OK, when I met him I was around 135, and he has a taste for curvy women I think, he used to tell me I was too skinny...over the past year and half I have gotten up to 210, I think he liked me the most at 160 or so...anyways...that's not the point. A few months ago I bought a bunch of healthy food at the store (ok i went overboard, and spent a LOT of money on stuff i wouldnt eat) and ever since then when I say I want to go on a diet he rolls his eyes at me...I'll admit at the time I wasn't really motivated enough, it was just kind of an impulsive thing and I didn't stick with it for more than a few days...but now I AM serious about it, but he doesn't take me seriously...hes like "suuuure honey, go ahead, youre just gonna waste all that food you buy" He is VERY anti-diet, and refuses to diet with me, which is ok, I understand eating healthy isn't easy for everyone, and you can't MAKE someone go on a diet...I'm willing to go at it alone. But I just wish he supported me. The past few days I have been eating new veggies and stuff and the whole time he would sit there and tell me "I can't believe you are eating that, that is DISGUSTING!" He just makes me feel like I am offending him or something! Any advice on how to get him to be supportive? I know this will kind of motivate me to stick with a diet because I DO want to prove him wrong and lose weight...I kind of think that's the only thing that will make him leave me alone about it.

For a start dont call it a "diet" because that implies its something that has a start and an end. Instead try and look at/think of this as a change in your lifestyle. You arent dieting, you're chosing to try a bigger variety of food, you're chosing to experiment in the kitchen, you're opting to get the most out of food, enjoy the experience of eating, savouring it and at the same time nourishing your body. Its something you're going to be doing for the rest of your life so take it slow and enjoy the process.

Perhaps your boyfriend and yourself could go to a few cooking classes together? Make it a bit of a present or an outing, something the two of you can do together. Maybe when he sees what he can do in the kitchen with all those different foods he may come back with a more positive outlook on it. Involve him in the preparation of food so he feels he is contributing something towards it.

Instead of completely changing what the two of you eat, try first off sightly changing old recipes to include more healthy things. Use less oil, less salt, throw a few extra veggies in etc etc. Or, if you're making two meals perhaps he feels left out by that? He might be so negative because he feels you're doing something seperate from him and he feels it might create a distance? If you slowly/subtly bring things up in the conversation and try to engage his interest in things that way he might come around some more.

Talk to him about how you feel as well (though i'm sure you probably have already lol). Once he sees that this time you really are making a change he may become more supportive too.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps, everyone needs support on the home front! *hug*

Livi

hehe that is great advice and alll....but you don't know my boyfriend! He will NEVER step foot in the kitchen other than to get some cookies from the cabinet or something...to him, cooking is my job, and my job only. Which is fine with me, I really don't mind cooking for him. ALL he eats is pizza, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti (with NO veggies), hotdogs, and that's IT...lol

you could always take the extreme approach tell him your doing it for you and if he isn't prepared to be supportive or is nasty go cold on him for a bit. works a treat i know been on the recieving end

Hm I'm not sure what to say. I guess you could tell him it's not about vanity for you, that you're trying to be healthy and live a long life with him.

My fiance used to get really upset when I "dieted" because he knows when I diet it's a rollercoaster- up and down, Im on and off and miserable all the time. FInally I told him, Im not dieting anymore Im trying to be healthier for both of us, we've always said we want to be the ninety year old couple holding hands in our jazzy walkers (lol) and I told him a big part of that was he NEEDED to be supportive of my efforts to get healthier. And that clicked with him, my fiance is also into curvier girls but he's agreed my health comes absolute first and he'll love me at any size as long as Im healthy and happy!

I agree with slimming.

If your boyfriend just wont be supportive and YOU'RE the one who does all the cooking well then, put it to him blank.

I'm the one who cooks, if you wont support me in my efforts to lead a healthier life, then do your own cooking! (Or starve :P) Be tough and a little selfish after all, its your life and your health we're talking about here.

Besides, it certainly doesnt do any man harm to learn that the kitchen isnt just the domain of the women of the household lol.

Livi

i wasn't thinking of making him eat what she eats more like sleeping alone

hehe, so i finally got him to chill out...I think the whole thing was that he thought I was not going to stick with it, and that I was just going to cheat all the time anyway...and in the past when I have been on "health kicks" that only last for a few days, I have gone to the store and bought all the super expensive healthy brands, and then just not eaten them...so I wasted a lot of money. But after yesterday I think he is pleased, I bought lots of cheap veggies and still came home with lots of junk food for him, and only spent $120 for 2 weeks. So now he is lightening up, and not making fun anymore. I haven't cheated on my diet yet either, and before, I would go eat some Kashi cereal, and then eat 2 twinkies or something..haha

I agree with Si... I am cracking up with laughter over here.. you should have given him the cold shoulder (and every other body part) lol

Good to hear things are working out.. and he is now supporting you. Tell him to hide the twinkies on the top shelf where they are out of sight, out of mind. I know it isn't the fix all of ideas.. but it helps!

Amanda

better yet, don't even buy the twinkies

woot! I'm so happy he is finally being supportive...just to test him last night when we went to dinner I asked for a bite of his Mac N Cheese...he said "No, youre not allowed to have that!" haha I wouldn't have really eaten it...but I am glad he sees that I am serious about this and he is being supportive now!