I know we're mostly multiparas here, but we do have a couple of mamas who are expecting for the first time. I know when I was pregnant with my first I was so frustrated at the lack of info out there about what would happen. So I figured if we all got together to talk about it, we can maybe dispel the mystery. (Heck, I had a primip tell me once I was "lucky" to have had a c-section!)

Bobbie's Birth

I was induced at one day past due with her because I had pretty bad preeclampsia. I know that convenience inductions are becoming more common, and I'll keep my mouth shut for now about the cascade of interventions that so often results. Anyhow...

I got to my L&D room and went and took a shower. That was the last time I was on my feet. I put on a hospital gown, sat down in the bed, and started getting poked. They tend to take quite a bit of blood from you in the hospital, or at least they did in this one. No freaking idea what they wanted it for. But I also had to get a needle in for an IV, which they put in my left hand (which made signing forms fun!). Painful as that was, it was the most pleasant part of the experience. I got saline solution through the IV and also magnesium sulfate, which is an antiseizure drug, if memory serves. Because of the mag (which, btw, gave me such lovely side-effects as being hot and really, really stuffed up), I had to be catheterized. I was also hooked up to two external monitors, one for heartbeat and one for contractions. I look upon continual fetal monitoring as a form of torture, as that further limits your ability to move (you move, they get out of place, the nurses lose the heartbeat on their tracker at the nurse's station, and you get *****ed at for moving; at least I did).

Pitocin-induced contractions are notoriously painful. Honestly, though, I could handle them. I have always had very bad menstrual cramps with my periods, and this wasn't much worse. I had read Husband Coached Childbirth, so I consciously relaxed through them and read a book in-between. Of course, I wasn't screaming or crying or anything else the nurses seemed to expect from the "nutcases" (their word) who go natural, so they thought I wasn't feeling anything! In truth, I am just not one to act out my pain; I never have been.

Another thing no one tells you beforehand--you will have a ream of forms to sign. Best if you can have someone there with you to help out. And I was pre-registered. Still, I had to let them know things about my level of understanding, and my religious preferences. Think the twits even inquired about my food preferences then.

Then there was the epidural pimp. Came in waving papers and would not believe me when I said no. Told me that epidurals are "perfectly harmless," which of course isn't true. Bad complications are pretty rare, ranging from 1 in 3,000 to about 1 in a million, depending on the study, but they do happen. I was in pain and in no mood to be lied to.

I also found dialation checks to be painful as heck, though I gather plenty of women don't. My cervix stayed high, which was one problem, and neither doctor had a lick of bedside manner. (This is the labor where I got into an argument with a doctor who believed episiotomies--which the ACOG stopped recommending nearly 10 years ago--were the best thing since sliced bread.) Still, I cannot imagine any circumstances under which having a fist shoved up one's vagina can possibly be a pleasant experience.

All in all, I found the contractions to be the least bothersome part of the day. It pays to search out in advance, if at all possible, a hospital that is OK with intermittent fetal monitoring and changing positions (really, on your back your baby has to work against gravity). Even better is if you can avoid dialation exams, since that theory about dialating 1cm an hour quite rarely happens exactly that way (I've talked to two women who don't dialate at all until transition, which is a lovely way to wind up sectioned for "failure to progress").

I wound up with a c-section for a breech baby, but I'll talk about that in concert with my next birth, since it was also c-section (planned VBAC but another footling breech, and at the time I didn't know that breech birth is usually safe).

Linda's Birth

This labor started with my water breaking. Now, I gather most women do not get the gush I got. But I kept losing what seemed like a huge amount of fluid. Soaked the bed. Soaked the carpet in several spots. Finally waddled around with a towel between my legs as I got ready to go to the hospital. Remembered the advice that you should use a maxi pad to soak up the fluid. Still managed to soak through my pants on the drive to the hospital, which made for a wonderful walk through a very crowded ER up to L&D. They did ask if I had anything with fluid on it, so they could examine it (to check for meconium, I assume) and were more than happy to carry off my maxi pad. (These folks have seen it all.)

Now, I did have some contractions, but they were very mild. Felt like nothing more than consciously tensing and relaxing any muscle. I don't know if that's what contractions are normally like for me, but I do know that the women in my family have a history of not being bothered by contractions until their water is broken. So it's a very individual thing, obviously.

In L&D, once again I got hooked up to the monitors. Once again, reams of paper to sign. By then they'd converted a lot to computer, so it wasn't so bad. BTW, you get a great "psycho lady" look from the nurse when you respond "**** no" to the circumcision question.

I avoided a dialation check this time by telling the doctor I was certain the baby was breech. No, no ultrasound, but a foot in the cervix feels just like that. They were more than happy to take my word for it. I got another IV, & this time they managed to get it in the crook of my elbow. There's this wonderful cocktail of drugs you get to take before a c-section, including two different antacids (vomiting is apparently a common reaction to anesthesia). You also get the wonderful c-section pep talk where they tell you you could die, you could hemmorhage, they could slice your bladder open instead of your uterus...

They took me to the OR before they gave me the spinal. I had the same anesthesia with my first daughter, and when the nurse came in that time he said he was glad I hadn't opted for an epidural, because a spinal was much preferred for c-sections. Less that can go wrong, I gather. I do indeed know a lady whose epidural took only on one side. I am of the opinion that that can be avoided through good communication with the anesthesiologist, and I think she must have truly been whacked out of her mind to have allowed her c-section to continue under those circumstances! The spinal the first time was very simple. In, slight adjustment, quick numbness. Oh, they do give you a numbing shot before they stick the needle for the anesthesia in your back. Things didn't go so smoothly the second time. I have not only a curvature of the spine but a twist of the spine, which apparently means I had a damned good nurse the first time. The second time it took multiple stabs (I quit counting after five), and longer to get in the spinal than to perform the surgery. I was fixing to beg for general when the nurse left for someone more experienced, and they wound up using an epidural setup to get the spinal in. I have no idea what that means, I just overheard it.

