And it's only 12:30 in the afternoon. I don't know what it is sometimes when I have to study, but I just go off the deep-end and eat, and eat, and eat. This makes me so incredibly frustrated, and I think of the people on this board, admiring your strength and courage, and wondering what makes you different, what makes you succeed.

I know the way to do it, I understand in great detail what makes one successful at losing weight. But I can't do it. Well, let me correct myself, I can do it, but sometimes I feel like I can't. I believe many of you can relate to this, and it really sucks, doesn't it?

I have to put aside a negative attitude, at least for now, or I will never get any studying done and my exam is tomorrow. It's just that I hate reading for this class...than I start thinking why am I even doing this University program at all? I don't even like it..than I question what I am doing with my life...it makes me unhappy...and so on....you get the idea.

In the midst of all this angst and sadness and irritation, I began to see the glass half full instead. What is not so bad about this situation and what can I do to make it better?
-I binged all morning instead of right before bed, which is much better I think. At least I have the rest of the day to hopefully STOP binging and not wake up feeling sick. Maybe I can turn things around, actually get some work done and perhaps even a workout. I have to believe I am strong and if I tell myself no more going crazy and eating everything in sight, I have to know in my heart I am capable of it.

I think I finally know the secret to success. I think it means accepting you messed up and figuring out right there and than that you have the power to change it, not later on, not tomorrow, but right this instant. I guess the power really does lie in our hands.

Right now this is all talk, and no action. How do I know I will even listen to myself or what I am saying right now? I don't...But God knows I am going to try.

I am sorry for the pessimistic ramble. I just feel yucky right now.

I hope you are all having a better day than I am.

Take Care
Cyndy

And the day just got worse. I did ok for awhile, then i started eating like crazy all over again. Blah. Stress of not wanting to study but trying is getting to me.

Hey,
I know what you mean when you talk about bingeing. I do it all the time. Everytime I do it to, I say to myself that I am deffinatly going to start to diet tomarrow, but then I brake one little rule in my diet and that taints the whole day with me sayign that I srewed up once, so I will just start tomarrow. The thing you have to remeber is that you cant tell yourself that everytime or you get no where. But if you happen to just want to eat one day, then there is always a tomarrow to make it better and start fresh. Your life doesnt stop just beacuse of one night. My father always tells me that it isnt what you eat in one night, it is the way that you eat everynight. So if you have a party and decide to have some cake, then that is ok, just dont have that cake everynight. lol well I hope that I help just a lil bit in all of this rambling on and on. If you want I can try to help you with anything I can. Good luck tomarrow and tonight!

Thank you so much for the reply. And your father does have some sound advice, I appreciate that, and it makes much sense. It is the span of how we eat over time that defines our weight, generally not a screw up occassionally. You do not gain 5 pounds of fat in a day, in a couple months, yes, but not overnight.

How are you doing? How long have you been trying to make a lifestyle change? What are your goals and aspirations like?

I am around oh I don't even know exactly I never did weigh regularly for a long time so anywhere between 135 - 140 lbs. sheesh. I am about 5'2 and a half.

Good luck and talk to you soon. Thanks again hun

I am fine thank you! how are you? I am really glad that I helped just a little bit! Well here is my info... I am 5'2 140lb 14years old. I have been dieting for about a year and I started out at 164. I would be at my goal weight (115lb) if I had stayed on my diet. lol! But unfortuetly, I gained weight. My losest weight was 125 right before chirstmas, and from about there on, I havent got back to dieting. Today I am trying to offically start it again. My plan is just eat healthier food and exericse as much as I can. I did lose weight on the South Beach diet but I found out that it was way to hard to stick to. So enough about be...what about u?

That's so cool, our stats are very similar, we're about the same height and weight. This is just about the highest I have ever been in terms of weight, but I gave up healthier habits about 2 years ago when I was consistently 120 lbs but was obsessed with dieting and instead of going below 120 I eventually gained 20 lbs. I now know better, I know that all or nothing thinking will get you no where, and obsessive restriction of calories is just as bad.

We should help each other out because I would like to weigh about 115 lbs as well. Do you count calories? I was going to start doing that again more strictly, like around 1500. WHat do you think? How fast do you try to lose per week, about a pound?

Anyways, I look forward to chatting with you

Cyndy, I BINGED TOOO!!! AND I CAN'T STOP!!!! I've HAD 4000 calories today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T STOP!!!!!!!!!!
I feel utterly hopeless. I've been bingeing for 3 days now. I've lost all my self control. I hate myself. I can't stop crying, and I can't stop eating.

missyK, I am so sorry to hear how upset you are. I just wanted to give you some ((hugs)). I have leaving for my exam soon but I will write to you later. At least know that you are not alone. We will help each other. Take care.

Hey Missy K, I am so sry to hear that you are upset too. But I know where you are coming from beacuase I have done that and cried myself to sleep so so many times. I dont know if this could work, but when that happens you can try to go out for a movie or go shopping to keep yourself away from food. I know they have snacks for the movie but I suggest that you just take money for the ticket. That is what I always to! Well I am here if you need anything! I hoped i helped a lil bit and that you will feel better and not worry about a few day!

