Hi

I thought that I had posted a big long message, but it's gone; never showed up! lol, but I think that this is the better place for it anyway. My name is michelle, and i am 17.

I would like to lose about 75+ pounds, and i purchased dr. phil's new book to do so. But, i find it really boring, and like it doesn't say anything to help me lose any weight. i do not even know what the "diet" is because i cannot read past chaper two!

I thought that i was finally comfortable with my body image after being sick earlier this year. I went on my first diet when i was in third grade, because my mom made me. she became aneroxic when she was about 17, and i think that this might have affected my ability to diet (or lack of). She has said some pretty nasty things to me about my weight, and doing so has pretty much led me to binge eating, and triggered depression when I was in 5th grade. I am not allowed to be comfortable with who i am because of how she is to me. she is not evil or anything, but her negative look at nutrition has not helped me. She has in some ways, i guess; we *do not* have snack type foods in the house. we have never bought sugar drinks, and our dinners are healthy, but wuite bland. there is no reason i shouldn't lose weight, or that i should be heavy. but i eat at night when i am up and alone. and obviously, i want to lose weight, get nicer clothes, and stuff like that, but generally i am happy with my body. my grandfather, uncle and aunt, and my mother all have bipolar disorder, and want me to see a doctor to help me so i can "get better" as she says, and lose weight, but i do not see the need!

I guess the problem is, how do i get motivated, or feel the need to diet, and make myself do it? i need to do it so my mother does not have any reason to say the comments that she does. it's, well, embarssing, and i would like to have this part of my life fixed, so i can concentrate on other things than making my mther happy. is the doctor phil book worth reading through the boring psycological issues to get to the diet?

thanks for listening to me whine! : ) any suggestions would be helpful.
~~Michelle

I just wanted to edit a bit; I realized that it sounds like I am 'ignoring' psycoloical issues, and just wanting to lose weight for my mother. I do want to lose weight, I just cannot seem to ever follow any diet. I think that that is my main problem.

My mother having aneroxia is a big thing in our lives in my family. She is recovering, physically, but will not admit that it has affected her mentality towards dieting; and thus does not see what is wrong with how she says things to me concerning weight loss.

I understand that being 75 pounds overweight is a big thing, and not a vanity issue. I just needed advice concerning my lack of motivation.
Thanks so much for understanding! I cannot talk to my friends about it because it is so embarssing to talk about some of the things I am told about being fat from my mom. I don't want people to think that she is a horrible person, she just has a lot to deal with. She hans't been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but my grandfather and her brother and sister have. I am just guess that she might, because of her issues with the eating disorder (that she has been diagnosed with for over 25 years), and her genetic link to it (and her display of symptoms). I only mentioned it because she is just as much involved in my dieting as I am.
Thanks again!

I have been thinking about your post since yesterday and how rough this all has to be on you. You are taking it like a real trooper, when I was your age I was the biggest brat you would have ever met! I have grown up much since the teen years, I now have 2 children of my own and I kind of understand that your mom is probably worried, but going about it the wrong way. You seem pretty upbeat, despite the negative comments so I think you really could lose weight if you are ready. Looking back I didn't have much money when I was your age, but I wasn't living with my parents either. Your mom cooks healthy, which could work to your advantage. What type of weight control does she seem to follow;low fat, calorie counting, or low-carb? I know you can get help and ideas here, but I also understand your not out buying groceries either. I'm assuming for the time being your going to have to work with your mom on the food you get. If I'm wrong let me know and we can look at other ideas. So give clue me in on your mom's idea of healthy cooking and we can start looking at your options. And for the late night snacking, don't worry about it. A simple change in what your reaching for can make all the differnece in the world!

Hi, and thank you both for the suggestions and encouragement.

I didn't look at the whole motivation thing that way; that I am the one who needs to motivate myself, and nothing that anybody says is going to make me not eat the chips at night, or go and work out. But knowing that, I also know that I have to motivate myself even more to make up for it.

As for the cooking my mother does, it is mainly a low calorie thing. simple meals, stuff like that.

About the groceries- my mother actually helps to care for my grandfather, so she is gone a lot of the day because she is over there at my grandparents house. so sometimes my older sister and i do the grocery shopping. usually when this happens, i end up buying the bad snack food (this is the food that i am talking about that i eat at night). i don't ever try to hide it, but it's just not what she would have bought, had she been at the store (which usually induces a fight). So if there are snacks that might be better to eat that would satisfy me more. my sister suggested a banana and cheese, because of somthing about the glucosomine index (something she learned in nursing school about the levels and stuff like that). But i actually am lactose intolerant (yuck), so i hate to eat anything dairy (you might be able to tell by now that I do not have a cast iron stomach...lol). any ideas there?

Thanks so much for understanding! I really didn't realize how harsh I made my mother sound. i love her, and she has helped me if i asked for it, but it's just not exactly what i need sometime. oh, that reminds me, does anybody have success with winsor pilates tapes? my mother bought them for me, but after i tried them a few times, and didn't feel like they were doing anything and i didn't feel like i had worked out, i quit using them (now i sound ungrateful...lol. she does want me to succeed, she just is obsessed with it; unfotuneatly, that's part of the problem with aneroxia...)

Everyone have a good day,
Michelle

Ok, that helps, she would be supportive and cooks simple and counts calories! Time to shake it up!! I'm going to suggest simple easy changes with your snacks! I have lacto issues my self! Veggies are great, I have a ff dill dip recip. I would be happy to share if you like veggies. Everybody has suggested frosted mini wheats as a crunchy sweet snack. (No cooking involved) Fruit is great, I have tons of cake and dessert recip. that are low-in fat and would have less cals. then the reg. For chips, I'm looking around for a good recip. I know that you can slice real potatoes and bake em and season to your choice! Popcorn with no butter, (Other seasoning options available) Many of my healthy choices take alot of chopping and dicing, which can be a pain, I work full time! I always make extra and happily graze all day and evening! It will take some trial and error to see what type of foods you like! Pick up a cook book, I love the cooking light series. It's a magazine and they print a cook book at the end of the year with all the recip. You can pick these up used pretty cheap at amazon. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/se...177489-1060769
PM anytime and I'll be happy to share any recip. I have!!!

Those are some great ideas! I will head to the grocery store as soon as I can, and get some of those snack packs; I've had the wheat thins, and they were pretty good! I'll have to stock up and take them to work instead of buying from that dumb vending machine (candy, candy, and more candy!)...

I've ordered that bellydancing dvd (hey, if nothing else my boyfriend might like it ; ) hehe) and I am going to start walking my dogs, and doing the pilates....oh! and i got the guts to talk to my mom about getting a gym membership, and she thinks it's a great idea! so now she is really hapy with me for wanting to change so much, so if nothign else, i am getting a better relationship with my mom.

thanks so much!
Michelle