I got numb pretty fast from the ribcage down. This is about what they aim for. It's not a total feeling of deadness, but it's close. I didn't feel the nurse pinching me to check if it had taken (I think he was mad it'd taken him so long to get it in me!). When they cut me open, I could tell it was happening, but it didn't hurt. It was kind of like someone pulling your hand, no pain at all.

Ah, before I forget. It was standard practice at my hospital to strap your arms down for a c-section. I gather that most places do this but not all, and you can certainly ask for it not to be done. They just want to keep your arms out of the sterile surgical field.

Postpartum Recovery

Technically after the birth experience, but still part of it. My recovery after my first c-section was simple. Except for the mag, which makes you so weak you cannot get out of bed. And I had to be on that for 24 hours after birth. And guess what, I didn't get any food either. Only 6 oz of liquid every hour. And I usually drink about a quart of water each hour to 90 minutes. It was horrible.

Second recovery was actually worse. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia this time around. I got the shivers--hard. I wasn't cold, I just couldn't stop shaking. I also itched all over (learned later there was a good chance they snuck some morphine in on me).

Common to both recoveries was the constant presence of a nurse and regular blood pressure checks. The second time, the nurse kept having to re-check it. It would come back as dangerously low the first time, but since I was obviously coherent and feeling OK, she'd recheck it and it would come back as normal. If memory serves, a drop in blood pressure is the best indication of postpartum hemorrhage, so they have to keep a very close eye on you after a c-section. (They should after a vag birth too, but those are normal for the vast majority of women.) Feeling returns slowly, from the toes up. I kept getting asked if I could wiggle my toes. Rule was I had to be able to get myself from the gurney to the hospital bed to be able to leave recovery, so I had to show the nurse I could lift my legs. Coming out of the spinal was a lot like having blood flow return after you've been sitting on your foot, same pins-and-needles thing.

I also threw up twice after my second surgery. Not in the recovery room, in the hospital room. They make sure you have a basin to hand. It's apparently pretty common, but it made them not want to feed me! Witches. I did, at least, get a steady supply of water. They made me sit up on the side of my bed for a while before they'd let me get up, and I had to have a nurse present when I got up for the first time. Makes sense for safety, but irritating as all get-out. Oh, and they are obsessed with your bodily functions. You have to prove to them that you can both pee and poop. The first time, I actually had to measure my first urine output. And then once I could get up, I kept getting *****ed at for not walking enough! (I was doing it in my room, not out in the hallway where they could see.) Feh.

Couple more things: if you possibly can, have your hubby or someone go to the nursery with the baby for the initial after-birth check, and don't let up on the "don't give my baby formula" theme. Nurseries are notorious for slipping formula or sugar water (another unnecessary thing) to the babies of moms they know want to breastfeed. If you have any problems, ask for a lactation consultant. My experience with postpartum nurses is that they know next to nothing about breastfeeding. I got told with my first that I was having problems because my breasts were too big. And with the second I was told I should "make" her nurse more.

Last thing: if you possibly can, make sure they sew you up rather than staple you, if you have a c-section. Not only is the sound of a staple gun rather disconcerting in an operating room, but it's not fun to walk around with staples in your gut. Ask beforehand about hospital policy. Sutures are supposed to be the standard these days, but I've talked to plenty of women who were stapled up like I was.

Anyone else? I know everyone has a different experience & makes different decisions. The more input the better!

Awesome idea Sabra! Let me dig out my birth stories. I was totally addicted to reading birth stories when PG with #1.

Let's see...PG #1

I was seeing an OB practice in the beginning, but after being told that i shouldn't gain more than 20 lbs. because of my size, I got PO'd and found a midwife at 23 wks. She was pretty medically oriented, if that makes sense, as opposed to being more naturally oriented, but she was the only one that had priviliges at my hospital. We went to Bradley classes, which were awesome. My due date came and went. Exactly one week late labor finally started. It was 1 am on 1/22/03 when I woke up with "gas pains". I went to the bathroom a couple times, but nothing was happening. Finally I realized the gas pains we coming and going every 7 minutes or so, and must be contractions. DH went to work and I just tried to pay attention to the contractions. I ate cereal and drank water. I was fine most of the day, but by 3 pm I was having a hard time and called DH to come home. He came home at 4. I spoke with my MW every couple hours to give her an update. We called her at around 9 pm and told her we wanted to come in, because I was having a lot of pain. She told me to drink a shot of whatever alcohol we had in the house, as it would slow the contrations! I drank 2 shots of rootbeer schnapps, which is all we had! It did nothing. We got to the hospital around 9:45 and they checked me. I was just 4 cm. I got an LDR room and changed into a night shirt. Oh, BTW, I had spent most of the day sitting on my exercise ball, which was awesome! Of course I brought it with me. DH inflated it and I got back on. I think it was around 12:30 that I was not quite 6 cm, and she broke my water. By around 4:30 I was 10 cm. and ready to push. Oh, I had some Demerol a little before that because I couldn't relax my body enough between cx for him to move down. At that point I had to get in bed, and I was passed out between cx. I puked right after they gave me demerol, which is pretty common. After 3 sets of pushes, Peter came flying out at 4:59 am on 1/23/03! He was 8.14 lbs. and 19.5"...although we think they measured him wrong, because he definitely was longer than that! I tore pretty bad, and she stitched me up, which hurt like ****. I felt great and was showered and walking around by the time they moved me to the room. They were yelling at me to sit down and be wheeled to the room!

