Well my boyfriend and I decided to try getting pregnant. I went off of my birthcontrol pills on August 24th. I had a "period" on august 29th. We started trying on august 27th. I dont know what the bleeding was, if it was a period or fertilized egg that didnt stick It lasted the 29th and 30th and was done by the 31st. So Im not sure. But I havent had any real cycles yet so i cant count days. Weve just been trying to do it as much as possible, which im sure he's enjoying I figured if i am a 21 day cycle, that would leave me w/ a 3 or so day period. Which would mean i would have been fertile on the 3rd and 4th of sep. We did it a few times then. It just seems so much like WORK. its not romantic or passionate or fun. It seems like "oh i could be fertile these days so lets do it now". But now Im gonna wait until the 20th or 21st to test. and thats where the waiting begins. Its just so nerve racking. Hoping upon hope that I am pregnant. I know it takes a while for some women to get pregnant. im just really wanting to be one that gets it on the first try

Thanks for listening

You've heard the old joke that people who use the rhythm method of birth control are called parents, right? That's because counting days to try to figure out when you are or aren't fertile simply does not work. Even a woman whose cycles 99 times out of 100 are exactly the same can have something different that hundredth time.

Honestly, I wouldn't expect anything out of the first cycle. I think most sources say to give it a good three months after you go off BCP. Either buy or check out from the library Taking Charge of Your Fertility; it is really irreplacable when it comes to learning the truth about your own body. It's a lot easier to learn to check cervical fluid than just about anything else (the book advocates temping as well, but that never worked out for me, and it'll only tell you after you've ovulated anyway). If you can't find TCOYF at the library, see if you can find a new edition of Choose the Sex of Your Baby by Shettles. The jury's still out on whether it works, but it at least has a crash-course on reading your fertility signals.

Try to keep it loose. Many a relationship has been wrecked by placing too much emphasis on getting pregnant. I know it's a heck of a lot easier to say than it is to do--I've been there myself. Just keep in mind that only something like 10% of couples get pregnant the first cycle of trying, and there's a good chance your BCP can still be messing around with your system.

Ive taken that into consideration (that fertility isnt going to be dead on), so thats why we arent just doing it those few days of the month! lol. we are pretty much doing it everyday/everyother when we get the chance. Im not expecting to get pregnant, Im expecting just the opposite. That way when it does happen I will be excited as well as relieved. I guess putting too much empasis can cause strain in a relationship. I just wanna have my baby during the summer months so my maternity leave is an enjoyable one (instead of being stuck inside all winter long)! But I guess that isnt always the case and i will be happy no matter when the baby is due to arrive. Im just afraid that the first time we tried right before my little bleeding incident was not my period but a fertilized egg that didnt stick. I have a feeling i had also concieved a few months prior and that it didnt work out then either. I was on BC but was having many signs of pregnancy. I wasnt getting my period on my "inactive" week when i was supposed to (the little white pills). Then i had cramping really bad and it didnt feel right. Then one day whoosh and no more cramping. Horrible bleeding. one or two days and it was done. Scared me majorly. This last time scared me again. Im not trying to stress myself over the thought of multiple miscarriages but I am scared of them, Scared thats how it will be for me. I guess the worse thing to do is stress over them... It may just cause one!

These times are just so confusing. When do i test?? Anything i have read says that your conception date is considered 2 weeks after your last period... but what ifyou never had one? isnt that how the doctors determine the due date(other then from ultrasounds)? This is just all so confusing and makes me nervous. As much as I wanna be pregnant and a mom im SOOO scared to be. And trying at it is discouraging when it doesnt just poof happen.

Ok done carrying on again. Thanks for listening... again!

Please get TCOYF!! It's wonderful and worth every penny!!

Also go to Fertility Friend and get a free account. It will teach you how to temp and chart your cycle. It's very easy to use, and for a reasonable fee, you can upgrade to a paid account with a lot more options.

It's really amazing when you go off BCP's and start learning what your body is really like, how it works!

Congratulations on trying!

My only advice is to not have sex EVERY day, unless you both are just sex fiends, which it sounds like you aren't & it's starting to get a little old already. We had sex every other day when I thought I'd be fertile. After 10 months of this we were so bummed. . . and the doctor said after one more period I could take Clomid, so mentally we had stopped "trying" though I think we still had sex every other day or so, and of course that's when we got pregnant! You have to take some pressure off of yourself. I think the average is about 5 months I read somewhere.

I could never tell if I was watery, egg white, what have you, even after getting TCOYF, but I did take my temp every morning. I don't believe I was ovulating every cycle, and my cycles would be totally random - 20 days, 56 days, 42 days - so you just have to go with it and have sex as often as feels natural for you both.

The benefit to charting your temperatures, as the two PP have mentioned, is that it will give you a huge hint as to whether you're pregnant, even before you test, and if nothing else it will tell you when to test. The very bare-bones version (& if anyone corrects me here, believe them, because I'm going off the top of my head) is this: your temps hold fairly steady throughout your cycle, but there's a sharp raise right after you ovulate. If the temperatures drop soon after, you're not pregnant. But if they stay high, there's a good chance you are. (Or it could be, if they raise back up you are, like I said I don't exactly remember.) But the point stays--charting your temperatures will let you know what's going on there, & learning to read cervical mucous will let you know if you're getting into a fertile stage.

I've been there with the maybe miscarriages too. One thing you have to keep in mind about the Pill--it's primary objective is to suppress ovulation, but its secondary objective is to prevent implantation of any fertilized eggs. That's why some churches forbid it.

Yeah Ive thought about doing the temp thing... I think I will wait a few months to see if it works doing it completely naturally. I hate feeling like a failure and im afraid of having to chart, test, read, take temps, chart some more... all just to get pregnant. I get so frustrated when I hear someone say the age old "i forgot to take one pill and i got pregnant, Im not ready to be a mom". Its like OMG how frustrating when they dont have to wait until its out of their system, dont have to TRY to get pregnant. I know theres nothing that can be done but sometimes I wanna just smack people like that

I also thought about the pill thing and that it may not be outta my system yet. I know that sometimes it just takes patience. We were gonna wait until October before I even went off the pill, now Im glad we jumped the gun cuz it may be october or later before anything even works!

No more waiting... started my next cycle... now we hafta go through it all again. Its strange cuz no matter how many times people tell me "it takes time it just takes time" i still feel like a failure. But i know it will happen eventually.

Where did you all go?? I wanted to jump in here cause basically "I'm a chart expert". LOL Well not exactly but I'm pregnant for the second time with using Fertility Friend. It is so fun to do and not only will you learn when you may or may not be PG, you will know if you indeed ovulate and believe it or not, a lot of women think they know exactly but if they were temping they would see it never happened. Rather than having sex every day which isn't good for sperm production, you can actually pinpoint when the egg is being dropped. I am still temping but for no good reason. I think I am like 28 days post ovulation or something but it gives you a general idea of what your temps do pre-preg. and during preg. Also on the miscarriage thing, I had one in June so I can also offer some advice into that if you have questions and YES I"m terrified I will lose this one. I can't even have my first ultrasound until the 19th of this month.

tahiti, it really is true, you have to give it time. i've heard that only 5% of couples get pregnant the first cycle they TTC, and the average is five months. something like 80% will get pregnant after 12 months. for our first, it took us four months, and for our second, we got pregnant on the TWELFTH month! we were about to start clomid the next cycle, but then it just happened! we didn't do anything differently.

fyi - if anyone thinks of using the ovuscope thing, i don't recommend it. it never gave me a 'fern pattern,' though apparently i DID ovulate. i have my 18 week ultrasound in 2 days!