What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support

Thanks Lucky, for the new thread. There has been a ton of action here and I just can't keep up, haven't even had time to read all the posts. I would like to get into this thread more so please think of me, all! I really, really need support now. . .

We are here red!!!

I have a ton of things I want to type but my computer has been "messing" with me!!!

I want to share this with you and then I have to print out all the former posts so I can catch up.

I read that if you take your current weight and multiply it by:
12 Sedentary woman
14 Sedentary man
15 Moderately active woman
17 Moderately active man

you will be the amount of calories you need each day to maintain your weight. Well, was that a mind blowing experience for me - I swear I don't eat that many calories - but being in accounting I know numbers don't lie.

Damn!

Of course the good news is that also shows you a starting point and if you cut 500 calories a day you will lose a pound a week.

You would think that starting with such a HIGH calorie number this would be easy! Sadly not true!

Okay I am going to print your posts and get ready with replies PLUS dazzel you with my questions!!! comments!!!

I like your new Welcome sign Lucky.
Redballoon, we are listening.
Gloria

5 dogs, thanks. I am just panicking because I just realized the deadline for the translation work I am doing is right now! not tomorrow. And I planned to go in to the office of another place I work for. I am sick and stressed and just want to cry. Oh well, at least the flu season is giving me a credible excuse for things.

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I hope it will not come to having to put him down. I had a dog with epilepsy but we hadn't really had it well diagnosed at the time. One night he took a seizure and we took him into the vet. They didn't know his condition or no one was watching him or something and he had another seizure and died there at the vet's, probably alone in some cage. It was so sad.

I know very well what it's like to have no money and lots of bills, including vet bills. My three cats are all chronically ill and I am forced to watch them suffer. The medicine is not working as well as it used to. The problem is the Japanese vets will not put animals down so I have no real choice. I suppose I could find some vet to do it but I don't think I could bring myself to do it when it was hard to find someone. It's hard enough to do if it was an easy matter of taking them to any vet and having them put down.

Have you discussed your financial situation with the vet or perhaps tried to find one who would give you the medicine for cheaper. I know vets vary greatly with their fees but if they knew your situation maybe they could help. I don't think the medicine for epilepsy is so involved. I really would check prices with other vets. Has your dog bebeen on medication or is it simply not working? I truly understand the dilemma but I have always tried to do all I could before I would consider euthanization. I certainly don't mean this as a critique though. I'm just suggesting that you may not be at the end of the line quite yet. The difference in vets is great, there too, I hear the reports from my father all the time. Of course you may not be in an area where you have much choice. In any case, 5 dogs, you and your dog are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you the best with whatever decision you feel you must go with. Death is not so horrid, it's just hard for those of us left behind to take the loss.

Hi Red, I hope you don't mind the nickname Red. If so, let me know and i will use your full name of Redballoon.
I never knew that there was no euthanasia in Japan. I was trying to think of the reasoning behind that. I love all my dogs like they are my children, but i know they are animals and they will never go out into the world and prosper like my children have. The only thing my dogs will be able to contribute to this house hold, is all the love and affection they can stand from me and hubby. So i was wondering if euthanasia for animals in Japan is a religious issue?

Have you ever heard the phrase "You have to spend money, to make money? Well, thats our financial situation. Because we just recently purchased a house in Georgia for our retirement, our cash flow is extremely low. Its going to take us a couple of years to get our savings back up to where it was before the purchase. Our vet knows we have a house in Ga. so if we were to ask him for a discount on the bill, he would probably look at us like we were nuts or something.

I was so tired yesterday from getting up early in the morning with Sky that i didn't get much done. Now my house is a mess and i have to do double duty on it. Must get going now so will say so long for now.

Hope to talk to all of you today.
Gloria

Hi all! I'm popping in quickly then I'm off to bed. I'm just in from the gym, (third day this week so far) Actually, I wanted to sleep in the worst way this morning...last night was my first night back to work after four days off....I had made a 'gym date' with a friend for this morning and almost punked out on her because I was just that tired....BUT NO! I was there! Was she? Uh.............no.

I really don't like going with someone else. I'd rather do my own thing, my own way. We all know now that I don't want to talk to anyone either while I'm doing it!

Oh well, live and learn. Now I have an excuse when she begs to go again...I'll just say I'm there at such and such time, if you want to come, all righty then! If not, I'll be there anyway. So I got a great walk in anyway. I did all my weight stuff yesterday. I'm finding that I really love going and look for ways to squeeze it in each day.