PG #2

I had switched MW's because I did not like the one I used with Peter. I was going to a different hospital and found a pair of awesome MW's! Another good PG, not complications. I did turn up GB+ for this one, which annoyed me, because it meant I'd have to have antibiotics during labor. Again my EDD came and went. MW talked to me about induction, because it was another big baby. They wanted to induce at 38 wks., but I said no, I'll think about it at 40 wks. So at 40 wks. we decided that if he didn't come by the end of the week, we'd induce. He didn't, we did! I was terrified that induction = c/s. They promised me it did not always mean that, and there was no reason to think I'd need one because of my previous birth. We got to the hospital, exercise ball in tow, at 8:00pm on 1/12/05. I got all checked in and changed and at 10:20pm they inserted the Cervadil. That was VERY uncomfortable because my cervix sits waay back...they had to find a nurse with long fingers...no joke! Soon after I was feeling uncomfortable...not sure what to do with myself. I stood around, swaying, I sat on the ball. DH actually wasn't going to stay, becuase they said the Cervadil would soften my cervix and they'd probably start the Pit in the AM. I told the nurse I was having what felt like Cx and she told me that feeling was common, but it wasn't cx, it was just pains. Another nurse came in...not my "designated" nurse, and DH told her that the way I was acting was very much like when I was having Cx the first time. She said she certainly wasn't going to tell me they weren't Cx... When my MW got there, think it was around 1:30 or so, she checked me and things were moving along. I don't remember what time she broke my water, but I remember every cervix check hurt like ****! The cx were much stronger too. They continued to monitor me and ended up putting an O2 mask on me, because baby's HR was decelign after a cx. I didn't know until afterwards, but they were a little concerned by that. Once I had the O2, things got better. By around 4am I was done and ready to push. Robby came flying out at 4:15am at 9.4 lbs., 20.5". He was pretty blue, but pink'd up right away. I think he got a 9 & 9 on his APGARs. I tore a little, but she didn't think stitches were necessary. OH, at some point I asked for drugs and they gave me Nubain...wonderful stuff, didn't make me puke and just took the edge off, kind of like a good buzz after a few drinks! I highly recommend it!!

There's my birth stories off the top of my head! I'll look them up tonight when I get home and if there's anything more significant to post, I will! Hope this helps some of you 1 timers.

No birthing nightmares for me. I'm VERY pain sensitive. So you better believe I'd already signed for the epidural and had specifically requested it long before the due date. LOL

I worked up until the 7th month. But since I was in a hot factory and constantly on my feet doing manual labor, I had only gained 11 pounds. I was still wearing my regular jeans. And I was just 132 pounds when I got pregnant with my daughter. So I certainly should have been gaining more weight. I was working it all off. So the doc had me quit work and I shot up in the next two months, adding another 25 pounds.

When the due date rolled around, I was ready and dilated, but she wasn't popping out, so the doc said if I wasn't in labor by Friday to check into the hospital. I was checked in around 4:00 p.m. They gave me the epidural and induced my labor. My water broke, her dad feignted and all the nurses ran to assist him. She came along at 2:05 a.m. Saturday and we both left the hospital at noon on Sunday.

Now if only this one is going to be THAT easy. I get the feeling though that he's got a few surprises in store for me.

Lilly's birth story
I had been having "False labor" off and on for two weeks before she was born.
I had my last appt. on Dec. 23, 2002. The midwife wasn't able to strip my membranes because my cervix was too far back and still at a 1-2 and 50%. So I went to my mom's house--the weather was bad and we didn't want to be too far away from the hospital. That night I started having some pretty intense regular contractions. I gave up trying to time them because they were already 1-4 min. apart so I was told either if my water breaks or the contractions become unbearable to come back.
On Christmas eve morning, I saw Nancy--the sweetest midwife of the group and she told me again no change. She said baby and I were doing fine and I burst into tears and said no I wasn't. She could tell that I had about had it at being pregnant. Plus she was the first one who's been seeing me to tell me that Lilly was posterior and that's one of the reasons I wasn't progressing. She told me to try and get on my hands and knees through the contractions to get her to turn her head.
So she goes and calls the doctor on call to see about inducing me that day but because of the holiday schedule all the personnel needed for an induction wasn't on site. So she scheduled us for an induction on Friday, December 27. She gave me a shot of something to help me sleep (I had had maybe 6 hours in the last 3 days before that) She said if they were true labor they would be there still if not the shot would help them to go away.
Well they went away until Thursday, December 26. I started having a bloody show as well. We stayed the night at mom's again and my contractions were even more intense than before. I slept maybe 2 hours and I finally couldn't take it anymore. We were supposed to be at the hospital at 8 a.m. and got there an hour early. The nurse checked me and I was a definite 2 and the cervix was a lot lower. She got me admitted and put in my room. The midwife came by to check me again around 8:30 and I was at a 3 and while she was checking me my water broke, which was a good thing because they already had one induction going and they wouldn't have been able to induce me (I would now be an augmented instead of inducted). She suggested I get into the shower and then I'd get moved into my labor room. The shower helped out a lot but the contractions were still painful. I had already decided I would be getting that epidural as soon as they said I could.
I got set up in the labor room and the pitocin started shortly. They weren't kidding when they said it brought the contractions on more strongly. Again they suggested I get into the shower for at least an hour. I made it about 45 minutes before I started puking. She came back and checked me and I was a 4 but she wanted the baby to drop more before giving me an epidural so I was given another shot of something that makes you sleep. I was actually able to sleep through the majority of my contractions. I really couldn't tell you the time line on all of this. I know I made it into my room around 9:30 or so and I think it was around 12:30 I got my epidural. I remember her coming back in and I was a definite 5.
They had to stop the pitocin once I got the epi because Lilly wasn't reacting well with it. So they would try and start it up again. I went from 5-6 really quickly but stayed at 6 for the next 2 checks. The pitocin was making Lilly's heartbeat drop and my contractions without the pitocin weren't strong enough to get my cervix to open further so around 3:30 Nancy came in and told me the news--Lilly was going to come out through cesarean. I had already prepared myself before we went into the hospital that it would probably happen. I did request that they at least look at the option of a bikini cut (I'm obese and I know they generally immediately go for the throat to toes cut).
Since I had the epidural I was told that I could have someone in the room with me and mom was going to go. They started getting me all ready and everything and took mom down to the waiting area. I get strapped to that awful table and the anestesiologist starts increasing my epi again and one of the nurses comes back and says that mom now won't be able to come in.
So they finally get me numb enough where I can't feel anything. I could feel the tugging, etc. and I knew when they got her head out. Let me tell you that was the longest wait, listening for her cry. I finally heard her and they said it's a girl. That was the sweetest moment and I started to cry as well. I really, really wanted a baby girl and Jeff and I held out and didn't find out her sex beforehand.
The anistesiologist was great. He kept checking on me to make sure I was okay and got me a kleenex to wipe my tears. I hear them say her apgars were 8 and 9 and then they had to take her to the nursery to get the rest.
They said she weighed 8lbs. 8oz. and was 19.9 inches long. Her head and chest were both 13 3/4".
It seemed like it took forever for them to sew me back up and then even longer in the recovery room. I just remember sitting in there and someone coming over occasionally telling me to take deep breaths. I told them I planned on breast feeding to try and wait for me. I got back to my room and was told I needed to feed her now before her blood sugar levels went too low. We did okay in the hospital and we were finally released on Monday, December 30. She weighed 7 lbs. 11 oz. upon being released.

