I need help. I am at my highest weight ever. I started my journey back in 2001 at 303 pounds now I am at 307. I had a breakdown at my TOPS meeting this last week. I have tried so hard to do good and the scale just keeps going up. I don't know if I can face the scale on Tuesday. I think I cried for 2 hours straight on Tuesday. This weight gain could be for many different reasons. I know my Thyroid level is normal I had it tested to make sure but in the last 3 months it was increased from .015mcg to .2mcg. Also this last time I was in the office I needed my anti-depressant renewed and he decided to change it. The Celexa was not working so he moved me to Effexor XR. Now I dont' know if that will cause weight gain but I guess it could. Now I need to get on the ball and start doing something to lose this weight and i decided to come back and try to post as often as I can since I just went back to school and have online classes to take. Now I know STRESS is really high right now because of school, single mom of 2 kids, 2 and 7, and working full time so I need to figure out how to work around these stressors and clear time for myself also. Well it's now almost 9 PM and i have to get the kids to bed. Thanks for letting me come back and join the group.

Hello Tamara, Welcome back! I may not know you, but I darn sure wish you the best at starting again. I've been a single mom before to. I was working full time, going to school full time and trying to be the best mom I could be. It is truly very stressful. One day at a time. It will all come back together for you and you will find your balance.

I did a google search on Effexor XR and this is what it came up with. You may want to disscuss it with your doctor. I hope this helps and I know you can get started on the right track again.

"What about weight gain or jitteriness? In studies with EFFEXOR XR, there was a low incidence of weight gain or jitteriness (agitation). To learn how EFFEXOR XR has helped others get back to their lives again, see Personal Stories."

http://www.effexor.com/b/b1.asp

Welcome back. I know it will be hard but you can do it. I posted about a month ago about trying to find the time to fit in my exercise while working full-time and having 2 kids under 2 and a 9 yo step son with ADHD. You know what? After that first couple of weeks, it's been easy to fit in exercise. I take 30 minutes of my lunch break and walk for 1. Since it's staying light outside longer, I will try and do more exercise at the house after the kids are in bed. As for eating, planning is the key when you are supermom. Even if it's just taking a few minutes the night before, plan what you want to eat the next day and stick to it. Good luck.

Tamara... if I remember correctly.. you have had a very stressfull couple of years! What's important is that you keep coming here, that even though you are not (always) on a plan that you know you should be!

Btw.. I am at my highest right now too! I know it sucks! In 1999 I started at 220 lbs... 2001 225 lbs..... I have been at my lowest here at 208 lbs. I am currently at 242 lbs.

If you are like me... you feel disappointed in yourself. You can't believe you let yourself do this. I don't have an answer for you right now.. but I know we both are supposed to be here! I joined the May challenge.. I have not gotten any of my food points yet. But I am not quitting. You want to know why? because if I quit I know that I will come back even heavier then what I am right now. It seems hard to believe.. but history tells me this. My plan right now.. is not to GAIN WEIGHT!!

Dana - When did you change your screen name?

Thanks all for the support. I have to weigh in tonight and I am scared. We will keep our fingures crossed and the hopes high. Thanks again.

Tamara, good luck with the weigh-in tonight.

Tamara.. let us know how you feel after tonight. Just think of it as a fresh start. and yes, you are allowed as many as you want!!

I am in much the same position - I was feeling really low about it all, so I searched the net for some inspirational quotes and these were my favourites:

'Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just aswell put it to the best possible use' (Earl Nightingale)

'Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you are going to do NOW. Then do it. (William Durant)

'If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin' (Ivan Turgenev)

And my particular favourite.....

'It's never too late to be what you might have been' (George Eliot)

Hope they inspire you too!

Love Amanda xx

I lost I was shocked. 3 3/4 pounds off. I am 1 pound away from my starting weight. I am working back to 300 by the middle of the month. It's 4 pounds but I don't want to set the goal to high so I get disappointed if I don't make it but I will. Thanks all for the support and I hope to be able to get on more often. Summer class starts next week. Thanks again.

Ooh, I thought I'd post because that's me! I think when I joined in 1999 I was about 270 pounds. I dropped down to 170 (still heavy for 5'2" but it worked well for me at the time) and maintained for 2 years. Then I crept up and over 2 years managed to put on a lot of weight and I'm probably back up to 300 pounds. I'm scared to weigh! Still in size 28 womens clothes but barely.

I know why I gained it back. I have problems with depression and then problems with anemia, and when they kick up it's a downward spiral. I'm depressed so I don't feel like going out and doing things. So I'll sit around home and, well, there's food. And I'm amenic, so I'll have literally no energy to do anything. Then my anemia will get worse because I'll lapse into poor eating habits, and I'm horrible about taking my iron and vitamin supplements, I really am. So it all spirals down.

So. Since I feel better when I'm eating better and exercising, I'm focusing on eating better (nutritionally) now, and not binge eating. I mean, I literally could eat a bag of 5-serving jelly beans for a meal. Bad things like that. Sodas back in my diet. Restaurant meals (I do business travel a lot) and I swear they just sprinkle calories over the food before they serve it! So, well, not healthy eating, right.

I'm not weighing now. I'm not focusing on losing weight, though I hope it'll be a side effect of eating healthier. I'm not even focusing on exercising right now until I get my anemia under control (I am focusing on taking my iron supplements to manage that) because, honestly, I feel sluglike in terms of energy right now, and it's just not going to happen. I have enough to focus on. First couple of days have gone real well. It's just trying to find options that work for me since I hate cooking and don't, and am on business travel a lot. It's tricky.

Update!

I snuck on a scale -- sort of but not really. It was one of those sliding doctor weight scales in the bathroom at work. I had to be quick in case someone walked it! (I mean, if not for the scale they would never know I weighed so much... )

But I'm over my all-time high of 270. BUT I'm under 300 pounds, which was my estimate. So, eh.