And what a difference with the weigh ins, what with all this exercising! I was down three more lbs this week at WW, for a total of 8.8 lbs gone since I started two weeks ago! Whee!

Dh and I spent the night in the city Monday. We have days to use up with the time share so it was an impromptu excursion. We packed a small bag and hopped on the train. We were hoping to score some cheapo tickets to a show, but a lot of shows don't play Monday nights. We settled for a walk in Central Park where a lovely young chap asked us if we'd like a 'rickshaw' ride around the park. The rickshaw being pulled by a bicycle! I laughed and told him that we'd be some load for him to haul, but he said "No problem!" So we put his thigh muscles to the test...lo and behold, he was scooting all through the park, pointing out all kinds of neat things, especially where different scenes from movies have been filmed. We could get out and walk a bit or take pictures (had we brought the camera!) The best part was "Strawberry Fields" a section of the park devoted to the memory of John Lennon, not far from where he was murdered. I'd seen this before, but our guide pointed out how that section was in the shape of a tear drop...I just found that so poignant. I sent John good wishes from you too, Lucky....I know what a fan you are. We're looking forward to going back this summer to catch some Shakespeare in the Park, or one of the many concerts there. It's really a beautiful place, amazing how huge it is, especially in the heart of the concrete jungle!

We found a cute little Thai restaurant for dinner, and party animals that we are, were back at the hotel and sleeping by 10:00!

I'm off to rest...I hope to be back later with an answer to the "FATE" question...gotta ponder this!

Later, gators!

I've got to run up to the school to stuff Easter eggs for their hunt on Friday but I just had to stop and say WAY TO GO KAT!!!! 8.8 lbs in two weeks?!? I am as pround and excited for you as I am jealous - and that's a lot! LOL.

Oh, and Gloria, I put your advice to work yesterday and what a difference it made it my attitude! I still logged my food and all but I let loose of the reigns a little. I DIDN'T get on the scale, I took a day off from exercise WITHOUT guilt (I stayed active, just didn't do an "official" workout because I was so darn sore from jogging the previous two days), and even had a potato pancake that was - GASP - fried at dinner. What I proved to myself was invaluable. I am in control of my eating (ONE potato pancake!) and activity even if the scale isn't my proof. It was really interesting to find that I ate when I was hungry, stopped when I wasn't, and had natural bursts of energy to move throughout the day without having to think about it. So, while I'll still go back to a more structured plan today I feel less obsessed with my weight loss and reaching my goal because I proved to myself yesterday that I will get there in due time WITHOUT stressing about it day in and day out.

With all of that said, I'm putting you on notice. It is very likely that you will have to dish out the exact same advice when my next plateau rolls around. Ahh, how soon we forget lessons we've learned.

Have a great day everyone!

Tricia

Most of you already know that there is a small produce market close to where i live. I think it was last month that they had asparagus on sale for 49 cents a pound. After eating 5 pounds of it, (Not in one setting) i noticed i was developing a green tint to my skin. I am happy to say that the asparagus was consumed and now its yellow summer squash. Just got home from the produce market where they have squash on sale for 19 cents a pound. By the end of this month i probably will look like I'm jaundice with a nice yellow glow.

I'm been meaning to tell all of you about the decision I've made about my aunt. I did as most of you suggested and told her that i no longer want to discuss the relationship i had or didn't have with my father. As it turns out, my aunt and i have nothing in common. It was very hard for me to try and keep the conversation going the last time i talked to her. I know this is going to sound like I'm just a horrible person, but I've decided to not make any effort to keep in touch with her. I will answer any I.M's she sends me, don't want to be rude, but as far as me making the first move in starting up a conversation with her, well, thats not going to happen.

Your overnight adventure sounds like heaven Kat. What wonderful memories you and your husband are making together. You must be flying high right now. An overnight adventure plus 3 lbs. lost.

Gloria

Awwww, thanks Kat, you made me

Cheryll,

I have seen Sylvia Brown a couple times on TV. She seems “real” in what
she is doing just like my friend. Maybe I am intrigued by all of this
because I feel I have so much unfinished business with the people in my
life that have died. Mostly because I come from a very UN-emotional
family, as an example my fraternal grandmother died many years ago. About
5 years ago one of my aunts told me how much my grandmother loved me and
how she was so proud of me, that I was special to her – I didn’t have any
idea that is how she felt while she was alive.

