I was watching this show on Discovery Health called "Big as Life: Obesity in America" and it is quite an interesting show.

The thing that amazed me though was that they showed stories of different people and 3 ladies in particular who were 400+ lbs and were accepting themselves at that weight and had no plans to try to change it.

First of all, I believe you need to accept and love yourself, no matter what weight you are at. I also believe though that everyone has things they need to work on and my weight is one of my things and I believe I'll always be working on it. It just astounded me that they figured that was their weight and that is what they had to be. Perhaps they have given up hope, perhaps it is such a large amount of weight loss to them that is incomprehensible. For me, being at any weight below the weight I started at is a victory.

One of the ladies then went into the "fat people can be fit/healthy" argument which I think is honestly a thing of time. If you are extremely overweight and have no health issues, I would say you are very lucky. I count myself as one of those lucky people but I also know that my luck will only take me so far. I know that chances are that as I get older, my weight could cause serious medical issues.

Anyway, it was an interesting show, I highly recommend it even if I don't totally agree with the opinions of some of the participants.

This is a quite complicated debate. It is true that we should accept each other just like the way we are; meaning not judging a person by it’s appearance. Being obese for the past 25 years, i know what i’m talking about…..I’ve being laught at, ridiculized, turned down when asking girls for dates, etc…..

However, should we accept not to do anything about obesity? Some will say that metabolic disorders makes it very hard to loose weight. I’ve heard that such problems occured in approx. 5% of obese people.
So for 95% remaining what’s to do? I think we at least should try to do something aout it. Even if it gives poor results, at least some attempts were made…
..
Finally; i have some difficulty with severly obese people saying that they’re fine and perfecly healthy the way they are and do not plan anything to loose weight. To me, this attitude is the equivalent of playing russian roulette with their life….

I think they have just given up hope and are trying to make the best of a bad situation. However their weight WILL cause problems down the road, there is no doubt about it. Obesity is linked to so many different diseases and also just really an issue of quality of life. Believe me when I say that it is not pretty when an obese elderly person loses the ability to mobilize because their muscles simply cannot support their weight. I see so many elderly people in the hospital for different things and without a doubt the ones that are of normal weight recover much better than those who are overweight. When you are at a younger age, 20's and 30's even maybe 40's you can be fit and fat and not feel it much. But after that it is really downhill if you aren't careful. We had a lady in her 50's die on my ward recently. She had gastric bypass surgery many years ago but continued to gain weight. I would guess she was 350 lbs or so. By the time she got to us she could not walk or even sit in a chair. I don't remember her exact medical history but obesity was a critical part of it. So please don't anyone think for one minute that they are going to live to a ripe old age and be happy about being fat. Maybe a small percentage do but for the rest being elderly and fat can be a nightmare.

We used to get a lot of email from the fat acceptance groups, telling us we were doing a disservice to fat people. We heard all of the "love yourself and accept your fat" crap. We DID love ourselves, that's why we wanted to get healthy.

This was in the news a couple of weeks ago
http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/diet.....ap/index.html

That is pretty eye-opening!

I feel like I'm being some sort of -ism for having this opinion but if a person is overweight and wants to do nothing about it then they do not love themselves as much as they claim to. They have just learned to tolerate themselves at that weight. A person who truly loves themselves and those around them (i.e. family) would do everything they possibly could to take care of themselves. It has been proven time and time (and time...) again that even being 20 pounds overweight (let alone 200) can put you at risk for weight related diseases.
That is not to say that we should all strive to look like Jennifer Aniston or Beyonce. I believe that part of loving oneself is knowing when you are healthy enough and being satisfied with whatever weight that happens to be. (hopefully this makes sense and has not offended anyone )

Dharma,
You may actually be onto something. I had struggled losing the same 30 lbs over and over for years and had never had any success breaking a plateau point of 330. It wasn't until I decided to love myself that I was able to get past that point and actually believed that I could get down to a decent weight.

I think fat acceptance and losing weight shouldn't be mutually exclusive.

I also think it's important for them to realize that there is a difference between accepting their APPEARENCE vs. accepting their actual body health-wise. We're not any better or worse than the next person based on race, gender, class, sexuality, etc etc... and weight. Fat does not make a bad person or a less legitimate person, which is what I *think* the "size acceptance" movement, if you'd call it that, is all about. However, i think they've got it all wrong. You can love yourself and want to change, inside or out. Making a positive change in your life isn't being untrue to yourself the way they seem to think it is. I could go on for hours about this, but I digress.

I also saw, a few months ago on vh1's "Totally Obsessed," a woman who was out of her skull (and I'm not even going to add the "in my opinion" clause here ) who was obsessed with WEIGHT GAIN. She made herself these "special" 3000 calorie milkshakes with heavy cream and all this disgusting stuff. Her goal was to weigh 600 lbs, and her husband was quoted saying "she gets really depressed on weeks when she doesn't gain weight." Geez! Can you imagine?

I mean, that woman's an extreme example, but come on! Yes, you should accept yourself at any size as a legitimate human being, and if you can reconcile with the fact that you're very likely going to run into health problems in the future, fine. But really, "size acceptance" shouldn't be any different than "self acceptance," because to me that's what it is. Size doesn't equal self, but it's a part of us that needs to be reconciled with somehow.

