Hey,

I didn't see a thread started for today, so I made one....
Thanks to everyone who posted to my plea. I have made changes, somewhat since that day.

For one, I have a blog [email protected], where I journal and attempt to chronical my weight loss. I find that easier for me than doing journals here and there.

I've been doing well, I did good over the weekend, even at poker, aside from yesterday. I bought graham crackers for snacks and took out half the box. That's where I"m sitting now, wondering if I'm just not "allowed' to have sweet stuff like that if I'm just going to eat it all right away.

I've decided I can't for now. My plan is to cut down on carbs and sugars for a few weeks adn then re introduce it, so that I wont' have such huge cravings. I was reading about Bob Greene on Oprah's website. He recomends two hours of exersize on one day, and an hour every day otherwise. I coudl do it, but something about Greene and his plan irks me. He looks rather evil on the cover of his books, but not nearly as arrogant lookings as Bill Phillips with BFL.

Both Greene and Philllips have helped a lot of people, so I want to read books, learn what works well for people, and put it all together and see what works for me.

I'm trying to be more consceious of my eating today, I"m also going to work out and look for a book on positive thinking. That's a big problem for me, I think. Also, I'm trying to get more creative, do projects I've been considering, putting off, to keep my hands busy.

You see, I have a great plan, I know what to do! I just need to force myself to do it until it becomes habit. No one said this was going to be easy.

Also, instead of taking my meds when I get time ( and have been forgetting ), I'm making a point to set it out so I take it right away, it's more bipolar disorder/dep so yeah, like forgetting to take it wont' make a difference?
Hey, I've taken up a lot of space, and I'm sure there are more things I can do besides sit by the computer.

Yours,

Me

good morning gang!

So glad to see ya here Alteaon! sounds like you've got a lot on your mind and that you have a great plan! I look forward to hearing about how you are doing.

Tippy - thanks for the explanation. I have never heard of (or thought of) washing a mattress. You are right tho - it sounds gross!

I've got tons of things to do on this Monday morning, but wanted to wish everyone a blessed day!

hugs,
cathy

Hi Alteaon & Kathy: busy weekend and busy at work...

Yes, Marie, I've been on Trazedone, doesn't do a thing for me....I usually go the ativan route or ambien...but everything stops working after I build up a tolerence, so then I just lay awake and tough it out....last night I was up until 230-3AM, then got up at 515AM for work....another reason why I need to exercise everyday to get physically tired.

and I haven't stretched myself in 2 days...when I can relax my muscles in the evening it tends to help with falling asleep.

Did anyone see Larry King last night? you can access the transcripts through cnndot. It was all about depression and they described the hypo-manic episodes to a T. (at least for me). I wish I could shove that transcript under my brother's nose, tape his eyelids open and make him read it....maybe THEN he would understand why I don't get worked up over the cat-hair that gathered on the chair that he sat in. grrrrrr

Morning everyone!

Kids are off to school.........raining here but don't mind so much........freshens everything up!

Gonna lay low today........lots I could do but I'm working evenings tonight so I will be up and working hard until midnight so no use getting carried away.

Have lost touch with so many of my friends as well.........everyone gets so busy.........have made it a priority to touch base with people.

Hubby is away for a week next week so I'll get lots done.

Be well everyone!

Liz

I slept pretty good for the first time in about a week last night.Plus I had my Cpap machine on too all night which i haven't been able to do for about 2 weeks.I have been drinking alot of chamomile tea also.I just love it.I haven't to anxious yet today.I am hoping it will continue to be a good day.

*hugs*
lynnie

Good morning everyone. Glad to see you are all doing well.
After tippy's post I think I may have to carpet clean my mattress, yuck. Ours is 13 years old, and I can't say that I've thought about how filthy it must be.
Lynne - glad you had a good sleep, it sure makes a big difference. I was like Marble and didn't get to sleep until 3am.
Liz - You asked awhile back where in BC I was, we live in Prince George.

Anyway, not feeling to chipper at the moment. I was trying to cut down on my paxil as I've gained weight while on it and all though it has helped with some of my anxiety, especially the checking everything part, the depression is still always there. I was down to 10mg every second day. Then I read that site about withdrawing off of paxil (thanks for the link) and found that I was experiencing quite a few of the withdrawl symptoms ( I thought I was just a being a hypochondriac). So decided to go back to the 10mg a day. (I'm suppose to be taking 20 mg a day, but I find that makes me sleep all the time. And when I am awake its at night. So I'm wondering if I should call my doctor and see if there isn't something else that may help me better. I just don't know anything, I just want to feel "normal", get a job, be able to handle "life", Right now I just feel so pathetic. I'm sorry for putting this all here, I just needed to "unload" somewhere. Its probably just lack of sleep and I'll feel better tomorrow.
Hope everyone has a great day,
K

Buddly:
You may want to see if there are any underlying conditions for you sleeping all the time.While paxil does make me sleepy sometimes I later found out that I had sleep apnea which was contributing to my being sleepy all the time.Just a suggestion.Hope things get better.

*hugs*
lynnie

Good afternoon all,
Thanks Lynnie and April for the support and suggestions.
Lynnie - When I first read about the sleep apnea I was thinking, interesting, but naah, I know I use sleep as an escape when I can't "deal" with things, but then I thought more about it and you know there could be something to that. When I was about 9 or 10 or so, my mom said that I sounded like Big Bird when I slept and she would listen to make sure I would take another breath and I would fight to get air in. She blamed it on my adnoids and my tonsils as they were swollen alot, I still have both. And now, I still snore and sometimes will wake myself up with a "snort" So that could be a reason. Never thought of that. It gives me some hope as not being rested could be behind some of the depression, thank you for the direction.
April - I'm glad you found something that is working for you and I'm so glad that you hubby is recovering. And congrats on you 19lb loss! That is so wonderful. (crazy weather we are having isn't it?)
I went to town and got some errands done, so am feeling a bit better. Never under estimate getting outside. I'm going to have to get exercising and some more research. It will give me something positive to focus on. And this way I can tell my dr that I'm putting effort in from my end.

Thanks again, K

Hi all, just a quick note to say hello. I was busy at work and I have some stuff I need to get done tonight, but I wanted to stay caught up on the posts. It was a beautiful day outside and my pool was a whopping 82 degrees (not bad since the high was 72 degrees - but the pool is solar heated). I went swimming and did some laps. It was awesome. We've had such cold weather that this is only the 2nd time I've gone swimming this year. Usually I'm a daily swimmer by late May. So I'm really relishing it tonight.

Well take care and I'll chat more tomorrow.
Marie

hi guys! this is gonna be a hit and run!

Finals are this week and have been studying as much as I can. Yard with pool looks great! I hope to get pictures up this weekend and I will post my webpage so you all can see them. Eating... well lets not go there, hasn't been so good I would like to blame it on stress, but I know it's as much as my fault than stress *pooey on stress* I will get back in touch with everyone. Thursday is my last day for work AND finals so I'll be free at least until the 21st, then I start summer school ICK!

Take care!
Sue...