My house is a mess, my garden and garage are a mess - I feel like everything is out of control!

I've frittered away the summer - I had all this time to get organised and now I look back and I have no clue where the time has gone.

I start at school for my course in two weeks and my life is out of control. If I cant cope now, after having had 3 whole months at home, no work, no study, how will I cope when I start this course?

Do any of you feel like this?

I just dont know where to start - everywhere I turn is a mess. What do I work on first when every room looks like burglars have been in there and overturned everything?


I'm sorry to whine, but I cant focus on trying to eat healthily when I feel this way.

I need some advice, wisdom, tips or support or something.
Thanks

Check out www.FLYLady.net. She gives you tips for organizing your home and your life, and lots of encouragement. And it's FREE!

Trust me--You are NOT alone!

~Elisha

I know what u mean. I work 45 hours a week, take 7 college credits (2 classes), have 2 kids in school...with homework, son plays football..practice 3 nights a week & game every Saturday, house to keep up with...2 dogs, 2 cats & a bunny, grocery shopping, and a husband...Sometimes I am very overwhelmed also...Just hang in there!!

DEEP BREATH...GET A GRIP!!!! Okay then. ... let's start with what is most important to you... The house? Ok.. You know Fly lady... Let's start there..First, let's put on some blood pumping music.. Are we gettin' jiggy with it? A big bottle of icy cold water... AND LET's BEGIN! We have a [B]Time line of ONE WEEK ![/B]
focus on one room: Let's spend 30 mins decluttering... now a lick and a promise to get it looking decent... Let's go to the next.. and do it again...Room by room... step by step... Let's make a plan to concentrate just on the house for the next 3 days... Re-assess... Now that things are looking orderly, let's see if we really need to do some major cleanage... Room by Room... Tackle the bathroom...it's small so we should get some instant satisfaction from making it SPARKLE! Is the Garage important...let's pencil in a day for that... and then the garden... The blooms of Summer are off... this can wait..

It is sooo easy to feel overwhelmed BUT WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
Ok Artemis, I'll be looking for status reports each day! NOW GO GET CONTROL!!!! And Remember to finish your day with an EMPTY SHINY SINK!!!

I'm going to clean the bathroom RIGHT NOW! So I'm with ya!

I totally understand where you are coming from! Four kids in different schools, full time job asking for overtime constantly, scheduled laundry days (shared laundry room), and always something coming up away from home on the days I need to do laundry. By the time this is done, I don't want to clean the bathroom, I just want Calgon to take me away! But, slowly, just like the above post says, I've been getting through it, room by room. Hang in there, and thanks for the post. It really helps knowing I'm not the only one that feels that way!

Longterm


Shorterm

Look at what you need to do in small steps. This summer has been really nasty in my world and I am truly overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. DH and I were discussing it last week and thinking that this is the first time that we have both felt like this in our lives. Like you, our house is a mess, our yard has been left this year and we don't know where to begin.

The most important thing for me, and first in my life, is to make sure that I manage proper eating. I don't want to add the guilt from poor eating on top of the stress that we are already handling. Besides, healthy eating translates into more energy to get the jobs done.

The plan of attack for the house and yard is simple:

We plan to leave the yard for this year - the weeds and mess will still be there next year. After that, we have decided to take one room at a time to clean and organize. I started last week and spent 3 or 4 hours every night organizing and moving furniture to fit every thing in. It has helped, but there is lots left to do. It will get done, though, just not overnight.

Be patient and don't let it get you down.

Oh dear! I can certainly relate and I don't have all the pressures the rest of you chicks have. For me, the best thing is to break down tasks into small jobs.

This morning, for example, I sorted and pitched one of the boxes of papers in my sewingroom. (It was stuff from my office and I've been retired since 1998!) It feels good. Just getting one "niggle" done will make you feel better.

There is also lots of stuff that doesn't matter a damn bit! The garage and garden do NOT affect life inside your house; the state of the kitchen does.

That's where I'd start - maybe one drawer at a time? Every so often I take out all the utensils and put them away in a box. Over the next month I get out what I need to use and put it back in the drawer. After a month, the bag goes to the basement which means a trip downstairs for something I really need. After three months, stuff goes out - to a yard sale or the thrift shop.

Getting a handle on food will help too. Cook double - it just takes a bit more time and having dinner in the freezer is wonderful.

Hope this helps a bit. I found flylady a pain in the *** by the way!

Artemis, you are SO not alone! I could pass your post off as mine to anyone who knows me! I just try to take it one day at a time. If I try to look at the "big picture" right now, I freeze up like a deer caught in headlights!

Wow girls, this is how I've felt for awhile. I work 5 jobs, my full-time job is overwhelming in itself, I'm trying to work out, spend time with Terry, spend time with family, then we have weddings, funerals, baptisms, birthdays, AAAGGGHHHH.

