Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

******
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet.. it's still on my desk... Sorry...

******

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


******

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!

******

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print Everytime
I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...

******

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................Thank you.


******

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.


******

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!


******

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


******

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

******

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

******

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

*******

Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

By the way, I've worked on a Help Desk and some of these are true.

Ruth, you are a woman of many talents! (we need a 'WOW' smilie...)

I used to work in an office near IT guys, and they got lots of calls like this.

I have great respect and sympathy for people working help desks.
I had an embarrassing incident shortly after I got a new piece of equipment for my lab. On Friday we turned everything off because we were having a power outage on Saturday to test the back up generators.

On Monday, I turned everything back on and this one piece wasn't working at all. I spent several hours on the phone with technical support trying to trouble shoot the problem. Then the guy says, "pull the piece out and reach behind and do this".. I pulled it apart and what did I find, Another power switch hidden in the back. This stupid piece of equipment had 2 power switches. Why would you put 2 power switches on a piece of equipment? I told this guy it was a new piece of equipment for us and it could be a simple problem. I was so embarrassed!

Now I understand why the first thing they ask is "is it plugged in? is the power on?"

I've had a similiar problem at work....fried chicken lady was on the computer & the screen went blank. She's screaming at me to fix it. I knew she had unplugged it because she always rolls the chair from one end of the office to the other. I was on lunch, so I told her that I would fix it when I was on the clock. She didn't want to wait 15 mins. She called store support & they called a tech out on Sunday. I had the screen working before he got there...he was mad that she wasn't smart enough to check the power & filed a complaint about her =)

These are so true! I've worked in information technology for 20 years and have heard it all. The funniest story was at a manufacturing plant. I got a call from a lady on the floor who couldn't get the mouse to click okay on the screen. She was holding it in her hand, and clicking. I felt really bad for the poor lady. No one ever showed her the right way to do it.

Thanks for the IT giggles.... Its been a rough day at work and I needed that.

amy

Popping in just to laugh. Those are great Ruth! I work in IT, but I will admit I have made a few airheaded tech support phone calls.

Squeaker!!! So glad to see you!!! How have you been?

Hey, any chance you are close enough to Syracuse to make it to a meetup? We're thinking we might try to meet there on a Sat. in June. Look for the Upstate NY thread.