William's birth story
We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. By 6:30 a.m. I was prepped and ready. It took 4 tries to get in the IV. I had already decided that if the nurses couldn't get in the IV on the fourth try I was going to ask for someone from lab to come and do it. The first one actually took but the needle wouldn't retract. Let me tell you that catheter was way worse than all 4 of those IV tries combined. It took forever to get used to having that thing in.
I was too excited to sleep. Another nurse came in around 8 a.m. and told me I was now the fourth in line for surgery and as soon as they heard from the surgery department they would let me know what time I would be having him. They told me it would be sometime that afternoon.
So we sat around and waited and waited and waited. Around 11:30 someone from surgery came and took me and mom away. For me to sit in the hallway of surgery and wait and wait. They were wrapping up a knee surgery in the surgery room. This hospital doesn't have a separate OB surgery. It just has the one surgery room. I think there may have been another room across the hall but I couldn't tell. The anestesiologist came by and checked out my IV but wasn't happy with it. He put on a new bag of fluid and the cuff thing on it and pumped it way up to try and get that whole bag through me before surgery. He asked if it was all right if he needed to to put in another IV. I told him one more stick wouldn't hurt. When they wheeled me into surgery, my IV blew out so I did get another one. It just took him a few seconds and had it running again. I saw the size of the epidural needle this time. That thing is huge. I'm pretty sure he got it in the first try. I started getting nauseous so I was put almost upside down on my head. (I wasn't down that far but it sure felt like it.) They started prepping me as my legs were going numb. I could feel some pain up on my belly and just knew the doc was going to cut me up and down and not in my other incision. They went and got mom and she said the doctor already had me cut open when she walked into the room. I thought he was still prepping me because he never asked if I still had feeling.
They put the curtain up too high so she couldn't see what was going on. The next thing I know I'm hearing a cry. Like I said I thought the doc was marking where to cut or something. I could tell mom was about to start crying. He came out at 12:42 p.m. His apgars were 8 and 9. Mom said he was all blue when they took him over and they had to make him cry to get all the gunk out of his mouth and lungs. Mom was able to carry him to the nursery for the rest of his evaluations. They called back to tell us he weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. They didn't tell me how long he was at the time.
I was taken over to recovery and stayed awake the whole time. Parts of me were starting to wake up and they said they could give me something for the pain but I knew I would be going back to my room soon and didn't want to be groggy. I finally got to go back and they still hadn't brought in William. More of me was waking up and I was starting to hurt a bit. They took my IV machine away to get it set up for the pain meds. They bring it back and told me they were out of morphine for those machines, so I would be getting demorol. I wasn't too happy with that but what could I do. They also didn't have any of the leg cuffs to help with circulation in the hospital either and that worried me because of the possibility of clots. They just got the pain meds started and of course I'm really fighting sleep but I managed to stay awake.
They finally brought William to me and I went to start breastfeeding him and noticed he had milk all over his t-shirt. I was so mad because I had been very specific when I told them I planned on B/F as soon as possible. When I spoke to the nurse later she said she had no clue when I would be getting out of recovery. My thought is she could've picked up the phone and found out. So he didn't latch on well for me. He's doing super now. The night before we were released he was down to 6lbs15oz.
We were released Friday afternoon around 3 p.m.

Like Sabra, I have learned a lot from both of these births and I will be armed better with this one. I plan on consulting a real lactation consultant this time and haver her on site if necessary to keep them from feeding my baby before I get out of recovery or have them bring the baby to me there. Both of my baby's lost a lot of weight with me breastfeeding and my milk came in quickly. They just weren't getting enough of the fatty milk. I even had a nurse in the peds office tell me in a room full of people that my baby had to gain weight or I would have to stop breastfeeding with William.

I 100% agree that you need to do your research and ask tons of questions. I did have a birth plan in place with Lilly but I don't think I ever took it out of the bag. I also did not know that they could've tried to turn her to get her out of being posterior (my daycare owner's daughter just had her baby and they were able to turn her and she went from a 6 to a 10 rather quickly.)

the old saying that knowledge is power is true. Make sure your SO or coach knows your wishes. Write them down if necessary.

Well--- I've been scared about what to expect! I am excited though. I know it will all be worth it. I appreciate hearing all of your experiences. I have been watching Discovery Health Channels Birth story show, its pretty informative although, they cut out a lot of the screaming and agnoy that I think some women go through. I plan to get an epidural I have no threshold for pain, seriously. I pass out every time they stick me for blood. I am worried how I will handle the pain. I don't want to be a wimp but I know myself. You all have survived, I will too-- I guess! lol

This is a great thread.

