I'm really trying to get back into a fitness routine, but my mental illness it making it harder than ever. I used to be an avid runner in high school before my eating disorder got severe and I had to go into recovery. My depression now makes it near impossible to be motivated to exercise and not over eat. I keep visiting Pro-Ana/Mia sites and forums and trying to pick up old habits, and somtetimes have been B/P or taking laxatives, but usually I just gorge myself and eat. I suffer from PTSD as well as generalized anxiety, and getting back into dieting and a healthy lifestyle has never been this difficult. I'm hoping to start meds soon, but I'm also going to try my best to diet and stuff, still, as i'm at my highest weight ever. Is anyone else in the same situation? Or something similar? Has anyone experienced success despite stuff like this?

Hi Katie. Welcome to 3FatChicks. I have never had an eating disorder to the extreme that you have, but I do understand. There are a few people here that have battled this and you will probably hear from them. Success IS possible. It's good that you're seeking medical help and I hope you can get on a med that will help you.

Remember, it's never hopeless. Realizing that you have a problem is the first important step!

I'd look closely at a psychotherapy that deals with early trauma. Commonly your problems are directly tied to the early environment, albeit you're likely unconscious of the heaviest traumas.

Yes anxiety and depression, my favorite villains. It helps if you have the right music. There is nothing like the paralyzing effect of thinking too much. A good set of rituals will help.
I start with very specific sounds, then a hot shower or my favorite reading. There have been times it has taken me three hours just to get moving good.

I know this sounds crazy, but a little red lipstick helps. Do you know the opposite of anxiety and depression is calm elation? Sounds ironic, but way better.

I have this affirmation I use - I am an elegant bottle of bliss, bonjour on my lips, a thrill in my heart. I am the calm before the storm.

And please, don't go through this alone. Get some support, you're worth it. It's actually exciting to fight, although before you can fight this, I'll bet there is something inside of you that you need to grieve.

I just want to share this to you, an article about help for depression, maybe you can get some sort of information and you can decide for yourself on how to move forward. I do suggest consulting with a therapist. At some point in our lives, we really do need the help.