Ok, I've typed this before, but I keep deleting it before posting. Not this time (I hope).

I'll try to make it fast so I can post before I chicken out. I'm 18 (19 on July 7th) and since middle school I have suffered from eating problems. I was almost always considered medically overweight, but physically, I never looked it. I would go through months where I would end up eating less then 300 calories a day. I would lose weight quickly and then become very unhealthy and I would be left with no strength. Each time I would end up gaining the weight back, plus a bit more. The last time this happened, my friends helped me out of it...I guess. If I'm not supposed to say this, I'm sorry, but it is part of my problem. Anyways, after going through two boyfriends who tried to help me with it, I was single and with my friends. I started on drugs, nothing to hard, but what I did gave me the "munchies" and that is basically how I started eating again. Some how, all this eating never made me gain weight....until I quit everything that was bad for me, the drugs, the smoking, the drinking. I quit it all, overnight. I realized what I was doing and I just stopped.
The eating however, didn't. I had gotten used to eating such HUGE portions (I'm talking half a large pizza, AND breadsticks, at once). Along with this I was on depoprovera and I started gaining weight like crazy. I went from 165, to 251 in about a year. The first 50 lbs came on extremely quick, which led to horrible stretch marks.

Sorry, was getting off track. Basically, I moved to Virginia, from California, 7 months ago. I absolutely regret it, and cry about it sometimes. I miss my friends, I have no friends here...at all. Along with this, I have suffered from depression for the past 6 years or so, off and on. Before we moved I finally went to the doctor and was put on Prozac. I knew we would be moving and not have health insurance, so I asked for an extra bottle. I was given it, but it was stolen at the airport, never to see again. Which makes this move that much harder on me.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post. But, what leads me to write this, is that I have been on a weight loss plan for 2 months and have lost 23 lbs. I am basically cutting my portions and calories. I was doing great, eating everything I needed to. Until I started noticing that "I wasn't hungry enough for that" so I started cutting more. I knew I needed to eat 1500 calories because of how much weight I want to lose (126 lbs all together), but somehow I just kept talking myself out of it. Last week I started skipping meals, to say the least I am a bit concerned. I feel weird, like I am watching me outside of my body. I can see what I am doing wrong, yet I just keep doing it. Maybe I just thought that if I put this in writing it would hit me. I'm not sure. All I know is I want this to be the last weight loss plan I do. I want to get to my goal weight of 125 and stay there. I am now at 228, I started at 251. I did very bad last week, so I am starting over. I need more fruits and veggies, I need more water. If this means I have to bring 3 servings of natural applesauce with me to eat at work, then so be it. At least I like it. (Did I forget to mention that I am extremely picky about food? I hate most food out there, which makes it difficult). So, I'm going to try this again tomorrow. I want to get back on track and get healthy. I think I am asking for help here.

-Meagan

Hi honey. Congratulations on the weight you've lost so far. Theres not a lot I can say to help you becaue ultimately it HAS to be your choice, but I do have a couple of suggestions if you want to take them.

1. Healthy outlook. You need to do something (talk to a therapist, do activites that make you feel good, look in the mirror and compliment yourself each day...etc.) to up your self esteem, Ultimately, losing weight should be about keeping a healthy lifestyle. I'm losing the weight essentially because diabetes runs in my family. Hopefully we feel good about our bodies too but anyone can trick themselves out of that. You can look like Halle Berry but if you look in the mirror and tell yourself you're fat, it's not gonna do you any good. Please do not skip your meals. A skinnier body does not always mean a healthier one. Afat body may not be the most apealing body to you but consider if your worried about people thinking you look ugly, that an anorexic looking twig body is not a **** of a lot more apealing. Health should be your key motivator in losing the weight, not only is skipping meals a dangerous habit, it actually lowers your metabolism and tells your body to conserve fat cells. In order to burn off the fat your body needs energy which it gets from(ding ding ding) food. You also realize that this is not the way to go, as you ALWAYS gain the weight back with this type of unhealthy weight loss.

