Hi everyone, I haven't really been around much lately. I am having one of my downers, where just thinking about weight is making my head .

I've been in a plateau, which is fine sort of, you can't keep on losing all the time, your body needs to catch up occasionally, but my gym instructors at work and at the other gym have decided I need to work harder (maybe not harder but smarter) Nah, second thoughts, it's harder.

This morning is my first workout under the new regime, and I am nervous about it. And then I feel stupid for feeling nervous, but he's got me doing new stuff any my inner fat girl is saying "you just can't do it, you're not coordinated enough, your not strong enough who do you think you are trying to kid"

My outer fat girl hasn't got the energy to tell her to go away. I have been working hard dammit!!! Every morning I get up at six, eat my breakky, go to the gym, come home, go to work, get exercise at lunch time, go home, eat, go to bed. I feel like a rat on a treadmill!!!!

And I'm lonely. I love you guys to bits, but I have no one here to share this with. I want someone to come with me to the gym, or at least go out with once a week for a healthy meal and a chat about how things are going.

It's all too hard today

Awwww, I hate it when that happens! Sometimes it just sucks that we have to work so hard at this, isn't it? I know all about having to pull yourself out of a nasty funk and slump. But, like everything else, it will pass and soon you'll wake up one morning feeling all motivated and positive once again about what you're doing (and the inner "fat girl" will shut up without you having to stuff her mouth with chocolate).

Is there not someone at work who looks like they could use a gentle push in the direction of the gym? And what about people already at the gym? You could suggest a little "after workout" get together and take it from there. You could invite a neighbour for an after-dinner walk and chat. I bet there's people all around you just itching for a workout, healthy dinner and/or chat ~ looks like you'll have to approach them if they're not coming to you! Good luck and cheer up, mate.

I'm sorry your in a funk right now. I think maybe once you get through your new routine at the gym, you'll feel better about it.

As far as being lonely, I think Jilly's right - there's only one way to fix that. If they are not coming to you - then go to them - you might be suprised!!

The new routine may be just the thing you need. I'm sure you can succeed at it and will feel wonderful at accomlishing it!!!

I can't remember if they have them over there but have you checked out maybe a TOPS or Overeaters Anonymous and maybe find a new friend there who would want to go to work out with you. I have never went to either meetings myself but it might be a way to find someone who is in a similar situation as you that lives close to you.

Ah, those head voices are the worst, aren't they? Mine still tell me constantly that I'm going to fail. Sometimes I feel like a fat little girl trapped inside a less-fat woman's body.

I know it's hard to remember when you're feeling low, but this too will pass. When I'm in a funk, I tend to forget what it's like to feel confident and good, but if I keep plugging away, the good feelings do come back. I have confidence that you'll do what you need to do even if you don't *feel* like it.

I know what you mean by the loneliness. It just takes SO MUCH mental and physical energy to do this that sometimes you just want to share it with someone who is going through it, too.

Could you take a class or something? I work from home, which often gets lonesome, and I got to the point where I felt bad depending on my hubby to be much of my social outlet during the week. But taking that belly dancing class has been a godsend! I look forward to it so much every week, even though I don't really see the other people in my class socially.

Anyway, Kylie - hang in there! We are all here for you. Don't hesitate to PM if you ever need to, as well.

p.s. Please give us a new workout report -- I KNOW you can do it! You have some wonderful support at the gym, that's for sure!

My head voices have been going at me all day too, maybe it's something in the air? It's stupid isn't it, you know that you don't want to listen to them, you come on here to persuade yourself not to listen to them and to get other people to tell you that too, but you're still tempted.

I'm sure the new regime won't be as bad as you think, and if it is, think of how good it is for you If I was closer I'd come to the gym with you, give me a PM if you want to call or meet up sometime for some encouragement, I'm feeling a bit unsupported too. (In a moral support, rather than a no sports bra type of way ) I'm often whizzing backwards and forwards over the pennines, so it's not too far if you need some moral support.

You're so lucky to have instructors who really seem to look after you. Have they been wrong before or have you been getting results? (and I can see from your ticker that, small plateaus aside, you have, so don't lie!). Anything's worth a go, and you may just surprise yourself, you never know!

