Hey Brena... Sorry I don't have any solutions but just wanted to say hang in there. What especially caught my eye was your birthday... mine is May 26 so we are almost birthday twins. And remember, real beauty is on the INSIDE, although all of us wish our outsides matched. Don't give up... there are many here who understand and care.

Sue in Seattle

Brena, your ex boyfriend was a jerk, obviously he didn't love you for the beautiful person you ARE inside. Nobody wants a phony relation ship like that. Don't you worry, you will find some one that will fall in love with you for YOU and not for your weight. I know so many women that are 100+ lbs over weight and have wonderful BFs or Hubby's.

You need to just get serious about your weight loss. No one can do this for you but you.

Put the past behind you, what done is done, you have today and tomorrow and the next day to look forward to. Have you spoken to your doctor to see what diet plan would be good for you ? I would NEVER suggest diet pills to anyone, for one they are dangerous and two, if you don't learn to control your eating now, what do you think is going to happen once you stop taking diet pills.......yup you got it, you'll gain back twice as much.

So, get on a sensible weight loss plan, a safe one, drink water and start an exercise routine but make sure its okay w/your doctor first (don't know if your on meds or what not).

You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have a bf thats in love with YOU and not your figure.

HUGS !!!!!!!

Dear Brena,
I am so glad you posted and were able to express your pain.............this room can be very supportive and at times very direct!

Start today making some changes.Weight loss and changing habits takes a while but start TODAY..................just with portion sizes.....choices..and a little activity.

I would not challenge myself to lose a certain amount by your Birthday....I would challenge myself to make small changes daily.................it might even be a good idea for you to start a "success journal"......start writing down every IMPROVEMENT & change that you make..record all the good things you are doing! It will build your confidence in yourself and that is important!

Those numbers WILL change dear......................if you put a lot of WANT behind them!

Think about what YOU want the MOST.instead of what you may want at the moment! I promise this will help you!

We are applauding you already!

Sincerely
Cin

Brena- I know exactly how you feel...I'm 5'11 weighing 280. And I come from a SKINNY family. My mom is a stick, my sister is a gorgeous stick, and my moms whole side of the family are nutrition freaks...so you can imagine the self esteem I have. I used to think boys would never give me a second look, no one wanted to talk to me and it DESTROYED my social life when i left for college and was out on my own. Turns out none of its the truth. Many people see past the weight and they dont care, we just dont give others a chance because we dont think they want a chance with us....we jsut look in the mirror with VERY critical eyes, and take notice to EVERY flaw. I do it Every day and its a horrible habit....very hard to break. Now I look for improvements and thats helped a lot. I'm just starting out on this long weight loss journey too...so im right here with you girl. Your boyfried was a jerk and left you for the wrong reason(but you already know that) I was lucky enough to find a man my age (20) who believe it or not is able to look past that. (didnt think they existed at this age!) But every day he tells me im beautiful....lol sometimes hot ;-) and yeah i have a hard time seeing it myself....but as long as he does thats all that matters to me and still makes me feel good. BUT he'll also give me a wake up call every now and then and tell me to quit complaining cause i do it a lot and hes sick of hearing about it but still wasnt doing anything about it (NOT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE DOING THAT) but it was a little bit of a slap of the face and i knew it was true...so now here I am, taking action and he's with me every step of the way. If you're wanting to find someone...you will, be patient prince charming will come youre way . Otherwise....another suggestion to get rid of the negative feelings is write them down. I used to hate keeping a journal. Thought it was stupid but its SOOOOO theraputic. I can express what i want to, cry all over the place and no one else hears me/sees me. Sometimes, so I'm not reminded of the bad thoughts, I throw them away but it feels soooo good just to get it all out. (and i get a lot of those negative feelings still....those dont just go away immidiately) you know when you just have those days when youre just glum for no apparent reason and then you look in the mirror and your day just gets so much worse (well at least i have those days) ....thats when i write. Afterwards its like a lot of extra weight lifted off my shoulders (too bad that doesnt really happen right ;-) ) Anyway sorry this was so long but I just wanted to let you know that There are people who feel the same was as you do. It gets better I promise. Good luck to you and your goals. PLEASE feel free to write me anytime. I'm always here for someone in need of a shoulder to cry on, and am always willing to listen.

~Michelle

You've received some very good advice from some very wise ladies.

I want to add that there is no boyfriend that will make you happy until you make yourself happy. Having a man in a womans life does NOT make that woman complete or fulfilled or happy or self assured.

By the way, that boyfriend you had is a piece of dog doo-doo! I had one like that once. He broke up with me because my girlfriend could dance and I couldn't. Thank God he broke up with me or I might have been stuck with the jerk. The last time I heard about him was 40+ years ago when it was said he moved to NJ!

Thankyou so much for writing this to me. I was having a very hard day today and reading that theres someone that cares and is like me makes me feel alot better. I have a boyfriend at the moment that tells me good things about my self, but sometimes says hurtful things. So I need to either learn to be happy with myself, or do something about it. Thankyou again for your post.
Brena