Hello Kathleen and thank you for starting the December thread!

Yes we had a nice Thanksgiving, our older son hosted at his house (just 20-ish minutes away) and younger son and fiance joined us (they live about an hour away). I'm so glad you had 2 nice get togethers and that your son got through the one with the girlfriend's family! that can be scary!

My job (which I start tomorrow!!) will be Customer Service/Sales...answering the phone, taking orders, yes for a seed company. I am a *little* nervous..hopefully I won't be the wreck I was when I was starting my other new winter jobs in the past. Apparently they have been able to work without masks; but we have to be masked for the training period.

I drove my new-to-me car in the snow yesterday evening, and I feel pretty confident in her which is a good thing! Another good thing is that new job is only 14 minutes away (on dry roads - maybe a couple more minutes if it's snowy).

Hope to hear from others!

Hi, well my first day of work was bleh I am just not familiar enough yet with the PC (as opposed to my Chrome book) and everything that everyone else is blitzing through, I am struggling. My supervisor is very kind and sweet and I made full disclosure that I was not tech savvy, I am trying my best but I am definitely anxious . Like i had never created a folder before, LOL, never had to and had to be talked through it, it is embarrassing to me. . I took all kinds of written notes and listened carefully but bleh, it sucks to feel so inept. I know i went thru this with my other winter jobs too!

Had 2 more days of awful on the job anxiety. Haven't been able to eat much and that is OK that I don't weight as much as I thought but I would rather not lose it by feeling so upset.

I did reach out and communicated that I was struggling badly; that I did want to succeed and am taking notes and reading the manual at night (which just makes it more frustrating because I don't have the program to practice on). And I said I would understand if it was not working out (Maybe not the best career move to say 'you can fire me if you need to' LOL) The manager girl is SO very sweet and patient and she said it is OK. In the employee Handbook it says an employee who is not performing to expectations should reach out; and the manager needs to try to coach. So I have done exactly 'by the book'. What I need is someone to sit right by me and walk me through steps, as I take notes. Then I can refer to my notes to complete the task; then practice to get it cemented. I DONT know how the other 3 trainess have been sailing through

Good day, I am new to this forum and was surprised to see this thread. I have battled with depression, low self esteem off and on for most of my life. How I feel about myself affects how I take care of myself. Covid didn't help as I live in a very rural area and was so isolated for about a year. My boyfriend lives in a nearby state and we followed the guidelines and went long periods without seeing each other. I was very alone and tried to throw myself into my gardening, but the feelings were always there, I was bored although i had lots I could do, but I had no interest. My mind was 'well I am either going to eat or drink' and I did. I have things going on with my family that are serious health issues and it is always just below the surface. I am struggling to get myself more active and stay on program, I need to be at my best to face what is going on. I have never put these thoughts in writing before, I am hoping it helps me to face it.

Hello Gone Astray! to our little but mighty group HEY I live right next to you, Northern Vermont

I am glad you found your way here. It does help to unburden yourself from thoughts sometimes! and we are very caring and non-judgy and supportive. I'm so sorry you had to deal with a year of being so isolated, that must have been awful especially with your boyfriend out of state.

I have found an exercise lady on youtube who I love so much. I don't know your age, Gone Astray, but this lady is so lovely and cheerful and down to earth, her specialty is ladies 'of a certain age' (like 50's) but she is so fun, I get up early just to make sure I do a workout with her. if you are interested I'll put her name here

I hope you visit us more and we can get to know each other. again, !

Hi Kathleen!!! Belated Happy Birthday!! I forgot our birthdays are very close, mine was the 2nd. Hey 55 is still a youngster I am sure you will attain whatever remaining health goals you have this year!

I wish I could advise on the health insurance, I think both our sons have our State's health exchange and my husband and I have MVP. But whatever you chose, we always get screwed!! that is rude I know but it's the truth. You either pay a horribly large deductable and what, hope you get ill or hurt so you can take advantage of it; or pay a small deductible and then get freakin shafted on costs. It's all a racket sorry that wasn't helpful at all was it!