2. Excess skin. If you think stretch marks are bad you've got more coming to you.Losing weight quickly may sound apealing to you but it's not all it's cracked up to be. That's why anyone who's gastric bypass will tell you to do it only if you have no other choice. It comes off so fast it leaves tons of excess skin which needs to be taken care of by plastic surgery. Not that your would be as drastic as someone who's had gastric bypass, but if you lose it slower, it gives your body time to adjust and when you do muscle training it tightens up your skin so you will be left with the body you want. keep in mind unless you take care of your image issues now, your body will never look right to you. ever.

3. No apologies necessary. Please don't apologize. You should be proud of yourself that you took the first step and reached out for help. You realize the pattern you are drifting back into is harmful and that's a GOOD thing. I know it's said a lot but it's true, aware is halfwway there. realization REALLY is the first step. Don't assume you are a burden. This forum is all about helping each other out. you should not have to do it alone. Your health and happiness are most important, so if you have to get on some people nerves and complain to acheive that, so be it. Your health and happiness is worth it. On this note. Congratulations on quitting those nasty habits! How long have you been clean and sober. Cold turkey has got to be tough. Keep eating healthy and don't give up. Make SURE you eat at LEAST three FULL meals a day and if you don't mind me butting my nose in I personally think you should eat a little more and exercise a little more. Skipping a meal will cause you to lose calories but eating it and exercising it off will burn plenty and keep you healthy and your body will adjust comfortably without holding on to excess fat.

I'd also like to say that if you need a buddy I am always here for you. I am aware that I am opinionated sometimes but they are always suggestions left for YOU to decide whether you want to take them, and all suggestions are stated in concern for your well being and happiness.(I know where you are, I've been there.) I'm 19(almost 20...3 days) and I've struggled with depression and weight issues for years. Right now I am proud to say that I'm not on any anti-depressants and I'm not on any "diet". I'm truly trying to live my life healthier and feel better about myself. I have my relapses, we all do, but I get back on my horse and try again. I have people on here and in my life who continue to encourage me. I can't tell you how much I feel for you moving and leaving all your friends and loved ones behind. I will be here if you need me but I won't be your mother. I will ALWAYS encourage you and give you positive re-enforcement, but I can only do that if you stick to what you set for yourself. I refuse to praise you for losing 2 pds when you ate nothing the previous day. I will tell you how beautiful and cherished you are every day but it won't do much unless you tell yourself that as well. I'm here for whatever you need to talk about. I won't blab your secrets or make you feel unwelcome. I may disagree with something you've done but never shy away from telling me. You should never have to apologize for feeling the way you feel. You can't help it right? All you can do is take baby steps to improve it, and apparently this(reaching out) is what you need to do to get started. I'm like you. I started at 244.5 and now i'm down 20 to 224.5 and a lot of the reason I got there was my mother telling me how proud she was of me and not to give up. Friends are important and with the move it's likely tough on you to not give into depression. Do your best to put yourself out there and meet new people. You sound like a sweeheart and you should have no problems making new friends. You can e-mail me any time you like(send me a pm) or I have messenger. Let me know how your day went and how you feel about yourself. You should be proud of yourself. Truly. I'm proud of you. Tell yourself how proud you are and how beautiful you are and write me back, don't try and do this by yourself, there's really no need. Studies have proven friends losing weight together tend to lose more and keep it off longer or altogether. We are about the same age and weight. We can lose weight together and help each other stay on the right track. Once again Congratulations and keep up the good work Princess!!!

Meagan

You have NOT offended anyone, at least not me First thing, if I may suggest is finding a good doctor, one you can talk to about your meds, mental state, diet, concerns, and your current situation #1.

Gee I don't even know you and yet I feel very proud of you. You have realize and experienced so much in your short years here on earth what most people don't realize in a life time.

I'm glad you decided to post, it really helps to know that your NOT alone and that you are the same as many of us struggling.

I gotta say that it looks like to me that you are on the right track. Realizing that being healthy is so very important and how you get there is even more important.

Bravo little lady, bravo !!!!

Please feel free to post here any time, even if its just to get things off your chest or just to say BOO!!

