Comments by patients during Colonoscopies

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite
humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?"

As loopy as my hubby was after having his I could just hear him saying some of these. Thanks RNMOM.

I laughed hard at this one....

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when
she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off
to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened
her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said,
"Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to
the nephew...

"They won't let me fart."

too funny..thanks for sharing!!