Hi all,

I joined last year and the lurked around in the summer but never went through with finding a buddy or losing weight. I was too nervous to post or get involved.

Now, though, I've reached an all time self-esteem low and weight gain high.

I'm ignoring my nervousness and jumping in because I simply can't go on any longer the way I am now. I'm desperate. I am determined to lose weight and gain life. I want to like living, and do a lot of it. Right now, I'm just floating by with each day, in hiding.

I'm now 100% serious and ready to flip my world upside down and get out of this dark, life-draining hole.

Does anyone care to join me?

It's very important, I feel, that I find some form of support because I just haven't been able to do this on my own. I have depression and anxiety and those two things do not make this weight loss journey any easier. One of the big problems with my depression and attempt at weight loss is that I have very, very little energy - most days I feel very sore and tired therefore it's hard to exercise and find motivation - and unfortunately I don't lose my appetite when I'm miserable, it triples! I eat and eat and eat almost like I'm addicted to it (maybe I am?)

I have been married for 3 years and every year I've gained roughly 20lbs. Getting married isn't the only factor of my weight gain though it's a big one (as my diet completely changed as did when/how much I eat, etc) my depression has been hitting hard and I have been out of work for over a year. It seems all I do lately is mope, eat, sleep and eat some more. My husband doesn't mind my fatness but I do. He won't even admit I've gained weight or that I'm overweight, says he can't see it. I feel he's sparing my feelings, which I appreciate as I'm a very sensitive individual. I wasn't thin when he met me but I was much healthier than I am now (was able to jump, run, fit into my clothes, be satisfied with much less food, etc) I can't stand looking at myself and I fit into only two outfits - both all stretchy material. I never want to go out and I've lost most friends because of my anti-social behavior due to my terrible body image.

Sorry if this is a lot to post - I'm putting it all out there, something I never do, because I know if I don't do it now, I may never gain control.

My stats: I'm 22 years old, female, married, no kids. I weigh 230lbs. I'm looking to lose at least 80lbs. I am 5'4" so I wouldn't mind getting down to 130lbs. I feel that would be my ideal weight as I'm big boned and have an athletic build.

I would love to find someone who has a similar background or even just similar goals (of 80-100 lbs weight loss and depression makes it very hard)...

If anyone could point me in the right direction as to which forum would be right for me, that would be greatly appreciated too.

Thanks so much and it's nice to meet you all

Amberoo

wow! We sound soooo much alike!! I am 5'3 226 lbs, and looking to lose 80lbs! l also suffer from anxiety and depression. The only differences are age and I am married with two natural kids and two step kids. I desperately need a buddy myself and I'd love to be yours! I can't write too much more today. cuz I am at work right now. Please pm me with your e mail addy and we can support each other. I guess we should start out trying to find out what has worked for us in the past and what hasn't. Then we can go from there. I firmly believe in baby steps. Do you drink much water?? I am working on that somewhat now. Last year I lost 35lbs. On christmas eve i found out I was pregnant and only gained 15 pounds throughout the whole thing. I had a healthy baby boy and lost 21 pounds quickly. Now I have gained 11 back. uck on the wrong track. Lets motivate each other. You sound soooo motivated and that is super!! Focus on that. it will help you to stay positive. Catch you later,
Lisa

The last two were GOALS, that weren't met. I just thought I'd share that so you wouldn't be confused. I need to fix that soon though. I don't like coming off like something I am not.

Lisa

Hi Lisa! It's so nice to meet you.

I'm thrilled that you replied to me. Now I feel like there's some hope. I truly believe we can do it if we are totally honest and supportive of one another. I've never had to report to someone, I think that may be a huge plus in sticking with a routine.

I know it'll be very tough in the beginning as I'm used to doing 0 exercise, eating late at night, laying around, drinking soda, a bunch of bad habits and cravings... Funny, I never touched soda ever but in the last year I've found myself addicted to dr pepper and coke (the reg kind, eeks!) which is a big no-no.

Congrats on your weight loss. That's proof that you can do it! I haven't lost a single pound in so long I've started to believe that it isn't possible for me! Silly me, I simply haven't tried hard enough. But not this time, I can taste it.

To answer your question, I USED to drink a ton of water. Most of the time w/fresh lemon juice in it. I actually enjoy drinking water but for a while now I find myself craving bad-for-you drinks and only drinking maybe 1 to 2 glasses of water a day! (Hides in shame) I just wish I could crave water - I have a feeling that may be possible once I start exercising. I know how important a role it plays in weight loss and overall health.

How long have you suffered from depression and anxiety? I have my entire life. Well, we can talk more about that in PM. Okey doke, off to send you my info.

Thanks again...TTYS

Amberoo

Hi and a big WELCOME Amberoo!

