You're as fat as you think you are. I've had friends who had 100 pounds to lose who were brimming with self-confidence (at least on the surface. You never know what goes on behind closed doors), never lacked for male companionship (great guys, too, not ones who treated them like they were lucky to be dating them), and who wore clothes and fixed themselves up each day like they were supermodels preparing for a runway show. Did they think they were fat? Maybe, but they weren't torturing themselves with every fad diet to hit the bookstore shelves and they weren't putting their lives on hold. As hard as it is for me to believe, there are people who seem to think they're fine just the way they are, even when the number on the scale isn't what society thinks is acceptable.
On the flip side, I've had friends who were *maybe* a size 4 on their worst day who couldn't go a day without complaining they were fat.
What's the answer? I don't know. I do think society is really good at making us feel inadequate, no matter who we are or what size we wear. I don't think there are enough depictions of real people in the media, which leads you to believe you're the fatest person on the planet when, in fact, you're perfectly normal and they're the ones that are freakishly small.
Interesting side note - On vacation last year in Los Angeles, a friend and I found out that there was a thrift store in Burbank that specialized in selling leftover wardrobe from TV shows and movies. We thought it was really cool, so we shlepped over with the goal of snapping up some cool gear that we could brag to our friends had been in a movie. Well, everything [and I do mean EVERYTHING] there was a like an xxs or a size zero or two. You couldn't even find a size 8! After scouring the entire store, I found ONE sad looking size twelve gown in a dusty corner. I couldn't even find shoes in my size! These are the clothes of the people we're seeing on screen every day! The people we compare ourselves to and try to emulate! They're freakishly thin! How on earth can you feel good about yourself when you're constantly bombarded with images of women with the bodies of 12 year old boys and told that this is the standard of beauty?? It's no wonder the people who are ten pounds overweight feel bad about themselves. They're probably comparing themselves to the anorexic actress or singer they see on screen and telling themselves that's what they should look like.
I do believe that we're all responsible for our own health and bodies, and I don't think that these images made me fat (or that people should sue McDonalds for making them fat), but I am realizing how that imagery can affect you and your self-esteem, even without you realizing it.
In addition, a lot of industries feed on us feeling insecure about ourselves. That's how they get us to buy so much stuff!
What's the answer? If you figure that out, you'll make millions.
The best I can do is try to keep telling myself that those people in the magazines and on the tv screen do NOT represent reality, do things that make me feel good about myself, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family who love you no matter whether you weigh 400 lbs or 100 lbs. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days (or weeks or months or years!), it just means I keep trying and hope that one day I finally do feel happy with myself at whatever weight I settle at.
Josie