I've been watching a lot of Discovery Health's Birth Story and Maternity Ward shows too (lol). I've learned a lot from those because the dr and nurses always explain to the tv camera what they're doing and why. I've also been reading many birth stories on pg web sites, basically came up with Dawnyal's conclusion...research beforehand and have a plan (but also to be open-minded during labor/delivery because no one, except God, really knows what will happen). Like a story I read from a mom that planned a natural home birth with her MW, but was rushed to the hospital at the last minute for an emergency c-sect. Obviously not what she planned for and at first she was disappointed. But in the end, she was happy that she was OK and had a healthy baby. I'm hoping with all the reading, along with classes and asking my dr's tons of questions, my DH and I will at least have some understanding what's happening and be able to make informed decisions.

We'll see come D-Day!

I hate "A Baby Story." Ninety percent of those births are way too medicalized for my tastes. Then again, both of mine were. It was watching "Birth Day Live" on Discovery Health that convinced me I'm having a home birth this time, come **** or high water. (Well, obviously there are complications that would require transfer.) About the time they had a doctor on there saying that there's no reason to let a woman go into labor on her own, because ultrasound is so good at predicting size (it's not) and there's no way a 37 weeker won't be ready to come out (many are not), I was about ready to start screaming!

One book I would recommend to anyone is Dr Sears's The Birth Book. It has the clearest explanation I have found of the true progression of labor, what does and does not constitute an emergency, and even prenatal tests. Best of all is the section on pain relief during labor. I know the only thing I was offered was an epidural, but there are other things you can get that lessen the likelihood of other interventions.

Do the research you can, and if at all possible, have somebody there with you who can advocate on your behalf. Talk frankly with your husband beforehand and see if he will be able to do it. My hospital experience was that they would come in and say "We're going to do such-and-such now" and expect me to go ahead with it. And being in labor doesn't set you up psychologically to be your own advocate. But, YOU HAVE A LEGAL RIGHT TO REFUSE ANY INTERVENTION. This means you can tell them to stuff routine dialation checks, continual fetal monitoring, artificial rupture of the membranes. They can refuse you service in theory, but in practice I doubt any hospital will kick out a woman in the midst of giving birth; the liability is too high.

If you possibly can, learn about your hospital's standard procedures in advance. Do a Google search on anything that particularly concerns you. Learn the risks of procedures in advance, and if you have to be induced, please, please learn in advance exactly what they intend to do it with. There are lawyers out there right now making fortunes suing doctors for using Cytotec in inductions (this is a drug for treatment of ulcers that has a very large red box on the side saying NOT to give it to pregnant women because of the high risk of uterine rupture, and yet it's a standard part of most hospitals' repertoires these days). I would suggest looking into things like artificial rupture of the membranes (which is often done to "speed up" labor; imagine my surprise when I discovered there's no evidence it does!), continual fetal monitoring, epidural side effects (there is a tiny risk it could kill you or leave you paralyzed, but I'd be more concerned about the routine side effects), Pitocin, & episiotomy.

So, do your research and prepare yourself as best as possible...And then relax and realize there's a lot you won't be able to control in the end. While true failure to progress is rare, it does happen (and like Dawnyal found, it's often caused by malpositioning). If your baby flips to breech in labor...Well, it may well be safe to birth a breech baby, but good luck in finding a hospital that will allow it, especially if you're a first time mom. Some women (like me) found the pain to be less than expected, others find it to be worse. Things as minor as the hospital having problems with the birth tub and so not allowing you in can happen. Control what you can, don't feel guilty about what you can't.

Well said Sabra! The only things I can add are that I would definitely choose Nubain over Demerol as pain relief. As I said in my earlier post, Nubain gave a nice "buzzed" feeling, while Demerol knocked me out inbetween Cx...and didn't do anything for the pain. Nubain also didn't make me vomit, as Demerol is known for doing.

Discuss your wishes/birth plan with your care provider. See how they feel about routine procedures and if they agree with you. If they don't, try to come to some common middle ground on things.

When you get to the hospital, kiss the nurses asses! I'm not kidding, some are really nice and understanding, others are there to do a job. The nicer you are and the more you "work" with them, the better off you'll be! Bring bagels/donuts/any goodies! I know this all sounds insane, but I'm telling you, they'll love it! My mom was a nurse in a hospital for years and she told me they love that stuff! With #1, my mom met us there with a dozen donuts and assorted muffins and bagels for the nurses (it was night shift). My nurse was awesome...better than my MW...which I don't attribute to the goodies, but still... With #2, I did not care for my nurse, but the other nurse that came in (the one with the longer fingers!), was awesome!

If you have not already, start doing perineal massage. Here's a link how: http://childbirth.org/articles/massage.html If you can't do it yourself, have DH do it! This will help reduce the risk of tearing...which I think is better then episiotomy.

I don't know if this is standard practice in all hospitals, because they didn't do this with #1, but after I gave birth to #2, the nurse pushed down on my stomach soooo hard, to get all the blood out. I was screaming in pain, because she was basically putting all her weight on my stomach! I actually had black and blue marks on my stomach! The benefit though, was that I did not have a lot of bleeding afterwards. I mean, it was significant, but not for weeks and weeks.

Along the same lines, they want you to pee right away. If you cannot pee, they will cathederize you! That was pretty uncomfortable! I cannot remember the reason they said they need to do it, but I want to say it has something to do with infection? Can anyone else help me out here?

