G'd evening, ladies!

Hope you are all well. Ok, Lilion, I know you're not, but I'll get to YOU in a minute. I thought we all vowed to try and get in here more often and keep up now that Fall is upon us. Now I know how some of you felt trying to hold down the fort these last couple of months. Now I want to play and there's no one to play with. Come on out, you guys, let's get this thread back up and RUNNING!!

I got 5 of my 6 jobs done today. I just ran out of steam about 2:00. YIKES! I came home, crawled in bed and took a 3 hour nap. What is THAT about?!?!?!? I really do not want to get in the habit of taking an afternoon nap at the age of 51. Geez, my mom takes them, I shouldn't have to yet.

Food was no better today than it has been. Apparently that scale shocker this morning didn't shock as much as it should have. I have planned to make Taco Soup tomorrow, however. Now that it's cooling off I can do a "soup day" once a week like I used to. The low point soup seems to forgive all the sins of the week.

Ok, Lilion, your turn: BIG HUGS to you!!!! [[[hugs]]] I wish we were closer so I could give you a hug in person. *Unfortuneately, it sounds like Mother Nature is playing nasty tricks on you too. Only 14 days between visits does NOT sound like fun. I hate that you've put off more children and now feel as if it's too late. How does your DH feel about kids now that you've been married for awhile. Have you talked to him about how much fun it could be without a new baby, or does he still have the "need to parent" feelings? If you guys haven't talked about it lately, maybe you're worrying about that for nothing. As my boys grow older I can surely see the upside of being able to go unencumbered. *As far as the puppies go, it just brings home my comments to both of my boys. Honey and I had dogs growing up, but my boys haven't. We've always had a cat. Honey wasn't interested in poop piles in the backyard and not being able to go away. Both of the boys want to get a dog now that they'll be in their own place. I've told them to really THINK before they run out and get one because once you do, you're stuck for 15 years. Honey says when Max is gone there will be no more animals. Even though cats are more self sufficient they still require some upkeep. * Ok, and last, but not least, here is the kick in the butt you asked for. That's the best I can do because, to be honest, I think I would probably be pretty happy at your weight too. When I was down about 10 years ago to 250 I was a happy camper. I could buy clothes at most stores, fairly fashionable, for reasonable prices. You're just going to have to do some real soul searching and determine if you're truly happy where you are or if you really WANT to lose more. I know that doesn't sound like much of a kick in the butt, but it's true. If you do want to reduce some more, then go for it. Afterall, we have to learn to "maintain" sometime. Consider this a brief break from losing that you took to do a lesson in "maintaining". You have to make yourself happy and not look at the number on the scale to determine what is right for you.

Ok, I'm not sure any of that made any sense. Just know that I feel for you. As for the book, like I said, I wasn't rushing you, just wondering if you enjoyed it. That's really interesting that that group really exists. And yes, I would say they are crazy!!!

See you all later.

Good morning ladies, I am not sure how good it is. I don't feel so well this morning, maybe being a slug yesterday wasn't such a good idea. All I want to do this morning is sit on my big backside and be totally lazy.

Thin, hi, I am trying to do my part to keep this thread going. I made the commitment to stay OP and post! Sure hope I can live up to both. . We all have the tendency to hide when we are not doing well with the plan, but that is probably the times we should be posting. I know it helps me to come and read what others are going through. Together we stand!

Lilion, The old saying of this to shall pass is so true. I am sorry you are feeling stressed. Hope you are feeling better today.

I tried doing core yesterday and got myself totally confused. Today I am counting points!

Well that is my input for today. How about the rest of you hens? What's up? See Ya later, Iwillbe....Ruth

Good Morning Ladies!

What kind of whiney post was that yesterday? Yes, I feel better today, just a little blue. Would probably be 100%, but I didn't get the break I wanted yesterday since DH came home from work early with a migraine and so he wasn't up for taking over the house and letting me do what I wanted. I'm going to blame this on hormones. I suspect I should go see my Dr. At least get his opinion. Isn't 42 too young for this crud, though? I don't feel that old darn it!