I know some say you can communicate and get your feelings resolved yourself
with people that have died but I think there is some validation that we get
when someone like Sylvia Brown tells you. On my own I wonder “is this
real’ or just me making it be what I want.

Gloria,

I LOVED the swim suit story!!!

Hmmm Carl gets a twinkle in his eye when excited, huh

Awww Sky sounds so sweet. I hope things work out for the best for you and her.

If you and your aunt are meant to stay close, you will. You have to do what is best for you.

Tricia,

Congrats on the 10 inches gone!!

I am jealous you got to see a ghost!! Of course I want to see one but only
a nice, friendly one!

That was a great ghost story about your grandfather and Quinten and if it
brought you peace that is what counts. The same with Will. It would be
great if someday he could recall what happened or if there were more times
that Quinten and Kayla “harassed” him.

I have had a couple of crappy days which I let go into crappy food and exercise days. Will I ever learn?

I have to do what Dr. Phil says: Do what it takes to have what I want.

Dr. Phil also said "stubbornly overeat" BOY, is that me.

Well, time to unwind before bed. I have to be at work by 7AM tomorrow - ugh, up at 4:30AM.

Hope you are all doing well.

I'm popping in just to brag about the awesome workout I just had. Ever have those? I always feel better after I go even if I had to drag myself there. But every now and then I just get an incredible rush. I don't know what causes it but I sure wish I could figure it out so that I could use it purposely! It probably had more to do with my music than anything else. After a couple of months I've finally figured all of the ins and outs of my MP3 player. I put together a playlist before I left tonight and it kept me moving without my even having to think about it. When I was on the elliptical I closed my eyes and had a vision of when I was younger and we'd all go out to clubs and dance. It didn't matter how tired or hot or sweaty we were if they played a song we loved we'd be right back out on that floor. I sort of got that feeling again and it really made the time fly. I upped my weights a week or so ago and tonight was the first night that I made all 3 reps of 15 without having to drop the weight back down to finish. That felt like a real accomplishment.

I was talking to one of the trainers about adding a couple more exercises for my triceps and held up my arm to show her my swinging masses of jiggle. And her response was that those were just "angel wings." Hadn't heard them called that before but I thought it was very fitting!

Lucky, I feel the same way about psychics as I do religion. Some people have faith in it some people don't and the beliefs of each faith can vary wildly. Nobody will ever be able PROVE that they are right. All that really matters in the end is that it brings you comfort and gives you hope. As for resloving feelings with those we've lost on our own and questioning whether or not it is real, again, I don't think it matters. If you've resolved them that is a good thing. It isn't really important whether or not you did that by actually communicating with the person. I like to think that those we've loved become a part of us so even if you are just making it what you want it to be, you still did it with the part of that person that was left with you. I don't think were were meant to understand it all. Probably because all that there is to understand can't be applied to everyone. We all have to work and grow and figure out what works for us and makes us better people in the end.

Red, did you get the work done that you needed to? I know you were stressing about your schedule and deadlines. I hope it all worked out for you.

Gloria, I think you are doing the right thing in regards to you aunt. There is no need to force a relationship just because she happens to be family. You can be civil and care about how she's doing without being her buddy.

Alright, I think my adreneline rush is finally starting to fade. I'm going to hit the sack. Catch you all tomorrow.

Tricia

Just a quickie here.

5 dogs -- you can call me anything, red, balloon, just plain loon! I don't know what their reasoning here is about not putting animals down. Supposedly religious. To me, it just smacks of a lack of understanding about the reality of things for animals and how much of it is due to the fact that they are at the mercy of all sorts of people. 5, have you considered finding another vet who doesn't know all about you? So often, people decide on their own, what is affordable and what is not, I mean, that others decided for you and that's not fair. I tend to keep a lot of things to myself because they will be misunderstood. Besides I'm not here to justify how I spend my money, if I want to spend it on a horse or a child, on eating out and nice clothes, it's my choice, none of them are any better than the next. It's awful that someone should decide because you have a house that you should spend your money in a certain way. I mean, heck, if you have a house, you obviously won't have money, right? 5 dogs, I hope you feel better soon. Like someone said, you are doing the best and have done the best for your beloved Sky. Take heart. And DON'T fret the messy house. Don't care so much about those things!!

