I had to share this with y'all because I think you're the few who'd understand how huge this really is.
I quit my job selling shoes at a department store yesterday. I am tired of people treating me like I exist for the sole purpose of fetching them a shoe!!! I seem to have been moving down the ladder since I have been a personal trainer and a manager of a gym. I love the fitness and health industry, what happened? It took a lot of courage for me to go to personal training school because I have always been chubby and extremely self conscious. I thought that would push me into getting into awesome shape and taking the right care of myself. Well, I apparantly became too afraid of being judged because of the way I look(ed) because I quit training all together instead of trying to fix it, wasn't ready I guess. I am going to look for a job at a gym or health food store, because that's where my heart is, even if my fat butt isn't yet! I decided that's it ya know, why am I majoring in something that I am not even that into just because it's comfortable? So I went in to the advisor today and switched from Education to Nutrition!!! I called the University I was going to transfer to and cancelled the stuff I needed to (they don't offer Nutrition). I am scared as ****, there's so much math and science (I am totally not a math and science person, that I know of) plus I don't want people to ask me what my major is until I look better. Well, I am not going to let fear rule me anymore. I have been putting things off for too long because I am afraid of what people will think, how I will look to them, just because of my body! NO MORE!!! I am not going to say "when I lose weight" because i am just going to dive in and assume that I WILL lose weight and become more confident. I am bursting at the seems with excitement for my bravery and the fact that I am going to do something I really am passionate about and I am the most terrified I have ever been! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! And I have lost 17 pounds now, I can't believe it, another pound gone!



