I think you make a lot of good points funniegrrl (although I think Pam already has a good understanding of what you are saying, since she admits "what matters most is what we eat regularly" and is stating an expression of comfort in knowing "that you don't have to let a moment of weakness undo all your good work").
I, too, wonder what the motivation was behind your son's choice of meal, Pam. If he's attempting to sabotage your weight-loss efforts, then I'd be concerned. Otherwise, I suppose you'll just have to be firm in stating to others what is or is not allowed on your plan.
I find it interesting how different people perceive different words. I don't have an issue with the word "cheat" at all. Yes, dieters "cheat", but to me so do long-term participants in a lifestyle change, as do maintainers. To me, any time you do not adhere to your life plan, you have cheated. I know I'm in this for life. I also know I need a break from my plan from time to time. When I first started this journey I didn't waiver from my plan for 8 months (including holidays, weddings, etc.) I never had a gain during those first 8 months. Yes, it was motivating, but it wasn't for life. Rather, it was a way to get a good start towards where I had to be before living realistically. Now I have planned "cheat days" (actually, I prefer to call them "free days"). Thanksgiving last weekend was one. I went off plan, enjoyed a variety of foods in amounts I'm no longer accustomed to and then got right back to business the next day. I just accept that I won't have a loss that week, but I can live with that. Not saying this strategy is for everyone - I know there are people here who believe that having "free days" is not a true acceptance of your new lifestyle. Different strokes for different folks.
As for "treats", I have a different meaning for that word. To me, a treat is a guilt-free imitation item that closely approximates those things I so enjoyed in my former lifestyle that unfortunately contributed to my weight problem. For example, a fat-free, sugar-free chocolate fudge pudding is a treat to me. I can eat one, enjoy it and feel good about not being off plan. Occasionally partaking in those kinds of treats helps me stay on plan. More importantly, it gives me a feeling of being in control, which I appreciate because goodness knows there's enough going on in my life that I feel I have absolutely no control over!
