So I beat both of those but in the past two years I've started binging and gained 40 lbs. However, I am just realizing it now and feeling guilty and ashamed of eating. I was eating sensibly during the day (almonds, yogurt, and not too much) and binging at night. Now I just fast because it's easier and I feel guilty even eating those foods.

The past two weeks I haven't been to the store and these are the things I've binged on: hot chocolate dry powder eaten with a large spoon, butter (don't ask), whole packages of cream cheese, full glasses of heavy whipping cream, peanuts even though I don't like them much just because they were in a 3 lb container and I thought I could hide it from my husband (but I ate the whole thing). And many other regular foods.

I just wanted to put that out there so I would feel accountable for it and to see that it is a real thing. It's kind of scaring me. I do see a counselor but she doesn't seem eager to discuss my eating. I feel so defeated. It's not something you can hide either. Thanks for listening.

Hi there again

I too used to have a drug addiction (prescription pills mostly) and at my worst, also drank quite heavily. Although, my eating disorder was always my primary issue. I am recovered from Anorexia/Bulimia, kicked the prescription pills and excessive drinking about 12 years ago, but I continue to waver back and forth with binge eating

Have you thought about seeing a specific eating disorders therapist? I have found that most general counselors/therapists aren't well versed in treating eating disorders.

I also have recently begun SMART recovery. I'm *very* new to it, but so far dig it It's a self help type program for addictive behaviors based on CBT, REBT, and mindfulness. There's an entire online community, with forums, that also offers online meetings and has a f2f meeting directory. (In the past I did EDA and OA as well)

Anyway here are some resources for you if you'd like:

https://www.smartrecovery.org/community/
http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org
https://oa.org

From what I remember from grad school, binge eating looks very similar chemically in the brain as drug and alcohol addiction. Same with anorexia and bulimia. They are process addictions (kind of like gambling, kleptomania) as they sometimes elicit the same kind of "high" as ingesting a mind-altering substance, and affect the person's life is similar ways that SA (substance abuse) does. So, I think it would make sense that you are having that reaction (binging) after suffering from other types... it's like trading addictions.

I am worried, however, that your counselor isn't interested in discussing it... if he/she knows your past with your ED and SA issues, I would think he/she would want to focus on how to help you through your current struggle. If it is seriously affecting your health, your weight loss goals, and your emotional state, I strongly encourage you to discuss it with your therapist, or find one who will.

I think the links posted above by JesikaBeth are helpful. There are articles and studies from the APA and Psychology Today if you look up keywords; I don't have enough posts yet to post a url.

Just checking in. How are you lyaga?

I found this very helpful. Thanks for this information!

40 pounds is about what I gained as a result of binging...I have had multiple bowls of cereal using half and half because we had no milk.