On the kids front...we've actually talked about that several times, the first before we were even engaged. He told me he wanted three kids. After a couple days of agonizing over it, I told him he should go look for a younger woman. I was already 36 and had one child from a failed marriage that I rushed into...into the marriage and into the child. I told him that if things worked out between us I might someday have one more child, that was it. He said that was no big deal. He wanted three kids like he wanted a million dollars, he could live with it or without it and be just as happy. So then we got married and I insisted we be married at least a year before we think about kids....back to the not rushing thing. He understood completely. Then I had some health problems, but still, when we were house hunting, we bought one with four bedrooms, intending to have a nursery and an office. Then I had more health problems. Then there was a significant chance I shouldn't have any more kids. DH assured me he'd rather have me than any other woman, kids or not. Finally, after I turned 40, I was told by my Dr. to make up my mind fast, because I'd need a cardiologist to moniter my BP and a high-risk OB, but that he'd refer me for consultation with both if I wanted to see if it was a good idea or not for me to get pregnant. After I thought about it for a while, I talked to DH and told him the fact was, I really didn't want to have another at that point. I didn't even want to see the doctors. DS was nearly done with daycare. He didn't get us up at night or have to be watched every second. We could go places and leave him unsupervised at times. I'd be pushing 60 when a new child graduated from high school! And perhaps mostly, I remembered how hard it was the first time, being bone-tired and stressed. Of course, I'd been in a horrible marriage or divorced when DS was little, so I probably remember it worse than it would be again, but I like my life the way it is now. I told him however, that I would see the Dr's if he wanted me to. I left it up to him. Again, DH was wonderful. Said it's okay, he loves me and he understands and he agreed it's nice the way it is.

He is truely the most wonderful man.

So you see, it's not DH, it's me. Suddenly I'm wishing I hadn't put my foot down two years ago. Although, having written all the con's out I'm feeling better about that. I guess deep down I feel a little guilty that I didn't give DH a "child of his own". (But then again, I gave him a perfectly good 5-yr-old, low mileage, already housebroken! ) I have the guilts...not like me at all, I'm usually a pretty pragmatic person. And while my biological clock seems to be screaming at me, I'm 42 years old! I may wish I had a baby in my arms right this minute, but you have to think long-term with kids. I truely don't want to be 60 - heck 61 - before my child is legally an adult. So I really just need to get over this already!

And now that I've poured my heart out to the world on the internet...(and I apologize for rambling on and on)...I'm going to get to the topic this board is supposed to be for. Thanks for listening - believe it or not, this has helped me by getting it all out and kindof rethinking it in black and white.

On the weight front, which is what I should be talking about here, I certianly can't say I'm happy at 260, but I think the slow-down in loss, coupled with all the other things, has really combined to make me - I don't know, apathetic yet frustrated? Maybe I need a break like you said, Thin.

A friend here at the office is getting ready go on a cruise to the bahamas, She weighs 240 and told me yesterday that she has to lose at least 15 lbs, because she wants to go horseback riding and they have a 225 lb weight limit! For a HORSE! Now, I'm all for preventing animal cruelty, but I think a horse can handle more than 225 lbs! Anyway, she asked me if I thought she looked 240 and I said "no", but I got to thinking and she told me she wears about a 20 or 22, which is my size...and I'm only 20 lbs more and a bit taller. Nice to get a visual estimation of how big my butt really is! She's 10 years younger, firmer and has a larger "top", but still makes me feel pretty good to see someone I know to be about my size. This is the first time I've realized how much I've lost. The clothes that fall off just don't have the same effect as looking at someone else.

So, I've decided I'm not going away. I do want to lose more. I want to weigh less than my husband darn it all and he weighs 40 lbs less than me! But I think I'll take a week or two and "maintain" then get back to it. Maybe get out of my funk! And you ladies sticking with it will keep me motiviated to not overeat and start gaining.

Two days, two really long, rambling posts. Thanks again Thin. Keep up the good work Ruth! And everyone else too, have a happy, healthy day!

Hi old hens....had a gynecological procedure today ( a colposcopy) and it's made me a little crampy. I'll get the results back in a couple of weeks. Anyone had one of these before? Apparently it's pretty common--this is my second one in almost 2 years.

Hi girls! So much for "soup day". I forgot that I'm going out to dinner with my cousin's ex-wife tonight. She has never remarried and I'm such a home-body when Honey is around so since he's still in Mexico I called Frannie and we're going out to dinner together.

Ruth: You keep on holding down the fort, kiddo. Appreciate it emensely! I'm glad you're still counting away. I will get there again as well. You're right that alot of people stay away when they're not doing well. It's important to be here when you're doing well, to set an example and when you're not doing well, to get the kick in the pants and motivation you need to carry on. We'll get through this, I know we will.

