Hi there,

I am 39, married with a 10 year old daughter and live in North Yorkshire.

Three years ago I weighed 11st, got down to 9st then put it all back on again. I am now back at 11st.

I know what I should eat/drink in order to lose weight and I have an extensive knowledge of exercise and even a fully kitted out home-gym so in theory I have all the tools/knowledge I need to get back down to 9st.

What I am lacking (hugely) is motivation and a will to succeed. For the past year I have started a 'diet' virtually every fortnight, only to fall off the wagon before the week is out. I then seem to convince myself that there's no point starting again until Monday - not sure why but that's how my mind works.

The top and bottom of it is that I am so, so unhappy. I cannot stand to see myself in a mirror, I feel inferior and sad constantly and it is now affecting my family life as I find myself avoiding all social interactions.

Tomorrow (purposely not a Monday to prove to myself that the day is irrelevant!) I am beginning my weight loss journey. I have planned my meals, put together a 4 week exercise plan that includes both cardio and weights and will be working through the Beck Diet Solution Weightloss Workbook.

I will weigh myself once per week and take my measurements once per fortnight/month.

I am hoping to find weight loss buddies so that we can help, encourage and support each other in our journeys. I feel I have a lot to offer in the way of suggesting exercise routines and generally supporting other dieters and hopefully I can find buddies who can offer me encouragement to stick with my plan in return.

I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully building lasting friendships.

Hi CocoPops-

Well, I'm across the pond (I live in Alaska) but I could be a buddy and a cheerleader for you. I am not doing well at getting to my workouts- life has been incredibly busy lately and I'm not doing well at getting them in. I'm so tired in the evenings.

I would love to encourage you, and to receive encouragement in return. I'm close to my goal weight, but I'm actually kind of terrified that I'll bomb when I get into "maintenance" mode.

And for what it's worth, with me I tend to overeat more on the weekends so I've found it's pretty effective to modify my eating on the weekends more so than on weekdays. My weekdays are very structured, so it's easier to stay on plan. My weekends have less structure, and it's so much easier to cheat on my diet then! Maybe a strategy like that could help you?

Hi EagleRiverDee,

Thank you so much for your message and your offer to help support me.

I know exactly where you are coming from with your feelings of anxiety about almost being at your goal weight. I've come to realise that weight loss is as much about your state of mind as well as diet and exercise. I fee sure that you will be so happy and proud of yourself when you reach your goal weight that you will find yourself not wanting to undo all your hard work. Losing 84lb is an incredible achievement, well done.


Like you, I find weekends the hardest. During the week I am at home alone for most of the day - Hubble at work and daughter at school. I work from my home office which is handy as I don't have the distractions of a canteen or colleagues eating cake in front of me! I find weekdays easier as I can structure meals to fit round my plans but when the weekend arrives my plans go to pot so I definitely need to focus on structuring weekend mealtimes better.

Have you ever tried HIIT workouts? I was thinking maybe you would find them easier to fit into your busy schedule. Most only last around 20-30 minutes but the after-burn effect is phenomenal compared to a long slog on the treadmill at a steady pace.

I have everything in place to start my plan tomorrow so I will post my starting weight and measurements then and will keep in touch with progress. It would be lovely to hear more about you and how you have gone about losing the 84lb - that is very inspiring in itself.

I have tried HIIT. At least, I think that's what it is because it's definitely high intensity cardio. I was doing T25 (a video workout), and Tabata workouts. But lately I've been so tired! I just restarted hormone therapy because my blood tests showed all my hormones were very low and I have felt better the past few days so I'm very hopeful that I'll be feeling good enough to start exercising again soon! And I love the HIIT approach because it's all about getting it done so you can get on with other things. I would much rather give 110% for 30 minutes than work out for hours.

My most recent interest is in intermittent fasting. Fasting is not something I do, as a rule. But I've read enough on the mental and health benefits (and weight loss benefits) of doing it that I'm thinking of incorporating it to get these last few pounds off and hopefully to help me keep them off.

I'm on 3FC most days (weekends sometimes I am too busy, but weekdays I'm here every day) so I would love to encourage you as you start your plan tomorrow!