And another thing, from my perspective. I've been trying to fight my voices all day too (I've even got a blog entry half-written about it if you want to read it later when I've finished it). And I half considered having a rest for a week or two, getting off the treadmill (metaphorical and literal), trying to just stick roughly where I am and then picking it up again soon. And I started to think about what I'd do. And I realised that I didn't actually fancy eating anything other than I'd been planning to eat anyway, and that I didn't want a lie in instead of going to the gym because it would mess up my morning routine. I was trying to think of a way to treat myself, and instead of my old staples (chocolate and wine), I decided to get some luxurious bath treats to pamper my skin. And that's when I realised that whatever the demons say, I have changed, and I can do this. And I bet somewhere deep inside you can find something similar too.

So, Kylie, how did the new workout regime go?

Ahhh, the tedious monotony of it all can get a bit oppressive at times, can't it? I remember several times during the losing phase, just being sick of the whole process. Day after day of eating right and regular exercise, yet it seemed to be going sooooo slowly. I recall being disgustingly frustrated with how long it was taking and just wishing I was done with it already. I even briefly considered giving up about 20-30 lbs. from goal because my heart just wasn't in it as much anymore and by that point the weight loss had slowed down tremendously. I figured I had come that far already, I was looking pretty good and feeling great, so why not, right? But I decided that this was a promise (getting to goal) I had made to myself, and it just wasn't ok with me to break it. So I pushed through and eventually I got to goal, even surpassed it too! The point is, I learned that there is no "end" to this new way of life, I'm never gonna be done living healthfully. So once you're able to fully accept this as a lifestyle, even if it is a bit boring at times just like going to work every day and taking out the trash, you should be able to live with it and make it your own. Don't be afraid to shake things up sometimes and remember, living healthy doesn't have to equal boring. This is your new life to life, so have fun with it! But just stick with it, no matter what.

Beverly

OK, my ever faithful cheerleaders first things first. On my way to the gym at seven this morning, after I posted, I was in tears still and gave myself a gentle talking to. That I could throw a massive pity party, or I could smile, keep going and fake it til I make it!

So I went to the gym did the exercises I felt comfortable with and then asked for help with the rest! My gym instructors are pretty spot on with my programmes YP, I have lost inches all the way along, from pretty much all over my body. I felt the programme was far beyond me, but it isn't, it's hard, but that's ok. I had to laugh at one of the other threads Too Fat Fish, one of my dreaded new exercises is the skull crusher!!!

So at lunch I was feeling kinda confident, and stupid me went and weighed in, and whacko, I lost four pounds this week!!! so take that plateau!

I keep accosting fellow fat people but haven't found anyone who wants to exercise with me. Really I need a YP or teapot dynamo (or any of you really) who are that bit fitter and further along the road than me to spur me on, and give me encouragement, and that I can support too. And if I don't find anyone I just have to keep going.

Our gym is pretty blokey of a morning. There is one other regular lady, who is slim and gorgeous, and lovely and we have a bit of a chat every now and then, but the rest are men. When I start working normal shifts I will have a bit more of a chance to meet other people and do classes.

Thank you so much everyone, I love you guys so much, I just wish sometimes that we all lived in the same city! Country would be ok too!!!

kykaree -

If the Cute Boyfriend gets his way, I'll be in the same country as you soon enough. He's done nothing but talk about moving to Britain. And I can't blame him - I loved the place when we were there.

I'm sorry you're loney babe. My only other input was maybe joining a weight loss group (like Weightwatchers) where there might be a few other women who might want to start a group. Also, what about investing in a personal trainer? Or what about placing a personal ad for a workout buddy? Or starting a group for women who want to weight lift together! I bet the gym could help you organize it - maybe have one of the trainers work with the group? You could all pay a small extra fee to compensate for it? Extend yourself out of your circle of comfort - which you're doing already (and doing it well!!)!

Congrats on busting that plateau! You knew you could do it.

Glad your day turned out all right. It is harder not having someone doing this with you. I know before Kimberley got on board with me it was more difficult. I just want to help everyone. I seen an over weight man walking down my street today. He had on a gym outfit and you could tell he was out trying to get exercise. I just wanted to yell out the window and cheer him on. Everyone needs some support and that is what I love about this site. I too would sugest you try and find some sort of weight loss groupl Support is a wonderful tool in losing the weight we need to.

I'm glad you did it and got a victory over those scales too. You go!

I'm glad your inner fat girl finally shut up. We all have days like this, I'm glad you got through yours & LOST 4 POUNDS!!!

*Gets on train* That would shut you up I have more fat to moan about.