I'm glad you had a good time with your son's girlfriend. it is always GREAT if we like our son's girlfriends!

and I am GLAD to hear someone else has trouble with folder!!! if it isnt something you do every day, how could we know how to, or how to be good at it??

Well I had an "OK" day at work yesterday but today was back to despair. The 3 girls that came on with me? they are SAILING through!! i don't know HOW. Today they were taking calls from customers, creating orders, doing all the processes...i was just in despair. We did have individual meetings this afternoon with the sweet manager lady. I told her I was slightly better than Wednesday morning when I told her I was OK at being fired . I said I want to succeed, that I like the office, the people, the company (organic seeds) but I NEED more intense training. I need someone literally sitting next to me, guiding me; and I need to take notes that I can read later; THEN I can slowly get through. (There is a 80 page manual but I can't folllow it ) I said I was willing to come in early, stay late, and I would do that unpaid! She assured me that no one would work without getting paid and she was still confident in me. Next week will be a little quieter and she said I would not be put to anything I cant do and more opportunity for training. She is so kind!!! I will stick it out as long as I can.

Hey as an office person I can say the TGIF!!! yay for weekends!!

Gone Astray: Welcome to the group! I'm so happy that you posted. You are very courageous to put your thoughts in writing here. You sound very in tune with yourself, which puts you way ahead of many on this journey... of weight loss, depression, and life. I'm so sorry that Covid hit you so hard. That must have been difficult to be so isolated and to go long periods without seeing your boyfriend. I hope that you give yourself credit for surviving such a difficult year!

I have struggled with major depression in the past. One of my twins (first born children) died 25 years ago and then we had a handicapped child 3 years later. Both the surviving twin and our handicapped daughter were born very prematurely and spent significant time in the NICU, which was extremely stressful. Both of these events were very hard on our marriage (each event alone usually ends in divorce), so that was an added stressor. At the time of my daughter's birth, I began therapy for some very serious issues from my past, which I am sad to say I still battle to this day. I am also a breast cancer survivor (2015). My son is 25 now and my daughter is 22 and doing well despite her handicap. I wouldn't trade them for anything! 💙💜

I, too, have battled low self-esteem for much of my life. I can also very much relate to you when you said you were bored even though there was lots you could do, but you had no interest. Even though I am not deeply depressed anymore, I sometimes catch myself feeling that way and it makes me realize that I must still have some level of depression under the surface. My biggest struggle these days, though (and also a lifelong struggle), is anxiety.

Anyway, I'm glad you are here, and I hope to hear from you again! I am really struggling with getting more active, too. Let's encourage each other! We can do this! We will be cheering you along all the way to your goals!

good evening, thank you so much for the warm welcome.
Biker Chick-I used to have a Harley(07 Heritage Softail ) and belonged to the local HOG group, did lots of rides all over New England. Was a life saver during and after my divorce in 09. I got a dog in 2011 and sold the bike a few years later as I didn't want to go out and leave him after work as he was home alone for 10 hours a day. I often miss it, sure helped my head in those awful days. I can relate to your job worries, I went from a 10 year job in Accounting to a job in purchasing ( same company). I was so sure they were going to fire me as I felt I just wasn't going to get it. I usually pick up quickly but this was just so hard. I finally stopped getting impatient with myself, took a lot of deep breaths, and told myself that I would learn it one part at a time-while taking good notes. I did, and I excelled at it and the design engineering group I took care of loved me and the changes I made. Have faith in yourself and give yourself some time.
IBelieveinME2- You are a very strong person and you have gotten yourself through a lot of things that other people could not have. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you are in a good place with your children and your health now.
My daughter came up and spent the night-left her 4 kids home with hubby-we had a great night of gabbing, watching ridiculous TV shows and laughing a lot. Did both of us a lot of good. She is going through chemo right now-she finished up daily radiationa and chemo, and is now doing oral double dose one week a month. Makes her quite sick, but she has a positive attitude, and I know I have to do the same.
Food has been great, having an easy time to stay on program. I need more steps and exercise , today was supposed to be 55 degrees and rainy, well we sure got the rain but never got above 45, was miserable. I had planned to do some woodworking in my shop but it is unheated and was just to cold and damp for it to be any fun.