I have to think of my mother, who weighs 255, and is a size 24. She hasn't tried to lose weight since I was a young child (I'm 25 now, so it's been at least 20 years without ANY dieting), and while she is always striving to be healthy, she just hasn't tried to lose weight. She told me she accepted her weight, and decided she had better things to worry about, such as raising 2 children alone, and she went on with her life. So coming from that point of view, I can totally understand, and as her life has become less complicated and less busy she has the time to explore her options, and has been suceeding at losing weight. Her body is losing weight faster than mine, and it's probably because she hasn't dieted, or hurt her body in ways I have been. I guess there is always 2 sides to a story.

-Aimee

I totally agree. That said, we all know it takes a lot to lose weight permanently. And although we're the exceptions , most people who attempt to lose weight and maintain their weight loss fail. Not to say it can't be done--many here are proof otherwise--but it's a very complex and difficult matter to do so. It's not simply a matter of "Oh, those people who remain fat don't love themselves," or "they don't have the willpower, and it's a character flaw." Those types of beliefs lead to discrimination against fat people which is WRONG. It's a complicated web of physical, sociological, spiritual, mental, geographical, genetic, and commercial influences which contribute to our society's obesity epidemic.

The problem with the Harvard study is that it's sending the message to active obese people of "why even bother"? Which is a shame, especially since engaging in regular physical activity often leads people to make healthier food choices, without going on a restrictive impossible-to-maintain diet. Also, the study (or at least the report on the study) does a great disservice by not comparing death rates of those who are obese and physically active to those who are obese and physically inactive.

What's worse: to yo-yo diet and be miserable because you're not ready to make permanent lifestyle changes, or to love and accept yourself at your current weight while you exercise and remain active? IMO, a person who is not losing weight through a restrictive diet but is working on loving him/herself and is regularly exercising is much better off emotionally than someone who is being psychologically damaged by yo-yo dieting.

Don't misunderstand me--I believe you can succeed in losing weight, but only if you find a plan you can commit to for life, if you're committed to physical activity, and if you're emotionally and mentally ready to change some of your habits and beliefs. But for those you aren't there now, I don't think they deserve to feel miserable about themselves.

I was checking out the message boards on the biggest loser and I think the woman who wants to weigh 600 pounds posts on there. She says she's super happy and her hubby loves her just the way she is. She said she's very active for her weight an in "perfect health."

I have always had a great self esteem and loved me for who I am. That's not to say I didn't have a bad day here and there but if you were to ever talk to anyone who knows me they would tell you I'm always smiling. Do I love me for me? You bet, but that's not saying I love being fat and have accepted that that is what I will always be. I have accepted the fact that right now I am a big ole obese person today. I know that tomorrow and even next month I will still be a big ole obese person but I can hope that by next year I'll just be a big ole overweight person and after that hit the normal ranges.

I know for me to begin yet another trek to a lifestyle change--I knew it had to be a lifestyle change a long time ago--I had to admit to myself what I was and that is morbidly obese. I used to use all the nice labels for myself--pleasingly plump, a few pounds overweight, big and beautiful, but they were doing me a disservice because I was deluding myself. Once I could admit to myself that I am not just obese but morbidly obese, I could then see that I had to change my life for my health and so I began.

I'm sorry if this offends anyone but that woman who wants to be 600 lbs, either she is playing a huge joke on everyone or she has got some mental problems. If she had any clue what the future holds for her at such a large weight she would be horrified. Anyone who really desires to be obese has a death wish. Fine maybe now everything is grand but it won't be 30 years down the road when she is suffering from diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems and can't even move enough to sit on the toilet and has to have 4 nurses turn her to wipe her bottom.

When I think about "fat acceptance" I think of society accepting that weight does not necessarily limit your ability to be a good employee, a good mom or a good person. I think the 2 types of people that are discriminated against the most are fat people and ugly people.

I certainly do NOT think of accepting that obesity a healthy way of living. In fact, I would dare to compare women who are incredibly obese or making themselves incredibly obese to pro-ana groups who think anorexia is a healthy lifestyle. They have a healthy dose of DENIAL.

I have just a couple comments,mainly on being fat and still being healthy. Physics make it impossible. You can remain in good health for a while but eventually it catches up with you. The heart has to work harder to pump blood everywhere so eventually it gets enlarged.The pancrease has all that fat and sugar to process so evenually it goes to.I think your fooling yourself if you say your happy being fat.I think you've given up trying to do something about it.I also think people are more then our bodies. We can be very happy at the "kind" of person we are and be very unhappy with the condition our bodies might be in.Just my opinon.

This show really bothered me... I am glad that these people can accept and be happy with the way they look (something I just can't do at my weight!) But it saddens me that they don't see how unhealthy it really is... My only problem with their outlook was that they kept saying how healthy they were... and they AREN'T! The kept saying that Doctors are full of it when they tell them how they need to lose weight... Because at 21 and 230 pounds I'm terrified of what my actual health is like...

I agree w/Dawnyal & the Goddess, I am not doing myself any favors by not facing what I am: morbidly obese. But at the same time, does the fact that I am morbidly obese make me a rotten employee, girlfriend, daughter, friend? No.

These shows always make me sad/mad. JUST ONCE I want the reporter to ask one of them what they think of the 600# woman who died as part of her couch, or the man who had to be airlifted out of his house b/c he weighed 1000#.