kind of groups intimidate me :-( That 20 minute suggestion is a good one....I actually have put on 2 pounds as of this morning. The scale finally moved, and I don't want it to go any further. I knew it was a matter of time.

I know how you feel about the intimidation factor in large groups. I felt that way about WW, before going. And I still feel wierd about talking during the meetings. I'm more of an observer. I've heard of Overeaters Anonymous, too, and I think it would be a great supplement to the WW meetings. But if you don't like the group thing, maybe you should look into seeing a therapist on this. It sounds like you need to delve into why you feel this need to eat when you're not hungry. It's more than the food. This forum is wonderful and filled with support, as well as ***************.net, but it's easy to read and post anonymously. Speaking to a professional may help even more. Losing weight is not easy and if you're struggling with an emotional issue or depression, it makes it much harder. If you reach out to someone, it can really make a change for you. Good luck.