You asked about me- I'm 44, I have thyroid disease (Hashimotos) and a gut bacteria imbalance both of which pose different challenges to my weight loss efforts, I'm married with no kids but I do have 2 adult step-sons that live nearby. I've been trying to lose this weight for years. I tried, I failed, I tried, I failed. And this time I actually don't feel like I can take that much credit. Last year I got really sick. Like, I thought I was dying sick. I had horrible stomach pain (at one point so bad I went to the ER and my doctor though I'd perforated something) and I was so fatigued I was nearly non-functional. Test after test I got no diagnosis and for 5 months I just got sicker and sicker. The healthier I ate, the sicker I got, the more pain I was in. I lost an initial 20 lbs because it hurt so much to eat that I didn't eat that much. When I told my doctor I would try "anything", she asked me to restrict my diet to 3 foods for 10 days (lamb, rice and pear) and so I did that...and the pain went away. She was able to figure out (due to the bacterial imbalance in my gut) that I had developed serious sensitivities to histamine (found in anything aged- cheese, steak, tinned fish, wine, sausages, leftovers etc) and to salicylates (found in nearly all vegetables and fruit). Further bloodwork revealed I also had a 4/4 allergy to corn (a staple in my diet at the time) and a 2/4 allergy to garlic (my favorite spice). Needless to say, my diet changed radically. For a long time, all I ate as lamb, rice and pear. I would try other foods, and the pain would return so I would go back to the 3 foods I knew were safe. After much research, I finally found a website that was designed for people with both my sensitivities and it had lists of food that were safe. I've used that to expand my diet to about 40 foods now. Restaurant food is out of the question, so I cook all my meals at home fresh, and freeze leftovers (to minimize histamine accumulation). Anyway, it's been a blessing on one level because it helped me lose a lot of weight and I've regained much of the health I'd lost. But could I have adhered to a diet that strict without having a fear of pain if I strayed? I doubt it. Now, maybe, since I'm used to it. I keep to a core list of safe foods, and it's pretty much a strict version of the paleo/primal blueprint/whole 30 style of diet. I can eat fresh chicken, beef, lobster, lamb, bison and very fresh fish. So I have no problem meeting my protein goals. Fruits are limited to 2- banana and pear. Those so far are the only two that don't cause me pain. It also contributes to keeping my carb counts down- I'm very sensitive to carbs- because I love fruit but really can't eat much of it anymore. Vegetables are pretty limited also- I eat a lot of sweet potatoes, asparagus, cabbage, white potatoes (not exactly paleo but I tolerate white potatoes pretty well so I eat them) and a few others. My limited menu also provides one thing that is invaluable for weight loss- food boredom. I'm a lot less likely to overeat just simply because I get so bored with my diet. But this is one reason I'm terrified of regaining the weight- when my gut recovers and my diet expands, will I have learned enough self-control to not gain all the weight back? I hope so. I remember a time where I would say to God, "God, if you'll only make me thin again I won't ruin it." I love not carrying all that extra weight. I love that my stomach doesn't get in my way. I love that I'm in less pain in my back, my knees, my feet. Oh, how my feet used to hurt after walking all day. Now they don't. But I love food, too, and I'm worried that I'll ruin it all once I get better.

Hi. How are you? Have you had a good day food wise?

I got on the scales this morning and I was 155.4lb so that is my starting weight. My ultimate goal is 126lb but I'm not going to rush my weight loss. It needs to be steady and permanent.

Your health problems sound horrendous. It must have been such a relief when you finally got a diagnosis and could start afresh with foods that you knew wouldn't flare your symptoms up.

It's interesting that you say you too are doing intermittent fasting. I have found that approach works best for me in the past so that is what I am basing my eating plan round now. I have a healthy lunch at 2pm, dinner at around 7-8pm then fast for approx 18 hours until lunch the following day. I don't miss eating breakfast but as I train early in the mornings, I have a protein shake straight afterwards to aid muscle recovery. How are you finding the intermittent fasting?

I think for those of us who consistently struggle with weight gain over the years, it is always a worry as to whether we can stick at our goal weight once we get there. I am sure that you will have taught yourself the self-discipline to stick with your healthy ways. Reaching goal in itself will be such a huge achievement that I'm sure you won't want to jeopardise it.