You have come to the right place for support-3fc is a GREAT place and I have found the women & men here are fabulous!

Also, to let you know there is a thread that deals with Depression and Weight loss if you want to check it out. It may be just what you are looking for. But don't stop there as there are a bunch of great threads. Just lurk a bit until you find one you think you will be comfortable with and jump on in.

Best wishes on your journey.

I completely agree with you about holding each other accountable and being totally honest. I too have been not on program at all, and doing zero exercise.

I am not good at just jumping on program either. My goal is to be predominantly on program by Monday. That means overall eating healthy and begining some form of activity as well as drinking more water. If between now and then I move towards that I should be well on my way and thinking about my goals much more. That's probably something else we should share is short term and long term goals.

I too think it'll be tough in the begining, but fun since we will have each other to cheer us on! I eat too late and too much junk as well. Ice cream and goodies are my biggest cravings. Chocolate is a definite downfall for me.

You said "I haven't lost a single pound in so long", so obviously you HAVE lost weight though and just hold onto that for now. As we progress It will get easier. The cravings, exercise, healthy eating and water intake will all come together for us.

As far as bad for you drinks, I know how you feel. I can't have caffiene due to breastfeeding. So I tend to go for lemonade,rootbeer,sprite, and they never or rarely are diet. That must change though. Nothing tastes as good as it feels to be healthy. For me it is not about being thin, I am 35 years old now and being a hottie isn't a reality for me, so it's just about being healthy and happy with myself.

As far as anxiety and depression go I have had it for six years that I know about. I have severe self esteem issues. People and things don't depress me. l depress myself. I am very hard on myself. I feel like I am a horrible person all the time. Like I am a horrible Mother,daughter,sister,friend,employee,or whatever. If I don't e mail you back within a certain time frame I will pummel myself with really unkind thoughts, I always want to be a good person to everyone all the time. I am continually ridden with guilt that seems ludicrous to others when I tell them why. I have my good days too though and I have discovered I do better when I am doing stuff for other people so I don't think too much about my own short comings.

I am really glad we met and I am looking forward to forming a great friendship!
Lisa
PS Maybe we could send before pics to each other?? Whadda ya think?? If not that's ok too.

Oh yeah, just so I get my mind going in the right direction I think I will post what I have eaten so far today. It's horrible, I didn't wake up with healthy living on my mind. I need to get to that point by Monday so hopefully this will help.

Breakfast: oatmeal with cinnamon,splenda,and unsweetened applesauce, orange juice, 2.5 pieces of turkey bacon

snack: chocolate cake

lunch: stouffers salisbury steak with mac n cheese, cheese and crackers, water

snack: cheese its, mini chips ahoy, water. 2 rolaids, (hmmm wonder why that is...duhhh)

dinner will be: goulosh with a salad.

snack will be: a granny apple

I'll let you know how my "will be's " turn out. My family is known for haveing a yummy dessert almost every night. Wish me luck. Today has not been a good food day that's for sure, but honestly seeing it in black and white I am really thinking it will help me to do better for the rest of the day and tomorrow as well.

Take care and good luck to you too!
Lisa

Lisa... I just wanted to say CONGRATS!!!!! When I dropped off the face of 3FC's earth last year, I didn't know you were pregnant.. I just started back this fall.. so I am back around.

Congrats on the healthy baby boy! I am sure you are having a great time with him.

Anyway.. I just wanted to say HI!

Cherie

Hiya Cherie!!!

It's sooo good to see you again! How have you been?? Thanks so much! You can see pics of my baby at www.babiesonline.com/babies/g/gagesplace/

Take care and keep in touch,
Lisa

Lisa
I can'y believe how much we have in common. We are the same height, almost
the same weight,I had a baby on August 11,2004 and my son has a site at babiesonline also. It is really nice to meet you.

cw 215
gw 140

Lisa
I just went to your sons site and saw you are a pw member too.

Hiya fatky,

How are you and nice to meet you too! Are you a member of PW too? Will you share your son's site? I'd love to see him. Congratulations btw. Are you a member of their August 2004 club? It is ironic how much we have in common. Don't you just love 3fc??? I sure do. Gotta go get my eyebrows done. Company dinner party tonight. Not sure if I am looking forward to it or not.

Take care and keep in touch,
Lisa

Yes I to am a member of the August 2004 board.
My sons website is http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/johnlogan/.
I do love this site I am just having a very hard time getting
myself motivated.I wake up everyday meaning to do well
but I always end up doing bad, I have got to do better.

AWWW he is absolutely beautiful!! Soo adorable. What is your nic on PW? I know how you feel about the motivation thing. I was sooo motivated last year and I am really struggling this year getting back on that horse. I have been asking for a gym membership for christmas I hope so much that I get it. It's the one thing I want more than anything.

Lisa