What's wrong with this sentence?

  • Quote:
    DALLAS -- Dallas police arrested Sunday night a man accused in a fatal beating in downtown Dallas, where up to 100 people possibly saw the crime occur.
    This brilliant quote is from our illustrious local NBC affiliate. I get more irritated with them every day! My junior high journalism teacher would have failed me for writing a sentence like that.

    If anyone needs a job and has at least a sixth grade education, move to Dallas and apply for a job at http://www.nbc5i.com. I've written to them so many times about errors that I'm sure they cringe when they see my name.
  • Wow, could it BE more confusing and awkward? I agree, that's horrible!

    Angela
  • Wow, that actually made my head hurt!
  • Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers while popping popcorn in a pot...news at eleven.


  • Angela
  • Yay! I love that quote. It makes my day. There are so many wrong items in the sentence, it's hard to know where to start. I think my favorite is that up to 100 people possibly saw the attack. So, what was it? Did 87 people see the attack and 13 close their eyes? Love it!
    Itry
  • kathy, i'll bet david fenfrock would never talk like that, don't you?
  • Never! Maybe they should have him proofread the website?