Food wise, I have stuck to my meal plan for the day and have not snacked whatsoever in-between meals. As soon as my hubbie went to work at 6.30 I went straight downstairs and into the gym. I find that if I train first thing in the morning before my daughter gets up then it puts me in a better frame of mind for the day ahead. I did a 30 minute run/walk interval on the treadmill then an upper body and abs circuit. My daughter came down during my weight circuit and cheered me on, which helped enormously.

I have written my meal plan for tomorrow and have a plan for my training tomorrow too - HIIT on the exercise bike followed by a lower body and ab circuit. I am feeling very positive about the journey ahead and I am grateful to you for checking in with me and for your support thus far.

Speak soon.

Hi Cocopops!

Today I'm mostly fasting until lunch. I did have a coffee with half&half this morning, so not completely in a fasted state but close. IF is new to me, and I'm still learning how to do it. I'd like to get where I like you, and have an 18 hour fast with a 6 hour eating window. I did do that last week on Friday and didn't really have any problems. I don't know if I could do that on an active day (maybe after I get more adapted to it?) but I have a desk job so it wasn't hard. I'm also trying to eat lower-carb. I'm not seeking ketosis, just have a goal of keeping my total carbs under 150g per day and ideally under 100g per day since that is the sweet spot for fat loss. I eat plenty of protein and fat. My lunch today is likely to be eggs fried in butter since that's fast and I always need a fast lunch.

It sounds like you have a great plan both for eating and for exercising! You're more regimented than I am. I probably should try harder to make a firmer plan and stick to it, I mostly am about how I feel each day. And it's wonderful that you're such a good role model for your daughter and that she supports you.

Hi,

How are things with you today? I'm on day 2 today and feeling great. I did a HIIT interval on the bike this morning followed by a lower body and abs circuit. It went well and I felt really proud when I'd finished.

It's almost 11am and although I know I aren't physically hungry, I seem to be craving sugar so I am currently distracting myself with emails, a glass of water and will shortly work through today's tasks in the Beck Diet Solution workbook.

I have a slight headache but I know this will only be due to suddenly coming off a sugar binge.

Hi Coco!

My morning fast went well yesterday, and I'm doing it again today. This has me eating lunch shortly after noon, and then dinner between 5pm-6pm. Then I fast from 6pm to 12pm the following day- 18 hours. I've noticed that since I've started I've dropped a couple of pounds, but also noticed that I'm more constipated. Not sure why, or even if it's related. Probably TMI, haha. I did do some yoga last night before bed, which felt really good. Tonight I think I'll be working up at the new house, we have to install some stairs on the deck to get it ready for the final inspection so I'll be helping my husband do that.

I completely understand about the sugar cravings. I went nearly a year with no added sugar, and then about 6 weeks ago after a hard day working on the new house construction, I decided to treat myself to some ice cream. I made a point to get organic, 4 ingredients, and I only ate 1/2 pint but since then I've craved sugar and given in. Another 1/2 pt of ice cream here, a bowl of homemade tapioca pudding there. Sugar is so addictive. Definitely distract yourself!

I hope your headache goes away pronto. I get them at work, I get a knot in the back of my right shoulder blade from working at my computer and then I get a headache and nausea, nearly every day. It's a drag.

Hello. Thank you for your message. You sound to have got into a good routine with the IF. I find it helps me enormously just knowing that I can eat at 2pm. Instead of feeling deprived, the mornings feel manageable as I have a fixed end time for the fast.

I wonder if the constipation could be a side effect of the low carb, high protein nature of your diet. When I've done Atkins in the past I've sometimes struggled with the same. I find that drinking more water always helps to ease the symptoms. Do you drink enough water?

It's 8am on day 3 for me and I haven't been able to get into the gym yet as hubbie is working from home. We've got to travel to York after the school run to look at a new bulldozer we are thinking of buying so I will have to keep my wits about me on the food front. No doubt we will be calling at a McDonalds for a coffee on the way so that will help keep me feeling full.

Another thing I like about IF is the feeling of control that I get. It's less about being told what I can and can't eat by a diet regime and more about me making the conscious decision not to eat until 2pm.