Lilion: It sounds like you truly have found a most wonderful man! I think maybe talking it out has let you truly come to grips with your feelings....and his. *I'm glad that your co-worker talked to you about the numbers on the scale. I have a very hard time with that as well. WW said my goal weight is 145. Heck, I don't have a clue what 145 looks like on someone. I'm glad that you've been able to compare notes with her. *As far as the horse thing, I think maybe that's just THEIR rules. Terri rides and I don't think she's quite down to 225 yet. Of course I'm sure some of it has to do with the size of the horse. Maybe all of their trail horses are not big animals. Listen to me talk about something I know nothing about! *"I've decided I'm not going away" What the heck? Nobody said anything about going away. You better keep your @ss in here. We'd miss you terribly!

Jen: Sorry, no clue about that proceedure. I try and steer clear of anything related to Dr.s. Sometimes that works for me, sometimes it doesn't!!! Hope you're feeling better real soon.

Ok girls, time to get changed and ready for my dinner "date". See you all later. Love ya bunches!!!

Hi chicks, How are you? I had an oops day yesterday. For some reason I was sooo hungry, went over my points for the day I tried to eat free foods, but that just did not seem to satisfy me. Anyhoo, today I am back OP and I mean it! I didn't do that badly, but felt so guilty about the extra points.

Have you seen the commercial for the merry maids? Funny, I don't feel that buzzed about cleaning. I don't think I ever woke up thinking that today I will have FUN cleaning house. That is what is on my agenda for today. I mean if you are a slug for a few days, you have got to make up for it sometime or other.

Lilion, I think it is ok to talk about things other than weight issues on the thread. It would be soooo boring if that is all we discussed. I enjoy hearing about everyones daily does, and even whines Where else could you go and tell all of your troubles and feel as safe as you do with your buddies here? I grant you there are not too many subjects that come up that someone else hasn't dealt with or felt.

Thin, How is the painting going for the son? Are they about to get things in order with Mom and Dads help? Hope you enjoyed your dinner out.

Jen, yep, I have had the colonoscopy. UGH! No fun there. Did I spell that right? They are necessary I suppose. Better safe than sorry huh?

That is everybody that has posted. (Where are all of you old hens?) That reminds me, do any of you ever hear fom 2cute? Miss her! Have an OP day everyone, I willbe Ruth

I'm still here, and still struggling. I have good days and not so good days.

Lillion, we are all friends here and I know that it helps me a lot to come here and pour ,out my heart to people I know care!!! This group has helped me keep my sanity through this very trying time in my life. On the other hand it has also been great when things were going great. That's what friends are for. And yes, this is first a weight loss forum, but we are more that people on diets

Thin, I'll do better at stopping by more often. Sometimes it's hard and as Iwillbe said, when I'm not doing so good being op, I tend to hide out and stay away. I'll do better.

Jen, Welcome, I've not met you, and I know nothing about the procedure you are having done. looking forward to getting to know you better.

I met with someone else about doing an estate sale for mothers stuff last night and it was a much better meeting than the first. These people are going to do the sale for us. They are a young couple and were excited about doing the sale They said that they felt like they had stepped into a time capsule because everything in the house was so TOTALLY 60's. Retro they called it. Junk I call it. Anyway that is one BIG problem out of the way.

Well I've got to get ready for work, have a great day everyone.

Hey gals:

Some of you asked, so here it is:

A COLPOSCOPY is a procedure used to view the cervix with a microscope, then take a biopsy of any affected tissue to check for pre-cancer or cancer cells. The reason I had this procedure is I had two abnormal paps in a row.

From my procedure yesterday, the doctor did not take a sample from the outside of my cervix, but she did from the inside of it, mainly because she couldn't get a good view with the scope. I asked her if it was a good sign that she didn't have to sample anything from the outside, and she said it was a very good sign.

So, I am hopeful for a good report in a couple of weeks.

Thin, how was your date?

Barb: Nice to meet you!

RUTH: I haven't had aCOLONoscopy! Hope I don't have to, either!!

Good Morning Ladies!

Hello, hello! It is a beautiful day and I'm feeling soooo much better about everything! You ladies are all so terrific!

Went to puppy kindergarten last night, just me and DH since DS didn't want to go. It was nice, since it's a 1/2 hour drive and we had some time to talk. I explained how I was feeling. He said to quit being silly, the whole kid thing was our choice, not just mine. True, to some extent, since I would have done whatever he wanted. Scarey to be that much in love. (I told him he could always trade me in for a younger woman who'd give him a bunch of kids...but then I'd shoot him...in the crotch...so he wouldn't end up with any anyway...so he better just stick with me. ) He even pointed out that right now we have Grandma and Grandpa to babysit if we want to go on vacation or something without DS, but 10 years from now they'll be in their mid-70's and who knows? So we talked about a lot of stuff and I'm feeling better.

