I have to confess. I hold a bit of resentment towards this pretty girl who used to be my friend back in college. Back then she'd played a big part in bringing down my self esteem- she would say hurtful things sometimes or go out with the guy I liked or maybe event just by the way she was. It has taken me YEARS to build my confidence back, and even now it's not where it should be...

Yet every now and then I stalk her on social media and find her doing extremely well in her career and life in general. And honestly, it brings me down a little. I don't want to doubt her intelligence. But tbh, I know many other women who are wayyy smarter.

Today is just one of those days when I feel like maybe life's kinder to her because she is prettier? She can eat all she wants without putting on a lb of weight, she has great hair and shiny skin, people throw themselves at her feet to do her favors she doesn't even ask for.

Is it true that life is easier for more attractive people?

I understand your feelings. I think this is your lack of self esteem talking. People whom we think are prettier, smarter, luckier than we are actually have their own problems that we aren't aware of.

Instead of wallowing, we should be working toward becoming the best we can be!

I've seen multiple studies that show that more attractive people do indeed have an easier time both socially and in their careers. So- short answer, yes. But it's not the be-all, end-all. I'm a decidedly average looking person. I've been called ugly multiple times in my life, so clearly some people don't even find me average. But I've always done fine socially and in my career. Attitude makes up for a lot. ;-) Don't stalk your ex-friend. It's never good to compare your life to someone else's because that will lead you to feeling unhappy. Instead, focus on how you have been blessed and be grateful for that. It'll make you happier- and people love happy people.

You're right! I was in denial for a long time (who likes to admit that they have zero self confidence). I've really been working on it though. It's definitely hard work to work on oneself- be it physically or mentally.

I'm sorry that you've been called ugly. No one should have to hear such things said about them.

You're absolutely right on so many levels - I love your take on life! Attitude is key, which I've been working on for a few years now. Stalking is such an addictive activity, one can waste precious hours without realizing. Yet I do it sometimes for no good reason. Thank you for writing this out because I don't feel so alien anymore!

eagleriverdee already summed up most of what I wanted to say. But I also want to add, if you can please, please give up the social media stalking. Nothing good comes out of it ever! I used to be so obsessed with a crush who rejected me a few years ago, and he was constantly on facebook and I lived for his facebook page. In hindsight I saw how destructive that was for me, and have given it up every since. It's actually great being ignorant/oblivious to people who give you nothing but bad feelings. Give it a try!

Scoobysnackz you're absolutely right! I've already wasted so many precious hours stalking and seeing what others are up to, when I could've been reading a good book or pursuing a new hobby or something productive
But I've been making a conscious effort lately. This whole episode that I wrote about above really put things into perspective. I love how you put it here

Omg, same! I have experienced a profound improvement in mental health since I blocked my crush on Facebook.

Lack of self esteem has more to do with it than looks. Unfortunately its us fat girls and that tend to have the lower self esteem. I say this because I know people who were heavier than me or not very attractive in high school and college, but they've turned pretty well with great jobs, homes and husbands. While I have a decent job, I'm no where near owning my own home and Im too chicken to step into the dating world.

TO be honest, yes life is kinda unfair, and most people take actions "unconsciously". And looks and appearances are a major driving factor behind those actions, because unconciously people get sexually attracted to beautiful and attractive people. However, is the same unconscious mind, where your own insecurities and low selfesteem reside making you worry about the things you can;t control. Let go of them, and FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL!

as sad as it is i can tell you my life lessons tell me it is lol