How did the work on the new house go last night? When do you plan on moving in?

Hi Cocopops!

IF'ing yesterday went well. My stomach really started to growl by 10am but I held out until noon to eat. I haven't been getting lightheaded or anything so I figure it's safe. I remember years ago my doctor making a suggestion to me (don't recall what) and my response was, "But I'll get hungry!" and he was like, "It won't kill you." LOL. Not sure why I ever thought being hungry was a horrible thing, now I rather enjoy it. My meals taste better when I'm hungry, for one thing.

I have also wondered if my high protein/low carb approach is contributing to my constipation. Possibly. I do drink 2+ liters of water per day. I've been researching different solutions and as of yesterday began adding psylium fiber to my diet. It's just a powder I mix into a glass of water 2x a day. Hopefully I can tolerate it. With my gut dysbiosis I have trouble with a lot of supplements, but so far I seem ok.

Do you and your husband operate a construction business? I was wondering why you were going to go buy a bull dozer. That's actually something my husband and I want to get as well- a small one- for personal use. We have a remote piece of property North of here that we plan to build a cabin on and the road isn't maintained. We would have to maintain it ourselves, and the area gets a LOT of snow. So we would need something heavier than just a snowplow on a pickup truck. Fortunately this is a mining state and so bulldozers come up for sale used pretty regularly.

I agree with you on liking the feeling of control I get with IF. I don't feel deprived because it's a choice. I keep a "blender bottle" with protein powder in it. That way, if I must, I have something I can eat to tide me over. So far I haven't had to use it. It just sits in the Jeep, just in case. I've also been consciously limiting my carbs at lunch, which allows me to have more at dinner. That makes dinner very satisfying.

I actually didn't end up working at the new house last night. Hubby hadn't gotten done cutting out the stair risers the night before. He got that done last night (it was a one person job). I will definitely be working at the new house tomorrow and Sunday, tho. We hope to move in about 3 weeks from now. This has been going on for about 10 months and finally there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not sure how they build houses over where you live, but here they pretty much still build them on site and it takes forever. Well, seems like anyway. I read in most other developed countries that they pre-manufacture most of the house in a factory and then assemble them on site, which would be so much faster. Not to mention less expensive. They do commercial buildings like that here, but not houses for the most part.

PS- hope you get your workout in! What's your workout plan for today? Last night I did yoga again.

Hi, how are things with you today? I remember you saying in a previous message that you don't have much time at weekend for 3FC so please don't feel you have to reply.

How are you finding the psylium - is it helping your sysmptoms?

It's strange how, over the years, we have evolved to believe that being hungry is a terrible and unmanageable state. As you say, we aren't going to die from feeling hungry for a few hours. I am on day 4 now and am finding that I can talk myself our of breaking the fast/overeating/giving in the cravings far better than I use to be able to. Prior to this new mindset, I would cave at the very first hurdle whereas yesterday I overcame 3 episodes of cravings and didn't give in.

This morning when I got up, my legs were still aching from the previous gym session and I must admit it was a real drag to go down into the gym. I knew I was wobbling on my resolve so I re-read my list of reasons for wanting to lose weight and read some of the techniques in the Beck Diet Solution to re-focus my attention. I then went down into the gym and did an interval session ont he treadmill followed by an upper body weights circuit then some stretching to hopefully relieve my poor aching legs!

It is now 11.30am so only 2.5 hours until I can break my fast. I don't feel hungry at all so I am happy with how today is going.

Yes, we do own a groundworks and construction company. Half of the company concentrates on putting farm buildings, milking parlors, silos etc up while the other half of the company build houses. I believe some houses over here are pre-fab as you mentioned but the majority are still brick/stone and so built very much on site.

So this weekend you will be busy at your new house. I bet it is so exciting to be doing the work yourselves and working towards the end goal of moving in. Is your husband a tradesman?

It seems odd opening a message to you without saying you name....can I ask your name? Or do you prefer EagleRiverDee?

Speak soon.

Hi Cocopops!

Today was a good day. I had a hike scheduled with my Meetup group to go on a geocaching hike. No one showed up (boo!) but I decided to go by myself and so I did a 10 mile hike in 4 hours, about an hour and a half of that was time spent either searching for caches or taking photos.