We also talked about our - yes, him too - wanting to eat something fattening. We've decided to take the weekend off, not be total porkers, but eat what we're craving, and then go back OP on Monday. I'm not even weighing in today. We've really been very, very good since we started this in February. Not that I haven't had the occasional binge or a piece of pecan pie now and then, but really, I've not eaten a single biscuit since February. No alfredo, except a bite of my son's, no gravy, nothing much greasy. Even in Vegas I chose grilled over fried, chicken over pork, you get the idea. And even the binges have been few and far between. I've discovered there's no way I can eat "bad" stuff anymore without thinkng about it being "bad". Had Taco Bell last night and spent the whole time thinking, "Enjoy it, 'cause you aren't doing this again for months." So I really think I could maintain at this point, and eat like a "normal" person, but I want to lose more, so....I'm going to enjoy some no-no foods now and then this weekend and go back on track on Monday.

Jen: Have I welcomed you yet??? Well, even if I have, I want to use a new smiley! I've never had the procedure you are talking about. (Knock on wood!) I have two friends that have, and also had the biopsy and freezing. So must be pretty common.

Barb: It's important to get the right people to do that sale. When my mom passed away we didn't, of course we were really just kids, I was all of 22 at the time. We let other people do the packing and lost so much we wanted to keep. Whatever you do, make sure that you get everything you want to keep in your hands before the sale. Our auction guy was told specifically not to sell any of the depression glass or old albums. They all went. I also ended up losing a juice set that had been my grandmother's (probably 80 years old) and all my mother's cookbooks. No one seems to know where they disapeared to, although I've always suspected my brother's ex stole them. Once it's over, things start settling down. Take care of yourself and try not to get too stressed.

Ruth: Don't worry about going over your points one day...that's the whole purpose of the flex points. You can certainly go over on occasion without it hurting you a bit. You are doing so well keeping track of those points! I'll join you on Monday!

Thin: The numbers on the scale thing is weird, isn't it??? I know that WW says I should be about 170, on the high side. I can't remember ever weighing that. My license says 190, which was accurate when I was 19 or so. (Like anyone would have believed I was 190 when I was 328! ) Funny, I know I wore an 18 back then...maybe a 16 in some stuff. How come I'm a 20 at 260, occasionally a 22? I suppose some could be the difference between missy and women's sizes, but that just seems off to me. Have sizes changed so much in the last 20 years? I also find it pretty amusing that I was "the fat girl" in high school and college, and now I'm just trying to be that small! Goes to show how your attitude about your body changes as you get older, doesn't it?

Well ladies, I have the entire day to work on Judgments, since I actually scheduled a vacation day, but came to work instead. Now it's 9:20 and I've managed to do absolutely nothing! Should probably change that before the boss catches on!

Onward and Downward Ladies!!! If I don't get back this weekend, have a good one!

Happy Friday ladies. I am so sorry I have been hibernating. I tell myself over and over to check in and post, but just haven't done it. I have been going through a really tough time emotionally. My panic attacks have kicked in with a vengence and I am having severe ones about 3 of the 5 days on the way to work. Last night I had one before I ever left the parking garage and couldn't breath, much less drive. After I came out of it and calmed down a bit I called my hubby on the cell phone crying and he "talked" me home. I have been seeing a phsychologist who sent me to my M.D. I was adamant that I was not taking drugs and they both told me I would not get better unless I did. I relented because I just can't live like this anymore. I am in a constant state of anxiety waiting for the next one to hit. They both explained that it's a brain chemical issue, and I'm not going crazy. I started taking my "meds" on Tuesday, but unfortunately, they haven't fully kicked in yet, because I am still having the panic attacks. I am taking Paxil on a daily basis, and he gave me some Xanax for "bad" days, but I've yet to take one of those yet. So, this explains why I have been hiding from just about everyone. My mom has taken to calling me in the mornings and talking me across the bridge. She realizes that when I have a bad attack, I can't talk, nor do I really comprehend what she's saying, but I can hear her voice and it helps. I've just been a mess, girls! The one good side of all of this is that all this adrenile and chemical change in my body has kicked my metabolism into overdrive. I haven't been on program in over a month, eating whatever I want, and haven't gained any weight. Of course on the down side, I think if I had followed program, just think about how much weight I could have lost!!! But the phsychologist told me this was not the time to quit smoking or worry about weight loss, this was the time to concentrate on getting better, so I've taken his advice. As soon as this Paxil kicks in, I am going to go back on program though.