**Those great icepacks they give you...use them!! They feel wonderful!!
**Bring your own ratty underwear...the disposable net ones they give you don't fit fat girls!
**The pads are OK, but with #2, they actually gave me some adult diapers, which were wonderful! I didn't have to worry about waking up in a puddle in the bed. I would ask for them if they don't offer them!
**Bring home the "chucks" they give you. That's the pads they put down under you to catch spills.
**Order ALOT of food from the menus! You will be ravenous! And thirsty! My hospital actually had a little kitchen for patients that was stocked with beverages and food, so if you're starving in the middle of the night, you can grab a turkey sandwich out of the fridge.
**Make it a point to see the lactation consultant and go to the BF'ing class! If you don't see the LC within 12 hrs., ask to see her! Even if you didn't/don't plan to breastfeed, please consider trying! Breastmilk is soo good for your baby, it's specially made just for him! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends BF'ing exclusively for the first six months, and continuing for up to 1 yr. once you've started solids. ANY amount of time is better than nothing though! The first couple weeks of breastfeeding is absolutely the hardest time you will go through! It will be painful, you're nipples will be sore, possibly cracked and even bleeding. Nobody tells you this! Get yourself a big tube of Pure Lanolin ointment and use it after every feeding. No need to clean your nipples off, it's safe for babies. Make sure that EVERYBODY you talk to knows that your baby DOES NOT get a pacifier or formula! They should have a note in the bassinet with him saying that.

If you're circumsizing, there's a product they use, can't remember the name of it, but they apply it an hour or something before they do it, and it numbs the area. It's supposed to be good. With #1, they didn't use anything, I read in the paperwork that they gave him a sugar water pacifier...which pissed me off! They used this product with #2.

Alright, I'm off my high horse for now!

Hello,

I saw your thread today and decided I had to add my 2 cents. I am a mother of three, and I had my first child way to young at age 17.

My first child~
I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy with my first son. I read every single book, or anything I could get my hands on about childirth. We went to childbirh classes, so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect, or so I thought. I was due with my son on October 14, 1995. After a week came and went, I went back to the doctor on Oct.19.They did an ultrasound, and decided that I better get induced the next day because my son was big, and that he was out of room. I checked ito the hospital the next morning. They started all of the meds, I culdn't get the pill that softens your cevix because I have asthma, and I guess it causes reactions. The pitocin was started at 7 am. I was ok until about noon, and the pain was so bad I was trying to escape from the hospital. hey gave me demoral, and I started to feel a little better. After a bit again, I reqese an epidural. They gave it to me, and I rested for awile. They moved me to a labor and delivery room about 7pm, and they were getting me redy to have te baby. Well, the stupid monitors that they insist you wear kept slipping off with very contraction. THe Dr on call rushed in, and insisted that they prep me immediatly for a c-section. I told her about the monitor slipping, but she still demanded a c-section. I started crying, and was so upset. I requested another dr. he came in and checked me, and said I was fine, he would scrub up, and be right back. Come to find out, the first dr. was new out of school, and a freak show. Aso, I had an internal monitor on the babys head, but she failed to check those readings..My water finally broke, and things moved fast from there. I pushed for an hour and a half, to no avail. The dr used the vacuum, and finally foceps. My son finally was born at 8:49 pm on OCt. 20, 1995,8lbs, 11 ozs, 20 inches long. I had an episotomy, and it was horrible. I was in pain for a week after wards, plus I had pain from hemmoroids, but I was never told about them. I was sent home the next morning rom the hospital. I nursed my son for awile, but just couldnt keep up..

2nd~~

My second pregnancy was just as uneventful. Again I was over due, and my son had dropped. My first son never dropped so I had no clue what was going on. My second dropped so much that I felt like he was constanty falling out. A week overdue, I was induced again. THis time they broke my water, and I was ok for awile. I started having horrible pain. I again got an epidural, bu it didnot help the back pain. I had a lump the size of a softball. IT was horrible. At 11:49pm on March 2, 1997 my second son was born. The lump on my back was is head, he was born sunny side up,or face up, so his head was resting on my back bone. Ater a failed relationship with the dad of my sons. I found a new love. We dated 4 years, and got married.

#3~~
I found out I was pregnant in Nov. 2002 after 3 days of trying. I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy for the first few months. WHen I was 6 months pregnant, I was rearended on my way to work. I was hit by a policeman. He asked me if I was ok, and I was hysterical. HE then left me there on the side of the road,and took off. After a few minutes, I let back to work. After arriving towork, I started having pain, so I went to the hospital. got there, and after monitoring all day, they sent me home, and told me to rest. After that I was so scared to drive on the freeway, I made my poor husband follow me because I was terriid of being rear ended again. We were driving along, and a car cut in front of my husband. I started panicking, but decided I was fine. Ater 5 minutes, traffic stopped. I looked up to see where my husband was. He was 2 cars behind me and all I saw after that was a huge cloud of smoke. I got rearended again, but this time I saw everything, as did my husband who was behind the guy. He slammed into me at 45-50 miles an hour, and I was dead stopped. My husband rushed over, and I was histerical again. The other guy was bleeding allover, he was lookingfor something on the floor when he hit me, and had no seatbelt on. I started having contractions, and was taken to the trauma hospital in Albuquerque. hey immediatly gave me meds to stop the contractions. The first two rounds didn't work, I was having contractions every 5 minutes. THis was the first baby for my husband, so he was so freaked out. Oh, and it was a girl, so we were double freaked that our dream of a girl would be lost. Th doctors told me that if she did happen to be born ealy, that she would probably be ok because I was 8 months, and my boys were both good sized. After a day I was finally ok. I went back to work, and I had to go to weeky chiropractic appts because of problems after the accident. I had a ford windstar van, and I was told the only reaon I wasn't hurt more was because my van was long, and I had 2 rows of seats that cushoned the accident. My back window was shattered, and the back seat was pushed right behind the drivers seat. The worst part was that we had just purchased the car, it was only 3 months old!! I made it to full term, and I as actualy induced week early because of my boys big size, and the trouble getting them out. I got all the usual stuff,and was ok for awile. I got started at 8:00 am. I was ok until about 3, and I requested an epidural again. I got it right after that. I was doing ok again until about 10:30 pm, and I was having excruating pain on my left side of my body. Apparently the eppidural wore off on that side. I recieved more meds, and was told I had a 2 hour window of my pain meds to work, and after that they could not give me anything else. THat scared the **** out of me. I was finally dilated to 10, and the nurse wanted me to do some practice pushes. I pushed once, and she said oh my god, don't push anymore, let me get the dr. My mom said the head was almost out when I pushed. THe dr came in, I pushed 5 times, and my princess was born at 12:48 pm on July 24, 2003. My experience with my daughter was so beautiful because I was in a room that faced our beautiful mountains, so I got to ee them all day, and when she was born it was totally dark except for the moon and stars outside. After her birth, she had jaundice, so we were taking her everyday for blood tests. My poor husband was tramatized from the whole pregnancy withe the wrecks, and the long labor, and then the jaundice. He started having pani attacks. HE is finally ok, and I have been trying for two years now to get him on board for another baby but he just isnt going for it. I am stil trying though!! I never ad te problems of the nurses feeding the babies, I kept mine in the room with me as often as possible.

