I am 20 years old, 5'7" and 153 lbs. I joined weight watchers about a month ago and have lost around 7 pounds.

I joined because I've been fighting with my weight the past year. I was always around 127 and last year my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and passed away in January. Coming from a very traditional Italian home, food was the comfort that i turned to (Although it was/is no comfort at all). I started to binge eat -- eating anything and everything. I gained more than 30 pounds this year and I feel terrible.

I started to see a therapist to help with the anxiety and depression I was facing which is more than likely contributing greatly to my binging. And I started weight watchers a month ago to help me as well.
Still, I feel it is such a struggle to control myself some days. My mind shuts off and I just binge. I've lost around 7 pounds, but i have so much more to go and i'm in a rut now. I get so angry with myself that I won't even write down what I ate in one day. Sometimes I can hardly remember...

Any advice? I really hate the way I look and feel right now. I refuse to put on my bikini and went to the beach once and decided i just couldn't subject myself to embarrassment. I love the summer and I love the beach and bikinis ... and Im only 20. I shouldn't be locking myself in my house out of anger and upset at my body right now.

Anyone with similar story? Or any advice?

Have you checked out the sub-forum for "Chicks in Control"? I think this deals with eating disorders.

although I can certainly relate to the extra food, because of depression, I self-medicated with food also.

Hi, and Welcome

CONGRATS on the 7 lb loss

I do understand what your going through. I gained a ton of weight after my sisters death in 1997 and I still can not seem to get it under control. I think for me, its more habbit and mental.

Since the passing of your father is so recent, I would suggest seeking some sort of grieving counceling. Some churches have them (free), you just have to look around.
Struggling with depression and grieving a loss can really take its toll (I'm proof). So stick with weight watchers and get some counceling, I really do think this will help you sort out all kinds of feelings.

Hugs and Kisses

I have sadly binged this evening.... I am so down right now

I have been on a binge for a month now! I have been doing WW Core and was doing well but I somehow derailed. I lost my Dad too, suddenly and 2 weeks before the birth of my son. It was 8 months ago though and I was gaining before all of that so I can't use it as an excuse.
I just bought a book about binging. I'll share any wisdom here...

thanks for the support...i've found it difficult to get up in the morning sometimes...afraid of what the day will bring.
i've decided to take a later shift into work and instead of getting anxiety of running around and then not being able to take care of myself..i take my time getting up, doign some deep breathing and meditation and then have a tall glass of water. I then take my time and go down to my tredmill (which was recently an archenemy of mine). I've been going on for 20 minutes--usually jogging half the way and walking fast the other half. This is really a stress relief that is helping me (although it is difficult to actually get up and get on the tredmill. After, I have another tall glass of water, relax a little, and make myself a healthy breakfast. (this morning i had an egg with fat free american and 2 slices of ligth whole wheat bread).
so, then I can shower and feel refreshed that I started my day healthy without running and stressing. Then I can go to work, at least a little motivated and not freaking out about waking up late...not exervising..trying to fit in exercise for the day..etc.
i've only been doing this a few days now...but so far, so good.
unfortunately when school starts again, that can't really happen b/c i have a tough load of classes...

this binging this though is difficult...i had another break down last night..thankfulyl i only ate some peas,onions, and breaded artichoke hearts and a piece of sweet potato. It could have been alot worse...

Hang in there............I eat when I feel bored and lonely.

What do you consider a binge?

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) Liz

basically...when im not hungry and i just start eating anything and everything just because..its something to take my mind off of being upset or angry but ultimately it makes me more so...