My name is Kristen and I just signed up today. I weigh 398 pounds and I want and need to change my life. My daughter is one and just learned how to walk. I need to be able to catch her.

I think I belong with the 100 + group here, but I also think I need to figure out what will work for me. I have read through some of the threads and am not sure where to jump in.

To lose some weight I have just decided not to eat as much. Maybe just eat half of what I would normally eat. I have a doctors appt Wednesday, and I know I need to move more.

I am not very good at knowing where to start. So, if anyone here has a suggestion they would like to share, I would be grateful.

One last question. I do not have a scale that can weigh me at home. I usually just go by my the doctors office weight. How important is a home scale?

Thanks,
Kristen

Welcome Kristen!

You've already taken the first major step in wanting to lose weight. Congrats!

Ok let me start with the scale issue. I personally wish I didn't have one, and I think you'd be happier if you didn't have access to one at all times. I say just swing by the doc's to get weighed when needed and don't worry about the little dang numbers on the scale in the meantime. Judge your progress by the non-scale victories like clothes getting looser, feeling better, etc.

Also as for what change of eating plan you want to follow you have to see and decide what works for you. We have people here doing everything from calorie counting, to Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, and everything else you can think of. If you just plan on doing baby steps like cutting back on calories, drinking more water, etc. you may find www.fitday.com helpful in figuring out how many calories you are comsuming per day.

Hope this answers some of your questions. Feel free to jump in wherever ya want and ask any questions you may have. I guarantee someone around here will have an answer for ya Welcome again!

I totally agree with Kimberlie. Stay away from a scale. There are just too many factors that come into play when you weigh yourself...time of day, water weight, time of the month, etc etc. Also, if your scale and your doctor's scale aren't the same, you start playing the numbers game anyway and it can quickly slide into obsession.

My two other big pieces of advice:

1. Don't expect the weight to come off overnight. It might seem like it went on overnight, but it didn't. Besides, in my personal experience, it's always easier to gain it than lose it.

2. Love yourself at every step! Do NOT slip into negative thoughts about yourself, your body, your self image. Look in your mirror EVERY SINGLE DAY and remind yourself that you are a unique, special, wonderful person, no matter what your weight. You don't want your daughter equating self-worth with weight. Make sure she doesn't see you do it.

One thing you may want to do (and it may be hard mentally to do it) is to 1) take a picture of yourself or a few and 2) take your measurements. If you don't do it now, you may regret it later because it is very motivating to see your progress. As for the scale, if you could rely on your doctor's scale, that would probably be the best thing to do.

When you aren't sure what to do, starting a weight loss regimen can be quite intimidating. I would definitely recommend starting slow, making better choices in the foods you eat and watching portion sizes. The same is true for exercise, start slow, perhaps taking a walk when you can and then you can build on that later.

Hello, Kristen, and welcome! I think the others have made some good suggestions; additionally, I'd recommend spending some time reading through the threads here. There's been an awful lot written about what has really worked for people, and not only is it informative reading, it's also really motivating.

More advice is to make sure that your doctor is knowledgable about weight loss and nutrition; if they're not, then go to someone else, or consult a dietitian. (It could be covered under your insurance plan; if not, even one session could be really, really helpful if you can afford it, and your doctor could probably give you a name or two.)

Then, just keep your mind in the game and set yourself up for success through planning, and making sure you have healthy, on plan foods on hand at all times.

You can do this, Kristen....it might feel a little overwhelming at first, but you really can do this. Others have done it before you, and they didn't do it because they're any smarter than you or in possession of some magic potion. They just put one foot in front of another and made their way down a road. We're all on the same road, with the same challenges.....and we're here for you.

A lot of good info here. Just keep coming here for support. We are all pulling for you and we know you can do it.

Hello Kristen
What the others have said is really good so I'll just say YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

love Annie

Welcome Kristen,

We are glad you are here with us. It is a wonderful group of people here ~ so supportive and encouraging. It is such a comfort to be able to share with others who understand what you are going through. You can do this!! Read around here ~ check out the progress pictures thread ~ you will see some really inspiring pictures ~ it is a reminder that this can be done.

Take care

Hi Kristen! I'm glad that you have made a positive decision to do something to improve your health. I also have an extremely active little toddler and want to be a positive role model. I would hate for him to have to go through some of the same things I went through as an overweight child so I have to start eating better and being more active if I expect him to do the same as he gets older. Please feel free to jump in here anywhere or start some of your own discussions as everyone loves to participate. Also you can private message me or practically anyone here if you have some private questions, we are a pretty good group who likes to help out. Take care and best wishes.

Hi Kristen!

Wecome to the 100lb club - you are in the right place!

Well done for deciding to lose weight! I agree with all the advice here. Just take a few small steps to start with - like 'I won't eat any fast food this week' or ' I won't eat between meals'. Find something that works for you and stick to it - this will help you to begin discipling yourself. Then, as you get used to one change, introduce another. before you know it, you will be well on your way!