As for advise, I had a lot of family in and out with my first~my sister even tried to film while they were checking to see if I was dilated!! Only have a select few, it makes it sooooooooooo much better!!

Also if you feel uncomfortable with a dr or nurse, request a new one. I have a cousin who is a nurse, and she said moms do it all the time. They are there to help YOU,and you should feel safe with them.

3rd~ Stick to your plans, don't let anyone try and change your mind. My step mom had a fit that my sister wanted an epidural, and tryed to talk her out of it with the help of my brother in law. They don't know how you feel, it's your body!!!!


Amanda

I have to read through all of these great posts when I have time and add my own birth story. I just wanted to say that you should prepare a birth plan and be well educated about the birth experience you want and your hospital's policies, etc. You should also know that sometimes things happen that throw that birth plan right out the window, so be prepared for that as well!

I love birthing stories, I watched the shows on the discovery chanel the whole time I was prego and still watch them. I still cry at the end of almost all of the shows.

My sons birth was pretty easy. I had a non complicated pregnancy and I was going to a midwife group. Though I didn't love them, I had done some looking around a figured they would be more likely to accomidate my input into the event. I wasn't their normal client, not that I know what their normal was, but they always seemed a little out of sorts, and they kind of didn't know how to deal with me. I was partner less and they really wanted me to hire a doula and when I wouldn't they tried to get one to vollunteer but I didn't realy want a stranger in my birthing room plus even with out a partener I had about 6 people from my family present at the birth.

But anyway, the midwife was very good at the delivery. I was right around my due date and in the middle of the night, my water broke. I called the midwife and they said to come in in the morning to get checked if I wasn't having contractions. I did that and the baby had droped and I wasn't leaking water but still no contractions. The whole day went by and I was maybe having mild discofort but nothing to crazy. The midwife said I would have to be induced if it didn't start to happen soon. She suggested I drink castor oil to speed up the process. So I did, and I could tell somthing was happening but still no real pain but I called her and said meet me at the hospital. As soon as I entered the hospital, I had to get an IV because I had that step thing they test you for and right then, I felt my first real contraction. and I thought I was going to throw up. The nurses were awsome. They helped me get through the contractions. Once the Midwife came, she was probably there for about an an hour and the contractions were bad but I thought because things had only been hapening for about 2 hours that they were the easy ones. I was preparing my self for them getting worse and was ready to ask for some pain meds. I was walking around and trying to breath through them and the MW wanted to put an iternal monitor on the baby and when she did that she was like oh you are ready to push. The whole thing was so fast, I started pushing and I'm sure it took a while but it felt like it didn't. She was like OK, one more big push and he shot out. Then the afterbirth came out and that felt good because my son had torn up my insides and it was all nice and easy to get that part out. I did tear really badly because it happened so fast and the stiches after were the worst part of the whole thing. I demanded some meds for that part. She said I ripped almost all the way through to my other side. Yuck! Still to this day, I have pain down there when I go to the bathroom.

But its all worth it for my cute son that I can't believe he was every that small. Now he is 4 and it goes by so fast. If you are about to have a baby cherish those baby days because before you know it they will be gone and you will have a big kid on your hands and thats when the fun begins!

I wish I would have known about the Pure Lanolin ointment when I had my children. I really hated it when they got hungry because I knew I was going to be in pain. I ended up biting down on a piece of leather (just like the cowboys!) when my kids nursed. Luckily, it didn't last too long, but I wish I had been prepared.

Both my children were home births with no drugs, monitors or anything. I highly recommend home birth! Noticed that my DIL had a hospital room with a big tub in it so she soaked in the tub. This is something I did at home, and it was relaxing so I recommend it if you can. I also walked a lot around my neighborhood, and DIL walked the hospital corridors. I think the more time you spend vertical, the better.

Amanda, I think I would be traumatized by two wrecks in one day as well! You know, I've been rearended in both this pregnancy & the one before, but thankfully at a low rate of speed both times. Let's all remember to wear our seatbelts, OK? It can be a little hard to get them adjusted to lie across your thighs like they're supposed to, but much better than the alternative.

I want to mention Spinning Babies again. Great source of info. Even incorporating just a few of the things on the site, it definitely feels like this baby is head-down! And I know I'm only 25 weeks, but believe me, neither girl was head-down at this point in my pregnancy.

I don't have any personal experience with Demerol, but one of my cousins had it and said the same thing LBH mentioned--it merely knocked her out between contractions and didn't help with the pain in the slightest. Boy, she was mad about it too!

Now, my other little soapbox issue. We've all seen on "A Baby Story" how everyone gathers around the mom and starts hollering at her to push, right? It's called Valsalva pushing. I'd really recommend doing some research on this. It's standard procedure, but like a whole bunch of other standard procedures, it's of dubious benefit. The WHO says of it:

Which basically means that the way women are told to push--the way that is presented to us as normal--may well be harmful. I can think offhand of a couple of birth stories where an emergency c-section was necessitated because of fetal heartrate decelerations during pushing...