My house is a complete and total disaster, and I feel like I'm sabotaging myself because as soon as I get home from work, I start to work on something that needs done (baby steps, right?) and halfway through a tiny project, I get discouraged and depressed and feel anxious and overwhelmed.

Plus, we're broke. Really broke. PartyLite and Pampered Chef haven't been doing a whole lot lately, so the cash isn't flowing in. I'll have a commission check from the wedding video company this month, but besides that, not a lot of "extra" money floating around.

I want to be one of those people who works a 9-5 job and then goes home, cooks dinner for her husband, and sits and socializes with her husband when he gets home. Apparently "real life" isn't like that, I'm learning as I get older.

Anywho, I can totally relate. Gotta get back to work.

I totally get it - feeling that way right now. Last night I was awake until midnight agonising over dropping another subject at uni, so that everything else would be manageable. But when i a honest with myself - I knw that I have simply loads of time, but use it very badly... so now I employ some lists and timers (when on the web) and just get into it... I do the job that I like least first thing in the morning and get it over and done with... GOOD LUCK

Schatzi.. you are a scream

Artemis...and the rest of you...are you the only beings in your households with functioning arms and legs?

I work 50+ hours a week. I get up at 3:30 in the morning and get home at 5:00 in the evening. I also have fibromyalgia and osteo-arthritis. The LAST thing on my mind is housework!

When I agreed to take on this part time position, I told dh and the other members of the household that they would have to contribute to the running of the castle. The Queen was no longer going to go it alone.

Hubby makes dinner just about every night (I do weekends). BIL has reluctantly taken on the responsibility of doing dishes and taking out the trash (with reminders) and DD keeps the bathroom from looking like a 3rd world privy.

I don't do the Fly Lady thing, but it sounds like a wonderful idea...but make sure the other members of the household help out and DO THEIR FAIR SHARE. Their arms most likely are NOT painted on and you shouldn't have to do it all by yourself.

The times when I have felt most overwhelmed were when I was trying to be Superwoman and do everything while the rest of the bunch sat on their hands and did nothing. And trust me, the more you enable them to do nothing, the more they WILL do nothing.

Mamacita - DH works full time, and his commute takes a total of about 3 hours each day. On top of that, he'll be taking one (at least to start) online college class per quarter, so he'll have homework (which he can do on the train) and he has to spend some time online participating in the class discussion. On top of that, he needs to watch DS anytime I need to do something such as cook dinner or wash dishes, as DS will rapidly destroy anything he is not allowed to touch if he is left unobserved for more than 5 seconds. In theory, DH would be able to participate in class while keeping one eye on DS as I'm cooking dinner.

Meanwhile, overwhelmed as I sometimes am, I am a SAHM - I'm overworked, but this IS my job. DH often helps me, as much as he can spare the time for (for example, he does all the diaper changes while he is home in the evenings and on weekends and holidays), and if I'm too exhausted or sick, he's very good about doing even more than he already does, such as cooking dinner or making his own lunch (I usually make his lunch because he is much, much slower in the kitchen). He is also very non-critical if the house is a wreck or dinner is late. Since keeping house, raising DS, and working on my degree are my primary duties, it really wouldn't be reasonable to expect DH to do my job on top of his. It'd be like him asking me to repair one of his servers for him!

As for DS, he is only 18 months old. He is only just barely starting to grasp the concept of putting toys away - almost. So there's not a lot he can do, although I'm sure he would if he could; whenever there is something he can do for us (such as taking something from me to DH or vise-versa), he is so delighted to do it that he is just all grins and happiness. In the meantime, though, it's pretty much just me!

I love Flylady! I still feel overwhealmed sometimes but nothing like I did before I found her!

I do the majority of the housework, I am a sahm so it's my "job". I understand the need for other people in the house to help out but I refuse to nag my husband to help. He is in the Navy, he get bossed around all day and he works hard. I see no reason for me to disrupt the peace in our house to "make" my husband do dishes.

Mama, I vaguely remember you having fibromyalgia. I do too! Surprisingly, mine's been acting up lately. I usually don't have too much "out of the ordinary" pain in the summertime, but hot as it's been, my right ankle and my hips have been killing me. My back, neck, and wrists hurt most of the time, warm or cold. I just dread the winter. If my body is acting up now, it's going to be a doozy!

And Terry works 15 hour days, so neither one of us is home, and if one of us is home by chance, we don't feel like doing anything around the house.

I'm going to go try to get Terry to work out with me. Talk to you girls later! Good luck!

PS I did the dishes tonight, again! (After making a home cooked meal, two nights in a row!!!)

Thanks for your replies everyone, its made me realise I certainly am NOT alone - sometimes I convince myself that I'm an incompetent adult!

I took some time last time to make a list of priorities in the house - everyone is right, the garage and the garden and driveway can wait.

I was feeling a little bit low yesterday and I think everything just went way out of perspective.
Thanks again!