Yesterday I was at the pool, with people who haven't seen me in a while, and they all barraged me with questions and comments, among them "how did you do it?" and I was lost for something coherent to say. It's hard for me to put the whole experience into words, it's so personal, and just saying "diet and exercise" doesn't seem to satisfy people. They all seem to be looking for some "magic" to weight loss, but I don't have any!

I definitely don't feel comfortable going into all the details of my program in casual conversation, as it's just too time consuming and has too many potential social land mines-- e.g., it could come off as arrogance or criticism. Besides, I just want to get on with my life-- for me weight loss is a project, a group of habits and practices, not the whole of my identity. I'd rather talk about baseball, or the election, or music.

I'd like to find some sort of short, gracious, simple all-purpose phrase that "turns" the conversation, without getting me into hot water or involving me in a major science lecture.

you are an extremely gracious person no matter what you say...

how about keeping with the simplicity of something like: it was a whole lot of changes that i needed to make, some big, and some small. i could never find the magic answer, so i stopped looking [or maybe 'if you hear of it, let me know!!!]

and then change the subject!!!!!

but SITC... no matter what, you've done a tremendous amount of very hard work and it's really showing. you are an idol, in my book. and you deserve every word of praise that you receive...

how about something like, it was a lifestyle change and one day when you have a few free hours i'll tell you and then change the subject.

After losing almost 70 pounds (so far), I find myself in the same boat as you! I tend to just tell people that I changed my eating habits and found some forms of exercise that I like. Then I change the subject with a big old "heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy cute shoes!"

I've lost a lot of weight (140 pounds) on a well-known commercial program. But, as you mention, it really takes a lot of changes in many areas of your life, including some deep personal mental and spiritual work, to make that kind of weight loss happen. Still, if it's just an "omigod, how did you do it?" question, I simply answer with the name of the program, maybe with an added smile and, "And a whole lot of hard work."

I know others on the program who don't want to give the name because every program, sensible or not, has critics and naysayers. So, they give the generic, "healthy eating and exercise" answer.

I think that's plenty gracious. If anyone wants to know more for personal reasons, you can discuss it or tell 'em to talk to you at a time when you both have time to go into detail. If they're just rude and prodding you for personal details, there's no reason you have to answer, just smile sweetly, wave it off as "nothing, really" and change the subject.

I always say, "Just like everyone else, one day at a time."

I find that saying "diet and exercise" is all I need to say to "turn the conversation". As you so correctly point out, everyone wants to hear the "secret" or the "magic formula" for weight loss. What book? What plan? What diet du jour?

I'm OK with answering questions about how I did it, especially in light of the huge obesity problem we have in this country today. Anything that I can say or do that might help someone deal with a weight problem is just fine with me.

Unfortunately, as soon as they hear it's all about hard work, sweat, self-discipline, portion control, planning -- all the lifestyle changes we make -- the eyes glaze over and the conversation moves on.

Heh - Megster - that's the same three-word phrase I use when peeps ask ME that question! "Diet and Exercise, and thanks for the compliment" with a big smile of course Generally people don't want to hear my Whole Life Story - especially since this is usually asked 'in passing' (i.e. in the elevator at work). Matter of fact, these days, the question doesn't come up that often since I lost the bulk of my weight many years ago...I'm just a 'regular person' now. Although I do get compliments at the gym from time to time...that's always nice!