If you can, introduce some exercise - whatever movement you do will really help your weight loss - even just chasing after your daughter will help!

Also. I'd say try not to focus on how much you have to lose - I know myself that it is so overwhelming and can put you off even trying! Set yourself a small target and stick to it - say to lose 10 lb. Now just focus on that and nothing else - it is totally within your reach, and each 10lb goal adds up!

I agree about the scale - you really don't need one, they can be really

Finally, I agree with Glynne - check out other peoples successes on our progress pictures thread or the success forum - they are wonderfully motivating. I don't think I believed it was possible to lose 100+ lbs until I saw it with my own eyes! There is nothing extra special or different about these people (no offence!) - they are the same as you and me. So if they did it, so can we - you can do it!

There is a group in the support group forum called '300lb+ and ready to start again' which you may want to join. Alot of us belong to smaller groups for extra support!

All the best

Love Amanda x

Hi and welcome. Don't have much else to add but I hope your doctor's appt. went well.

I just want to say GOOD LUCK, you CAN do it, and echo all the great advice you've already been given.

I would also recommend reading through past threads as there is such a wealth of advice and motivation here. I am so glad I found 3FC. If I'm ever feelingdown/overwhelmed etc, I just go back through the archives here, and it has never failed to get me back on track.

Let us all know how you get on

Hey there --

I started my current program 3 years ago at the age of 39, and I've lost 145 of the 170 or so I want to lose. I've been very overweight all my life, but just kept getting larger as I got older. I finally decided that I wanted to live a long, active life, and not suffer from ill health and immobility. And, here I am.

I don't know how much of a "reader" you are, but the thing I did that helped me the most in getting started was reading. The books I read did two things: First, they gave me a sense of optimism that I could do this. Second, they gave me lots of food for thought in figuring out why I overate and why my previous weight loss attempt failed. As someone else said, this is a head game more than anything else. We do not get to be 100 or more pounds overweight from a few extra indulgences. Being this overweight is an outer symptom of other problems, and understanding those problems is the key to controlling food.

One thing I recognized is that I am a compulsive overeater, and knowing that helped me understand some of the things I needed to do to stay on program. I also realized that I had to work constantly to stay vigilant, to keep myself positive, to recognize achievements (NOT measured by the scale or the tape measure) and let those build my confidence and self-esteem. I realized that the "diet" mentality never worked, but that committing to a permanent change in my way of thinking and living and being would. This is not about "eating less" and "losing weight." It is about rebuilding your life.

Sometimes that requires help. If you haven't already, you might consider a commercial program like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I'm on Jenny Craig, and it has been a godsend for me because of the weekly one-on-one meetings with a consultant. Or, you might consider visiting a dietitian who specializes in obesity, or a counselor who deals with eating issues. Finally, Overeater's Anonymous is not a diet program, but a free support group for compulsive overeaters. If you want a do-it-yourself approach, I would recommend the Dr. Phil weight loss book (regardless of what you might think of him personally). The reason I recommend that book is that it is as much about the mental aspects of overeating and weight loss as it is just telling you what to eat.

The books I spent about 6 months reading, thinking, reflecting, thinking some more, planning, etc. before I started my program. I think that was crucial to my success, because I had a game plan and I knew (some of) the possible pitfalls ahead of time. I urge you do to the same -- don't just leap into the hot diet of the moment, or join some program on impluse. Really think about what you want to accomplish, what has brought you to this point, what roadblocks you see ahead.

Here are (some of) the books I read in preparation for starting my program, and during the early stages:

Thin for Life
The Thin Books
Stop the Insanity
Fattitudes
Fat Chat with Tamara
Getting Better All the Time

Remember, above all:

1. It's not about "motivation" -- it's about committment to a new way of life. You do what you need to do because it's what you need to do, not because you "feel like it."
2. Self-respect and a positive attitude are EVERYTHING. Nobody's perfect; all anyone can do is keep trying and keep learning.
3. Whenever you hit a mental or practical roadblock, there's ALWAYS a way around it if you look hard enough -- it just may not be the easy way out.
4. Read the Maintainer's Board for The Truth.

Funniegrrl, I wish there were a smiley for a lit lighter......but this will have to do. Consider it a standing ovation:

Kristen,

Hi there, I know how you feel. I know I need to lose at least 100 pounds and it is very overwhelming. I don't own a scale either, i don't think I could find one that could weigh me anyway. I felt similar to the way you describe. I am just taking it by baby steps, no particular diet. I am trying to baby step my way to the point where I'm eating according to the basic food pyramid. The first week or so i cut out soda, switched to wheat bread, etc. I always opt for the low fat varieties of foods when available and have been slowly adding fruits to my diet,..next is veggies, but yuck, I hate most of them. I have been working on this since august 12 and I am doing decent so far I think. I have leslie Sansone 1 mile dvd and I cant do it all, but I try as much as I can at least 5 times a week and if i can do it, I know you can too. When I am feeling discouraged or down, i come here and post and everyone is really understanding and positive:-)

I know you can do this, we are all here cheering you on:-)