The psyllium does appear to be helping a lot, actually. I'm surprised. I'd taken Metamucil before and didn't tolerate it well but this is pure psyllium with none of the added flavors, colors, etc. and I seem to be tolerating it just fine. I've been able to back off some on how much magnesium I was taking, which is nice.

I hope your legs feel better. Stretching always helps mine. I'll probably do some stretches tonight before bed, because my legs might cramp up after the long hike I did.

So I didn't work at the new house today- I didn't think we'd be working up there at all because my husband strained his shoulder yesterday and I thought he'd be smart enough to take a day off, but noooo- while I was out hiking, he went up to the house to work again. I'll help him tomorrow, though.

So that sounds cool that you and your hubby run a construction business. It sounds like you've done a good job of diversifying.

My real name is Dena, Dee is my nickname, and Eagle River is the name of the town I live in. That's where the moniker comes from. Why did you choose Cocopops?

Talk to you soon!

Hi Dena,

Lovely to hear from you, as always. Well done on the hike - I think if I was the only one who'd turned up I wouldn't have had the enthusiasm to go alone.

It's fantastic that the psyllium appears to be working for you, and also that it doesn't seem to be flaring your other symptoms up either.

Your husband sounds of a similar nature to mine - if he has a minute spare he finds a task to do, he never stops! Even today, Sunday, he went for a meeting on site at 8am then when he returns we are going to price a job up for a client.
It's none stop running our own company!

I am giving the gym a miss today to allow my legs time to recover before the session tomorrow morning. In the past, if I'd had a day off from the gym that would have been all the reason I needed to blow the diet and overeat, on the basis that I had failed so I may as well fail properly. How ridiculous that now sounds but that was how bad my thought process was before my new found positive determination to succeed.

Dena is a lovely name, do you prefer me to call you Dena or Dee? Cocopops is the nickname I was given as a child and I've always liked it. My nieces and nephews call me Auntie Coco - my real name being Corinne, which they found hard to pronounce when they were little so Coco has stuck - I like it, it's cute when they say it even though they are growing up now!

Dena or Dee is fine, either way.

I have opted not to hike alone a lot this year, because we're having a lot of bear encounters and maulings this year. Our bear population appears to be thriving. But I didn't want to not go and so I just made a point to carry my bear spray in my hand so I could deploy it quickly if needed and made some noise as I walked. This time of year the bears have plenty of food to eat (berries, fish) so I wasn't worried about a predatory attack, just that I might surprise one. I never saw any bears or even any bear scat. I only saw a rabbit, many squirrels, and birds.

You and your husband sound busy! I work for a small husband/wife owned company (we sell industrial pumps, primarily to the water/wastewater utilities, mines, and oil and gas companies) and they're planning to retire soon and have offered to sell the business to my co-worker and myself. It's a great opportunity, but I also know it will mean a lot more work. No more just working 8 to 5. They haven't set a price yet, so I won't know until then if we can do it.

When you work out, are you doing a routine you have developed yourself, or are you following a video, or...? I used to go to a local gym 4-5 days a week for an hour at a time and never really got very good results. I started following videos at home and invested in just a few pieces of equipment and got much better results. Not sure why. But it saves me the gym membership.

Thanks, I hope you have a great day and look forward to talking tomorrow!

Hi Dee,

What a fantastic potential opportunity for you. As you say, if you bought the company, it would require a lot more input but it will also reap far more rewards for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the price is attainable for you....keep me posted.

With my running, I am following a couch to 5k plan that I found on the interval - I've never enjoyed running in the past so I thought it best to start from scratch. I've also found a cycle HIIT plan online which I am following. I find I work better if I have a set plan to follow, less scope for me to deviate!

With regards to the weights circuits that I do, I put those together myself. I split the days into upper and lower body so as not to over-work any individual muscle groups. Each session has 7 exercises and I perform 3 sets of each. I enjoy weight training very much, especially when I see an improvement in reps or weight used.

I am now on day 6 and doing really well. I have got my head round the IF and am loving the increased energy levels and concentration that I've been experiencing. I've also made realy good food choices so things are going good.

How are things with you?