I had my first baby February 15, 2003, and am now pregnant with #2.

I developed high blood pressure at about six months with #1 and was on & off bed rest until 33 weeks, at which point I was put on bed rest continuously. I was allowed to stay home, thankfully, but only to get up once an hour to use the bathroom and a five minute shower per day. My bp was normal & good so long as I laid down; it skyrocketed anytime I was sitting up or standing up.

At 39 weeks I had my 4th ultrasound to check on the baby (PIH can make it more difficult for the baby to receive nourishment). They said everything looked good and she appeared to be about 6 1/2 lbs. My doctor had mentioned induction, but he's pretty laidback & old fashioned, and I also agreed, we wanted to wait as long as possible.

The next day, I started having a terrible backache about 9 a.m. Sort of like the menstrual cramps you get in your lower back. I also started having bowel movements like every 15 minutes. Not diarrhea, just urgency. My body was "cleaning out" I guess! At 1 p.m. I started having some pinkish/red spotting and heavy discharge and called the doctor's office. They said to go in to L&D and "get checked out."

My husband came home from work and we went in. We spent 2 hours in a tiny, windowless triage room (I hate those rooms!!!) hooked up to a fetal monitor and finally they announced I was not in labor. This was a Friday, and my doctor said I could either spend the night and be induced in the morning, or go home and wait it out. This was February, very snowy & cold, and we had brought our bags, so we opted to stay and have the induction.

We were just kind of hanging out in the room (at our hospital you labor & deliver in the same room, no moving), watching TV. My mom came up to visit for awhile. They drew some blood and put in an IV. I didn't want a lot of interventions, but the hypertension automatically meant I'd need closer monitoring, and it limited my positioning options.

At 9p.m. they inserted cervidil to soften my cervix. I was barely at .5cm at that point. We tried to sleep. They offerred me Ambien, which is a category C drug (incredible to me that they so readily offer these to pregnant women), which I refused. By 11 p.m., I was having what felt like very painful menstrual cramps. The nurse checked me and I was at 3cm already - apparently Cervidil is not supposed to work that fast and they took it out. I continued contracting regularly. It wasn't unbearable, but extremely uncomfortable. I received a shot of Nubain in my IV. This made me feel instantly DRUNK. I did not like it. I started to hallucinate... something about Jackie Chan inside my belly, causing me these horrible pains. I was told that at some point I was muttering, "Damn Asians! Make them stop!!" I really was loopy, but the pain was still there. It just mentally numbed me, not physically.

At 1 a.m. I was at 5 cm and received an epidural. GOD BLESS THE INVENTORS OF THE EPIDURAL. Going in, it was no more painful than a shot of novocaine at the dentist's office, and within minutes I was 100% pain free.

They told me to sleep. I do not understand these women who can sleep during labor! It's way too exciting. My poor husband tried to sleep on the pull-out sofa in the room but I kept talking to him. We watched Orange County on TV.

Suddenly around 3 a.m. two nurses came running into the room. They dropped the head of the bed, slapped an oxygen mask on me and started watching the monitors. They said the baby's heart rate was falling with each contraction (normal) but not going back up again (not normal). They told me that they really needed to put in an internal fetal monitor in her scalp to really know what was happening. This was something I wanted to avoid, but at the time, you will do anything if you think your baby is in danger. (I should mention that one of these nurses is a dear friend from church who I trust not only as a nurse but as an incredible mother to 9 children)

My doctor came in about 4 a.m. with a bad case of bed-head (night before was Valentine's) and broke my water - it was totally clear. They put in the monitor and were able to see that she was doing better once I had the oxygen on.

About 4:30 a.m. I felt like I needed to have an enormous bowel movement. ... the pressure was incredible. The nurse said I was only at 9.5 cm, but I really felt the need to push. Soon thereafter I started pushing. It was weird, the epidural was wearing off yet I could not tell where one contraction ended & the next began. I wanted to just push continuously, which would have exhausted me!

They fed me ice chips during the pushing. I vomited, which is pretty normal I guess. My mom was there and she passed out at one point. My husband was there, but he kept cheering on THE BABY, and finally I was like, "The baby has the easy job, you need to talk to ME!!!" My niece was there too and I remember yelling out, between contractions, "Don't ever have sex!!!"

At 5:45 I looked at the clock and thought, I am quitting at 6:00. I can't keep this up! And, she came out, right at 6:00 exactly! She was also posterior (sunny-side-up) and the nurses told me it's more painful that way (I have nothing to compare it to!). That also explained a lot of the backache that I had during the labor. (They don't put those ridiculous fetal monitors on your BACK )

They took her over to clean her off and stuff and I delivered the placenta. That really hurt, too. People tell me that after the baby comes out, the pain is over.... THIS IS NOT TRUE! At least not for me. I was surprised to find I was still have very strong contractions and a lot of pelvic pain. The placenta felt as big as the baby, just without bones, just a little softer I guess. Then I was stitched (I tore, chose to tear rather than have a possibly-too-large incision) and got to breastfeed her. She latched on like a little champ and was so beautiful.

Then it was 7 am. and the nurses changed shifts. I got the *****iest Nurse in America at that point. She kept insisting I get up and go pee. My bladder was drained before I started pushing and I really felt no need at that time. I also wanted desperately to get some kind of food/water into me before trying to walk around (having been on bed rest made recovering pretty hard for me). The ***** put a towel under me and told me to try and pee there in the bed... WTF???? Finally I yelled that I did not want to be treated by her and she scurried off.

All the other nurses before & after that were wonderful, sweet people.

I hated having them come in every few hours, pull down my pants, press on my belly and make blood squirt out. No one told me that would be happening! But from talking to others, I guess it's pretty normal.

It wasn't fun at all but to have my gorgeous little girl, I'd gladly do it a thousand times over. She is so worth any amount of physical pain or humiliation I had to endure.