For several months I have had abdominal pain that my doctor thought might be related to scare tissue from surgery I had last year for uterine cancer. The pain worsened this last month and last week she orderd a CAT scan. She called me late Friday with the results which are not good. They suspect lymphoma (unrelated to my uterine cancer) and I have an appoinment with an oncologist on Monday. I also have a spot on my lungs which the radiologist wants to follow in 3 months with another CAT scan.

I never thought I would have to go through this again so soon. I know it will be healing but it is incredibly hard for me to even write about it. I feel devastated. I have told a few friends so far which has made me know that I am rich in love and support. I fear telling my family (mother mostly) as I fear she will burden me with her reaction and not be able to support me in whatever the upcoming process may be.

I really believe in the power of prayer and fear that I will not have the strength to face this with grace. I have been asking people to pray for me and/or keep me in their good thoughts. I really believe this helps!!!! If you are so inclined, please, I would be honored.

I am really grateful for the folks in the weekly journal (you know who you are) who have supported me so far in this journey. I will post here when I get more information from the oncologist. Fortunately, food has not been much of a problem. I feel very devoted to being present and "staying in my body" for as much of this as I possibly can. Thanks for "listening"

Denise aka activeadventurer

I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this nightmare. I also understand your stuff about not wanting to tell your mom. Awhile back I was in a situation not unlike yours. I did not tell my mother because frankly I could not deal with all of her emotions that would come from the situation. It was sort of like I felt that I have enough pain of my own and I just couldn't deal with someone else's distress. I felt I needed all my emotional reserves for myself and although people think they are helping sometimes their help makes it worse. I told one girlfriend and that was it. I did the treatment and kept the whole thing a secret except for her. After the fact I mentioned it to others and they though my decision was weird but it was just what I had to do at the time. You will be very much in my prayers and please keep us updated as to your progress as much as you feel you can.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! Especially after already beating cancer once. Please come back on and tell us what they tell you on Monday. Sending you a lot of

Denise,



^^^Praying^^^

xoxo
Linda

Denise, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand the mom thing.

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. It is Canadian Thanksgiving today and you will certainly be in my prayers You have survived Ca once and you can do it again.

I didn't read carefully enough. Sorry. My sister had non-hodgkins lymphoma when she was 32. She had severe bloating, pain and vomitting. Took them over a year to figure it out. Having said that, it was 18 years ago and she has remained Ca free. This can be beaten!

Praying!

Oh Denise honey, I'm so sorry. But you are strong woman, you've beaten this evil little disease before, you WILL beat it again! You are definitely in my thoughts and please keep us updated as you get news.

Beverly

Oh, Denise, I'm just so, so sorry to hear this news....wow, you poor sweetheart. I will definitely be praying for you. If you would like to talk in private, I'd be happy to just listen or to share my experience with Lymphoma -- although I'm hoping to heaven that you're just experiencing a false alarm. I will say that if it is bad news, there's been some amazing progress in treatment in recent years. If you'd like to reach out to an amazing group of people, this message board has been just such a godsend for me throughout my experience, and the folks there are well-accustomed to the yet-to-be-diagnosed stopping by with questions. There's both a Hodgkins side and a non-Hodgkins side.

I'm just so sorry you have to go through this terror. I'm here for you whatever you need.

Denise, I'm really sorry. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending lots of : your way.

Denise, I'm praying for you!!!!

I am so sorry, Denise... I hope this is just a false alarm. We'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Lean on us, and lean on your friends and family. They will help you through.

Hi Folks,

I have been crying on and off this weekend and am in sort of a low grade depression. I started reading a book I already had of a dr's memoirs of treating lymphoma patients. (Anatomy of Hope) and it took me all weekend to get there, but I finally made it to the gym Sunday night.

I am going to ask a friend fo mine who is a retired RN to go with me to my appoinment tomorrow. A mutual friend of ours suggested this tonight and it sounds good. I am afraid to go alone in that I may be so dazed that I miss important information or won't ask any or the right ?s

Your thoughts and prayers mean a lot. DCM

Oh Denise, what a blow to have something else to worry about...I'm so sorry. I'm glad you have someone to go to the appointment with you, both for emotional support and to be a second pair of ears. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, sending good and hoping the visit will set your mind at ease.