HUGS and KISSES

Thank you very much both of you. Your posts made me smile (and almost cry, but thats different, it was in a good way). Zeanea, I'm going to write you as soon as I finish this. I know everything that can happen to me, which is mainly why I'm actually trying to stop it, I'm scared of surgery so I don't want to have excess skin and HAVE to get it removed (Because I would want it done if I had it). I've been thinking about how and when I am going to start working out again. I have the Leslie Sansone video's and I will probably start back on the one mile walk. I was working out 5 days a week in the beginning, but then I ended up having to get up at 3 am to do it because I had a different schedule. I know I can do it now (except I would start at only 3 days a week, or else I will lose interest real quick.) I think things will get easier once I find a new job, this one is causing me a lot of stress. And it is even more stressfull looking for a job, especially since I only have about 4 months experience.

I don't think I mentioned it before, but I do take a daily multivitamin along with chromium. Yesterday I started bringing an extra bottle of water to work with me. Today I only got 5 cups of water in, but thats more then normal. If I can find my tape then I am going to get up earlier tomorrow and work out. Right now I am going to find something to eat because I checked and I have only had about 800 calories today.

Thank you again for caring.

Baby steps add up! The water is a great start (add a shot of fruit juice if it helps, or herbal tea----I'm a big Red Zinger fan too). And hydration makes your skin look great and helps carry away toxins.

Consider adding things that digest easily....yogurt, veggie soup....chicken broth.

More good news is that since you are YOUNG and STRONG....your skin should have more elasticity...exercise will improve your muscle-tone and there will be less chance of anything looking "loose"....

Treat yourself to a good body cream... and check out stuff to help reduce the appearance of stretch marks.... good luck and please feel free to join us in the daily chit-chat.

The truth, if you do cardio, weight training and change your nutrition all at one time the likelihood of excess skin decreases. The reason is there are two types of body fat: subcutaneous and internal.

Research is fairly clear that exercise burns more of the
subcutaneous fat, while the nutrition burns more of the internal
fat, which is why to get that last bit off, the cardio becomes
essential.

That is also why when you do both a nutrition and an exercise program you lose more weight at a time than when you do one or the other.

My walking video is broken, so now I have to buy a new one. The only time I can work out without dying of heat is in the morning because we do not have air conditioner, and my treadmill is upstairs in my moms room. So now I am going to try and find a used copy of the tape so I can start with that (again). On Friday I offered to help my coworker move! That is major for me because I have no friends and it got me out of my house, and moving! We moved from her apartment, to her new duplex, which is up a huge hill with many stairs. I was so tired afterwards, but it was a workout, and that is better then nothing at all. I'm still trying, my birthday is this Thursday and I don't think I will make my mini goal with all the set backs, but I will be very close!

You should be proud of yourself! Helping someone move, especially up a hill, is a terrific all-around workout, probably better than any treadmill or weight exercises. And reaching out to a co-worker is a first step towards making friends. Bravo!

If you don't quite make your birthday goal, it won't be long before you do. You've been impressively succesful so far: down 23 pounds since January, while some of us were still having an all-you-can-eat pity party.

Carla

(and your cat is adorable!)

Thanks! I made it to 1 lb away from my birthday goal. I'm not to upset about it. My next goal is to weigh 215 on August 15th. I figure that at that weight I should be able to fit into my size 16's! I can put them on now, but, I can't move, LOL. I know truthfully, you should be doing this for you. BUT...It isn't bad to have another way of motivation, right? Like say...going and visiting a male friend you haven't seen for a while because he is going into the Navy? Just off the top of my head .Heh, but really, it gives me more motivation, he met me while I was big, and I want to look even better when I go visit him this winter at VA Beach.
NO MORE EXCUSES! My birthday week is almost up, and I am getting back on track. I bought my sugar free natural apple sauce, and I'll buy some bananas and frozen veggies. These should help fill me up, with fewer calores, and more nutritional value. Also, even though I don't have my walking tape, I will use some other ones that I have (and can do). I am not giving up, I want this to happen. So yeah, starting Monday, I'll be up at 6 instead of 6:30. I'm going to make a requirement for me to do this 3 days a week. Which means, I could do it 5 days, or 4 or 3, but nothing less. So, I am starting over, for the hundredth time.