Lilion - BIG {{{{{HUGS}}}}} for you. I think our hormones play a huge part in our emotions, especially as we get (you know, that really ugly word) older! Don't beat yourself up - just pick yourself up! You have come so far and I know you can do it. I'm very envious of your size 20's. I weigh 250 and am still wearing 22/24s. All of my weight is in my gut and hips, but I still can't wear even a size 20 top yet!!

Thin - You have been busy lately! I think it's okay to take a "slug" day now and then. I so enjoy my "slug" days. Life is so hectic that we have to take those for ourselves. I agree with your theory on your sons getting dogs. The only reason the puppy stage worked well for us was because hubby is home during the day and I'm home at night. We double tag-teamed them, and housebreaking was that much easier. Puppies are a full-time job - just like having kids!! Let your sons talk to Lilion before they get a puppy!! They could always consider adopting an older dog from a shelter - one that is over a year old and already housebroke. Food for thought!

Ruth - After all the remodeling you have been doing, you most definitely deserved a "slug" day. I hope you enjoyed it. I tried the Core plan for a few weeks, and I didn't like it, but that is just my personal opinion. For me, it was too restrictive on what you could eat, and it was also too easy to overeat. But again, that's just my personal take on it.

Barb - Hang in there, things will get better. You've have been through an awful lot this year. Give yourself time to get back into the swing of things. I'm really glad you found someone you like to have the estate sale. Hope things go well with it.

Jen - Not sure if I've welcomed you or not, but just in case WELCOME!! This is a great group of ladies that have been my rock and sounding board more than once! Hope you get good results from your test.

I really do have to get back to work. I have a ton of deposition summaries to type up. If I have missed anyone, I am really sorry and it was not intentional. Have a great weekend!! - Kim

Hi Kim....hang in there. It takes a bit for Paxil to build up in your system to do its thing. It's worth it--I've seen it help many people! You'll get back to normal soon!

Hi Ladies,

I've been among the missing ...... again.

No good reason except I can't get it together health wise. I'm not pigging out a lot just losing track of portion size and making not so good choices. My knees are really acting up. Probably because of the rain that hasn't stopped in 8 days.

Anyway, I'm still here and hoping to get my act together soon. I'll try tomorrow to "think" before I let bad choices enter my mouth.

Hey ladies! Hope everyone is doing well. Today was another good day for me. I had weight control oatmeal for breakfast with a slimfast shake. Then after my workout I ate an apple. I went to the movies with my sisters at lunch time and I avoided the snack bar. I wasn't even tempted. I put a bottle of flavored water and a 100 cal pack of wheat thins in my purse and had that instead. Not much of a lunch, but I wasn't all that hungry and knew dinner was going to be pizza. I ate 2 slices of white pizza. Then I had a pampered chef party to go to. Again I took some flavored water with me. They mostly had appetizer type stuff, so I took a small sample of what I wanted and was satisfied with that, even had a small piece of some kind of brownie dessert pizza. All in all, since I didn't have much of a lunch, I did pretty well. I am really getting a handle on a new lifestyle. I can't wait to see my numbers on Monday. Anyway, hope everyone has a great weekend. Talk to you later.
Steph

Hello chickies, get your cup of coffee and come and visit for awhile. I know most of you head for the hills, so to speak, on the weekend, but DON"T! We need you here!

I am not sure what we are doing this weekend. How about you?

Je, OOPS, I miss read the coloscopy thing. Hope your test comes back A OK.

Steph, I wish I could get a handle on this eating right thing. Good for you. Change is hard. Some people are good at it and then there is ME!

Kim, I hope the meds will help with the anxiety attacks, that has to be sooo hard on you. The only time I feel anything close to that is probably with heights. I freeze! Not a good feeling.

J-Ann, quit hiding. You are not the first or last person to fall off the old diet wagon. My fanny has permanant bruises from the falls! I just pick myself up and start all over again. I am not getting anywhere fast, but I keep trying!

Lilion, A good heart to heart talk with complete honesty seems to have made you feel better, GOOD! Now if you can just get those puppies trained you will be walking in clover, or something else if you don't!

Barb, about estate sells, be sure you get everything you want first. I watched a team of sellers take most of the silver etc. from a womans estate sell and it disapppered never to be seen again. No one seemed to know what became of it. They said they were taking it for safe keeping, yeah right.

Thin, What are up up to this weekend? Whatever it is, have fun. That goes for all of you, but DO come and tell us about it.

Time to go and huff and puff. Join me! Iwillbe....Ruth