I am getting ready for work but am so glad to see Gone Astray's nice post I will try to get back here this evening to say Hey properly.

good afternoon,
Holly, I hope your job is going better, but bet you are glad it is Friday.

IBelieveInMe2- nice that you can work out with your daughter. Mine is coming up tonight for another girls night and bringing my grand daughters, ages 10 and 15. Will be a really fun girls night with those 2

Not much going on here, staying positive and sticking to my program completely, still trying to get in more steps. Seems like I am running all over doing errands and that is just too much sitting around.

Have a good weekend

Ann

Good morning! Ann I am glad to know your 'real' name and so cool to have another friend here. I love that you can have those daughter fun times together! and granddaughters too, how wonderful. I hope you had a fabulous time together! I loved hearing about your job success, switching from one dept to another, full of doubt but then doing so excellently. That is fantastic. And shows how we can grow, I guess!

Did you get a ton of snow yesterday/overnight in NH? we got 6-8". Husband went out with the snowthrower yesterday and then right before leaving for work last night (he works night shift as Night Auditor at a hotel) but he does only the major area and usually i'm the one to do the 'fine touches" like paths to walk the dog, clearing around the garbage/recycling containers, a path to the compost bin, and I am a stickler for widening the driveway as much as possible. We bought the Toro snowthrower last year and it is the best investment EVER. Previously we had a dinky electric one lol.

Kathleen oh cool yes I am familiar with that oh-so-pretty "Shelly" lady, I have done a couple of her workouts; and she has makeup and clothes tutorials too. I even followed her advice on some reliable outfits for ladies our age. A pair of nice jeans, a pair of nice white sneakers, and a classic long sleeved white button down shirt or a long-ish black tee shirt. With a little accent jewelry. But she is so gorgeous to start with! lol I think I'll end up looking like her and it doesn't work like that haha! We did not do anything fun for my birthday except have a delicious dinner at home. But our plans are that today, we are going to younger son/fiance's house to belatedly celebrate my birthday and celebrate hers (which is tomorrow) .

Ann it is great that you are staying on program. Is this an exercise program you are speaking of, a way of eating, both?

Things are finally getting a little better at work. I am just such a slow learner especially tech stuff. My manager (and she is young, like late 20's or early 30's) is so patient kind and understanding. They actually want to 'play to my strengths' like asking if I'm okay for now just working on the mail orders? LOL that's like the only thing I mostly 'get' now. My 'soft phone' is still not working for me which is not good, I need the practice! And she knows that I need time to take careful handwritten notes when we learn something new; then I can refer to them and do it myself; and keep them for reference. But I am going in with the best attitude I can and i know that accounts for alot these days.

I think I am down a couple pounds because for the first week, my stomach was a nervous wreck and I could hardly eat anything during the day; when i came home at night i was ravenous but would start to think of work and get upset again. The second week (last week) improved alot but I just don't have any appetite during the work day (though my stomach is growling) and can only eat when I get home. Probably as I get more and more comfy with the job I'll go back to my ol' bad eating habits and put those pounds back on. I am hovering over the 'normal'/overweight' criteria for a while now and would sure like to be in the Normal.

So I have to gear up to tackle the snow, husband got home from work and is trying to sleep now; we will hopefully leave at 1:00 to go to younger son/fiance's for the afternoon. I stayed up til 2:00 last night to finish wrapping the Christmas gifts and I am going to bring some of them also today; that will lessen the amount we will bring on Christmas Day as the SUV will be full with us and the dog and the gifts.

hopefully i can get the snowthrower started with the pull and not resort to the electric start!