I'm going to take a huge leap of faith here and get some advice.

I am 26 years old. I have suffered a lot, from verbal/emotional abuse as a child and teenager, to multiple sicknesses, surgeries, etc, to finding out 2 months after I got married my husband was hiding a major secret from me. My biggest coping mechanism has been food, with a tie for second place of sucking my thumb and still holding onto a security blanket I've had since I was a child. I have tried very hard to give these two things up. however, when I am really depressed, or just stressed, it's hard not to turn to these two habits again. My husband does NOT understand at all, and it seems every time I manage to get back on track with eating, within 24-48 hours he is on me again about the blanket or the thumb. And of course, I've been on track for 24 hours, and wham, the email comes. I just don't know what to do or how to explain to him i can't give everything up and have him understand.

Any ideas or suggestions? I appreciate it.

ok now I'm feeling dumb about putting this out here since 8 people read it and no one posted..

Hi there. Don't get discouraged, a lot of people may not be able to relate to what you're going through so they don't have any advice. But I'm sure someone can help you.

I am 20 years old and I also suffered a lot of emotional abuse growing up. You said that you eat as comfort..well, I am also an emotional eater so I can definatly relate! And as far as the blanket and thumb sucking, everyone deals with things in different ways. I actually used to cut myself with a razor blade. I guess it got my mind off of the emotional pain and turned it into physical pain.

The only really good advise that I can give you is to seek counseling. Even better if your husband would go with you. I know it is hard to ask for help and I was even embarrased to go at first but you have already taken the first step by posting here. It really, really helps to talk to someone that you know won't judge you! And believe me, they have always heard worse! Counselors are there to help. I really hope that you are able to go. Our insurance covered a lot of mine so you might find out if you can get any financial help if you need it.

As for the emotional eating, I am having a really hard time dealing with that and am in no shape to really give advise, but I can tell you what kind of works for me. I am still struggling but when I have the feeling to binge or eat when I am not hungry, I try to get out of the house. I'll put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk. And I make sure that I don't take any money with me so I can't get fast food! Going to a room that I can't see or smell food and reading or doing some other activity helps me a lot too.

Well, feel free to send me a message if you ever want to. We can support each other. I hope you have a great day! We can get through this!

Leigh

First of all, sometimes I'll read a post and have to think about it for awhile before responding so don't worry about the non-responders.

Okay....realize that your husband is being verbally abusive by talking about your thumb and blanket! You are under no obligation to give his reasons why you need them in your life! In other words, tell him to shut up. Just who does he think he is anyway!?

I'll post more later. I grew up in a home that was filled with emotional, verbal and physical abuse,so, please know, that you're not alone!

Beth Anne, thanks for sharing this. Your not the only one out there that does this. There's a girl here at work that doesn't hide it, she will suck her thumb and twist her hair right in front of you or a group of people, she is about 26 years old or so. Its nothing to be ashamed of really.

Have you spoken to your husband like you have to us here ?? does he know what he is doing to you ? The only suggestion I would have to you is to get Him to go to therapy with you. Some times it takes a stranger to make us understand what we are doing.

I don't know any one that can give up several habbits at once, sheesh, its tough enuf just to "try" to give up, and/or control one, yet 2 or 3.

Does your DH have any that you could point out and say, you know honey how would you like it if ................................ well thats exactly what your doing to me ?

Tippy is right, don't pay attention to the view posts, that really doesn't mean anything.

HUGS to you and you know you can post here or on the daily and we will help you any way we know how.

Leenie

I don't have advice. I do remember seeing a thumbsucker on Dr. Phil so you could go to his site and see what he had to say.....I think that she was the one that wanted to give the habit up.....not sure if that is true for you. The bottom line is that it has to be something you want to do......no matter how much someone else may want it.

About your husbands thoughts and feelings on the issue.....you had mentioned in one of your posts today that your husband was quite cuddley to you and it was something that you enjoy and have missed....the bottom line is that our behaviours do affect those that are around us and that your husband may want you at your best, it may be the act of thumbsucking he doesn't like, or it may be the issues that lead you to suck your thumb that makes him uncomfortable.......of course if he is being cruel or unkind then that is not loving.....but I know my husband "calls me on some of my behaviours" and he helps me sometimes to look at things I would rather not look at....it goes both ways.....but you need a trusting loving relationship to do that.

I know that for me it is very hard to give up things that have brought me comfort......food.....running busy......alcohol......sleep.......it is a constant journey for us all......we sometimes have similar or different issues but we are all just doing the best that we can...that is what it is all about here.....thank you for trusting us enough to open up. I don't think though that every time someone says something we dont' want to hear that means we don't need to hear it.

That is my 2 Cents worth.

Eliz

Hi Everyone,
thanks for your great advice and opinions. I really appreciate it more than you will know, and the acceptance as well!! I tried to talk to my husband about it, and we got in a fight, of course. His point of view was that since he has had to give up all his ways of dealing with stress because they were either A. destructive, or B. financially impossible right now, that he doesn't understand why I can't give up all of mine. I Think its his way of reasoning, but it really hurt me at first. I've been trying to think it through and figure it out, but its tough. He said he doesn't feel like just because he's had to give everything up doesn't mean that I should, but he just doesn't seem to get it. I don't know. At least I told him he has to deal with it for now, and he seemed relatively ok with that. We'll see what happens. thanks agin for the advice.