katrina -- oh, I hear you on the gym and doing it alone. I just got back. I would never train with someone else. That said, I had done it for a while last summer, with the guys because I was going heavy with the leg workouts. But I got tired of it, it took too long with the three of us and I didn't really want to work out that hard anyhow. I like listening to my body and going with what I feel. I'm not a slacker in the gym so I don't need the motivation. I think your friend sounds like she's the one who needs someone but she would drag you down. Great to hear you're enjoying the gym. Today was my first time back in a while and it felt great! I am so glad I went!! Oh, and congratulations with the weight loss! that's stupendous results! Are you in the Apple? My parents were both from there. I have relatives in Brooklyn and Queens. i love New York. It is N.Y., right? Never saw a rickshaw though. . .

jawsmom -- thanks, I got the work done. Am doing some other work now but I did get some time in for myself today, a lot actually and now I'm whipping this off so that's even more. Thanks for thinking of me!

Lucky, jawmom sorry I couldnt talk to you much now. You are all so prolific! Gotta run. Hope you're doing fine and best of luck!!

Good morning all you getting fit and thin friends.

With summer coming on and the weather just starting to get warm here in Florida, i have decided to refinish my hard wood floors. I am using wood stain and polyurethane. The smell from the polyurethane is quite strong and I'm getting a little light headed. If i start to sound a little strange you will know why. Hubby held up his hand this morning and asked me how many fingers he was holding up. "Six fingers", close enough.

Oh look, its raining again. At least i think its raining. In my present state of mind, i can't be to sure. I know we need the rain, and when i went out to check on my tomato plants this morning, they looked up at me and i swear i heard them giggling. Its been raining since monday, and its starting to interfere with my pool time and that is really starting to get to me.

Went to the Y yesterday and took a step class instead of water aerobics because, "it was raining". I met a woman there that i am sorry to say was my best friend about 15 years ago, but no longer call her a friend today. We never had harsh word with each other, we just grew apart. Back then, i was very easy going and didn't let a lot of stuff bother me. Since then, i guess you could say I've gotten harder. In a way, it was good to see her again, but i was not thrilled that she was joining my step class. It was like she was invading my sanctuary. I know i shouldn't feel that way and she has every right to be there as much as i do. Will have to work on the attitude.

Must get this day started. Later.
Gloria

It is a cold (okay, okay 49 degrees but that IS cold for us Southern gals) and dreary day here. Kids don't want to go outside and I am bored and have the munchies - a dangerous combination. So here I am, trying to keep my hands busy until the urge to snack subsides. Worst part is that there is a Key Lime Pie in the fridge calling my name. I made it with all FF ingredients so it would be okay to have a piece. The problem is that I've got a bingey attitude right now and one piece would lead to two - it is "diet" pie after all. I'd throw the whole darn thing away but Greg would kill me - he's been having it for breakfast and dessert. Damn men and their higher metabolisms! Anyway, I'll have a slice in half an hour or so when I'm feeling a little more in control.

Gotta run. I've been invited to a fancy tea party upstairs. Thanks for letting me vent!
Tricia

Good afternoon everyone!

Damn that Easter candy. Went shopping yesterday for all my easter goodies for my grandsons basket, and easter egg hunt. Well, I opened up the candy and one piece led to another. Well, I managed to eat about 20 miniature candy bars. Plus I've been craving chocolate ever since. Also, having another situation at work and thinking maybe that triggered the binge. Anyway, I put the bags in the closet and am hoping that out of site, out of mind theory might work for me.

Gloria, I'm sorry to hear that Sky is not doing well. I'm a big dog lover, and consider my dog the baby of the family. She is such a joy in our family. She's a real sweetie. She's a big kisser too. Loves to give kisses. I would be lost without her. So I feel your sorrow. Also think you've done the right thing with your aunt. Sometimes you just have to make the decision to not surround yourself with people who make you feel bad. Period. No other explanation is necessary. I've had a situation with an aunt of mine who made me feel bad after my moms death. And to this day I purposely stay away from her. My mother is no longer alive so I have no obligation to put myself in a situation where I feel badly. Forget it. I owe you nothing. I wish you no ill will, but I also do not wish to have a relationship with you.

Anyway, one more day and it's off for a whole week while schools out for spring break. I'm going to do some spring cleaning and painting. Plus do a couple of little get aways with my hubby.

Better get moving, later gators. Happy St. Patricks Day!
Cheryll