*sniff sniff* thanks...you guys are the BEST!!!

Yeah, Hcred123, I DO cry myself to sleep. Mainly because It hurts so much, both physically and emotionally. Why must we have these self-sabotage attitudes? Sigh...

Missy K, I also would like to add that you have to look GREAT! 113! I cant even amagin weighing that! My goal weight is 115 and I want to be toned. I am 5'2 too! But I am 140. But I am sure that you look AWESOME!

I know what you mean hcred123, I can't even imagine being 113!! I don't think I have weighed that since I was in grade school. At least I didn't binge too bad today, although when I cam home from my exam I ended up eating so many chips and other stuff. Ugh, why do I do that? Anyways, at least I stopped after that. And I am going out to a night club with a couple of my girl friends, but since I am driving at least I can't have a lot to drink which will save me some calories Both my friends are smaller than me, which sux, but I am kinda used to it. The funny thing is, and I totally don't mean this in a conceited way at all, but at least I still get just as much attention from the guys as they do lol, which makes me not feel like such as outcast.

My one friend is about 5'3, maybe 5'2, and weighs around 95 lbs. SHe is the smallest 24 yr old I've ever seen! And she has always been that way naturally. But when I spend like a weekend with her at a cottage or where ever, I notice she really doesn't eat that much and is so picky. Like once we were eating these mexican tortilla things, and because hers was so juicy from the veggies and was kinda spilling out the other end (and on her white skirt!) that she didn't want it anymore...i am like whaaat!? just because its juicy and spilling out the other end of the tortilla? Like hold it in a napkin or something!!! lol, skinny people are weird hehehe im so just joking I love her!

Anyways, I am going to really start concentrating more on eating healthier and exercising now that it is less stress having my course done and all...but school starts soon so I am going to have to learn to control binges when i am stressed.

I will write more tomorrow

Good night ladies
Cyndy

Hey, I hoped you have fun at the club! I know what you mean about the friends that are smaller than you. All of my friends are. That is one of the reasons that i want to lose so that I can fit in a bit more with them. lol I dont want to sound petty, but I dont get any attention from guys. They are always the ones that do. I am only 14 so I really really hope that highschool will change that a bit, but I am not getting my hopes up.

today wasnt that bad with my dieting. I didnt have anything that bad except a capicinno with wipp cream, chocolet and carmal on it. but it was good and I did exercise today. I did 50 sit up and walked 3.75 miles on the tredmil. Hopefully if I can keep it up I will see some results soon! And another thing I wanted to say I used to have a friend that was really really really skinny. and mean that. I used to stay over at her house all the time and she never ate anything. She could go and wake up and then her mom would tell her to eat at 2 pm. When I got home I was almost starved to death! Ok that is enough for me! btw GREAT JOB!!! even though you had a lil bit of a snack, you were able to stop. And also you are deffinaty goign to burn those caliories off dancing if that is the type of club you are goign to!

Cyndy, I just posted these on another thread. Pay close attention to numbers 7 and 8. And I knew I'd forget some of my words I live by until hcred123 reminded me of one important one. Once we've lost a sizeable amount of weight, we will NOT gain it back from falling off the wagon. It's the staying off the wagon that does it. So hop right back on.

I'm taking two classes at night myself. I throw an apple, some pre-packaged carrots and ranch dip, and a yogurt into my book bag cause I wanna much in class. Try some of those types of snacks when studying. Go ahead and eat, just find healthier eats when you're in munch craze.

Encouragement Tips:

1. Buy a really nice outfit one size smaller than you wear and keep it in plain sight everyday until you can fit into it, then buy another one a size smaller than that...and so on.

2. If you ever start gaining a bit, do NOT EVER justify buying a size larger to fit into. Wear them in discomfort until you get the pounds back down. Once you make one justification, you'll continue to do so until you're back up there.

3. You didn't get overweight overnight, you won't get skinny overnight. So if you ever get discouraged, remember that.

4. Water tastes good. If it doesn't now, it will by the time you flush all the toxins out of your system.

5. Exercise maybe painful, but it boosts your energy so you can actually get more done, it makes you healthier, it adds years to your life, and it gets you whistled at.

6. If you find it hard to exercise, try a change of times or places. I found getting up at 5:00 a.m. to jog outside in the dark, rain and snow wasn't my thing, but going to the club right after work, before I sit down at home or have dinner is doable.

7. Never ever ever go hungry, just eat right. If you're hungry in between, eat veggies or fruit as much or often as needed. Drinking lots of water helps fill you up too.

8. 100% whole wheat...it's filling. Cut down on breads and pastas and change the ones you do eat to whole wheat. Check the ingredients. They often lie on the front just to pull you in.

9. Speaking of...get to reading those ingredients in everything.

10. Park several blocks from work and get in some walking. Find the furthest parking spots from all your favorite stores and ALWAYS return your buggy. Four times across the entire lot is good exercise.

Wow those are really really cool tips! thanks alot! I am going to print them out and put them on my wall!