Okay, I don't usually do this, but I am having a pity party for one today. Usually I am a pretty optimistic person, but today I am just irritated with my life and everything in it. It seems like no matter what I do I get the short end of the stick. I am 31 years old, and would like to have a baby, and for various reasons it looks like that is never going to happen for dh and me. So what do I do?! I go to lunch with two pregnant women (one of whom I didn't know was pregnant until I went to lunch) and listen to them talk about being pregnant, baby names, yada yada yada for an hour. It seems like everyone I work with is thin, tall, wears wonderful looking clothes, has great houses and gets to travel to the ends of the earth. Then there's me...fat, short, lucky to afford the clothes at WalMart, going bankrupt so I can't even look at buying a house, and I can't even get out of Texas! To top all of that off, I don't even have any friends that I can confide in. I have aquaintences, but no real friends. Shoot, I even have to pay someone (counselor) just so I can spill my guts for an hour! Sometimes I just want to say "can't I catch a break for heaven's sake?!!!". I mean, am I so horrible that I don't even get to be happy?! I try to be there for my family, support everyone the best I can, and just generally try to be a good and kind person. So when exactly do I get my fair share? I know that the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side, and that tomorrow I probably will feel different, but this stuff has been building for awhile now and I just had to let it out somewhere before I exploded. Sorry gang, but I didn't have the money to pay a counselor again.

Well, thanks for listening. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to pull myself up by the bootstraps, as they say, but today it's just a teary-eyed feel sorry for myself day.

M'Chelle

Sweetie,

You're there for your family and friends but when are you there for you? I know seem bad now and we all need a pity party for one once in awhile but try to remember that no thing/person/action determines your happiness. Only you can make you happy. I know that's really hard to keep in mind when things start piling up - but that's when you reach out! >>>HUG<<<

It's times like this that I wish I were better with words. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that you find the happiness you deserve and that tomorrow is a much better day.


Melissa

Hope you get to feeling better. How about you list some of the positive things in your life. You have your family your home and a job whats some of the others. It's easy to focus on the bad things in life but we really need to look at the good. Hope this helps a little and I really do hope you are in better spirts. Sorry your day has been a downer.

I can so relate to a lot of what you are saying. I am 33 and won't be having kids though I dearly want them. My dh, unbeknownst to me, had a whole heap of money problems, and we're as good as bankrupt.

What helped me was letting go of those things, and trying to concentrate on the good in my life. It's hard, dang hard, and I have my pity parties from time to time.

So (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) and know you are not alone.

Maybe I should PM this, it's rather personal. But I trust everyone here.

I'm your age, and b/c of my kidney disease, will probably never have kids. So I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. Everyone in my circle of friends is a mom, or is heading that way, except me. For the most part, they have left me alone about it, but the realization I'd never be a mother was & is something I'll come to terms with, on my own time. On days I know I can't handle hearing about everyone's happy crappy lives, I seclude myself. They respect that.

And honestly I felt the way you do a few years ago. Then I got laid off. For the last 18 months my perspective has changed weekly. Back then I was resentful at having to shop at WalMart, today I am grateful to purchase soap, let alone half the crap I used to buy @ WalMart.

But you know what? Perspective or not, EVERYONE is allowed to have their bad days. So I'm sorry to hear that your day was crappy, but I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better. Know that we are here for your every mood, good or bad.

M'Chelle ~ Hope you are feeling better today. Hugs to you.

(((big hug)))
I hope that you are having a better day today.