Liquor warnings:
Of course this does not apply to you and me,
but you may want to pass this on to other people to warn them.
Liquor manufacturers have accepted and will implement the
Health Canada's suggestion. As of January 1, 2005 the following
warning labels be placed on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the ****
happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your *** kicked.
WARNING:
the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink yu kan tpye reel gode.
They would be even funnier if they weren't true. 
